should I tell family & work colleagues

[kjb]

I am undecided whether to disclose to my family members & work colleagues that I am undergoing bypass surgery,to justify taking time off work I have told most people that I am undergoing minor surgery for acid re-flux,I am of the opinion that people will think I am taking the easy option & will not truly understand or realize my options are limited,easy for people to comment that have never suffered from weight issues,just wondered how many of us have actually not told immediate family for fear of being judged

 

[top_kat]

ive not told family or work colleagues. Not because of what they may say or think, but simply because I don't want them to know, nor us there any need for them to. If mum were still here I would have told her, as it is my aunt knows as she took me to the hospital and my son. Other than that, no-one.

 

[borogirl]

Hi I have told anyone and everyone. People have all been supportive and kind. No negative feedback. I had a bypass and couldn't have kept it a secret as it is life changing. Nothing to be ashamed of. Best of luck whatever you decide.

 

[Ines4C]

I agree, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I have told everyone, and my fiance is doing the same, bless him. So, I agree, mainly people are supportive and the ones who are not, might just be worried about you or simply have no clue. Hope that helps. X

 

[slaz]

My wife knows but nobody else at all. It's not a matter of being honest or not, or what people may say or think, it is simply that it is nobody else's business. I don't discuss how much I have or haven't in the bank or what I paid for my house, nor would I ask anyone else, it would be simply rude. We are all different and it is a very personal matter whether we want to tell everybody, nobody, or just some people but you can never untell anyone.

 

[wannabeyummi]

My immediate family and some extended family know. 2 of my closest friends know. They know my situation and have been going through the stages with me so they know its not the easy way out. When considering wls u have to be so open and honest with urself, face ur demons and that is not easy.
I applied the saying "those that mind don't matter & those that matter don't mind" I changed the mind to judge. If some one asked me specifically if I've had wls I would prob tell them but I'm not going to sing it from the roof tops x

 

[carebear1]

I personally don't discuss my life with anyone so telling people would be completely out of character for me. I told my sister because she stayed with the kids and I told 1 cousin and that's all. I'm not fussed about judgement its just that my life is my life

 

[piglet8]

Initially only my husband knew for various reasons I didn't want people to know. I didn't want my weightloss journey to be under the microscope and for it all to be about how much weight have you lost now, everytime I met people.I was also really worried that I wouldn't be able to make this work so the less people that knew the less embarrassing it would be!
A large part if me felt, and still do to some extent, mortified that I allowed my self to become so out of control so that I needed wls in the first place so the last thing I wanted to do was to advertise it to the world. I have now ended up telling my parents and a few close friends but that was only after 7 odd months post op. My boys (15 and 13) still don't know, initially I didn't want to upset and worry them and now it's not something that comes up so see no little point in telling them now.
Everybody will do things different and we can only go by what feels right to your individual circumstances.

 

[moomoo1]

i told everyone i was banded and im telling everyone im having a bypass each to their own but i dont have an issue telling ppl and it has led to 2 others going for bands after seeing my results so i see it as being informative although backfired now i put all weight back on lol

 

[Lincs Lass]

Just do whatever you feel comfortable with. I'll tell anyone if it is pertinent at the time but not simply for the sake of it. I don't treat it as an issue and have not come across anyone that does.

But that's just me. Everyone has valid reasons for whether they've decided to tell people or not which is all cool x

 

[desperate2lose]

I personally didnt tell anyone except my family. I know some family members and freinds would be supportive but I really dont want to be the talk of the town..but that is just people I know. If you feel comfortable discussing this with your friends and family, then tell them.
I just feel deceitful when everyone is so impressed with me and I just shrug off the compliments and the comments as they keep asking how I did it.

 

[Beebs]

Agree with borogirl that you have nothing to be ashamed of, but do think you don't have to justify yourself to anyone or put yourself up for judgement by anyone. As long as your nearest & dearest know (or anyone that matters to you), then don't feel you have to tell anyone anything. Just my opinion... but most importantly, do whatever is right for YOU. Best of luck x

 

[bakedbean]

I've got balloon and only my husband knows because when I was researching everyone said urgh what u looking at that for n it's quick fix etc and I also don't want the "how much you lost this week then oooh told you it wouldn't work"
I think everyone different
Good luck x

 

[Jozefina]

Initially only my husband knew for various reasons I didn't want people to know. I didn't want my weightloss journey to be under the microscope and for it all to be about how much weight have you lost now, everytime I met people.I was also really worried that I wouldn't be able to make this work so the less people that knew the less embarrassing it would be!
A large part if me felt, and still do to some extent, mortified that I allowed my self to become so out of control so that I needed wls in the first place so the last thing I wanted to do was to advertise it to the world. .....
Everybody will do things different and we can only go by what feels right to your individual circumstances.

I so agree with all of this. I've only told my H so far and can't see that changing anytime soon. I havent had my op yet and am already stressing about what to say at work ...

 

[slaz]

I so agree with all of this. I've only told my H so far and can't see that changing anytime soon. I havent had my op yet and am already stressing about what to say at work ...

I am now over 2 months post op and still my wife is he only one who knows that I have had surgery. The tricky times have been when on liquid only or mushy foods but apart from that there have been no issues. Last night we were at a friend's house for dinner and we are having a family barbecue tomorrow, we have eaten out several times. Everyone knows that I now eat small portions of my high protein,low fat,low carb diet. I am retired so don't have work colleagues to think about but we live in a village with less than 100 people and you can't break wind without everybody knowing so you should have no difficulty at work.As I have said before you can always change your mind and tell people but you can never untell them. Good luck!

 

[Jozefina]

I am now over 2 months post op and still my wife is he only one who knows that I have had surgery. The tricky times have been when on liquid only or mushy foods but apart from that there have been no issues. Last night we were at a friend's house for dinner and we are having a family barbecue tomorrow, we have eaten out several times. Everyone knows that I now eat small portions of my high protein,low fat,low carb diet. I am retired so don't have work colleagues to think about but we live in a village with less than 100 people and you can't break wind without everybody knowing so you should have no difficulty at work.As I have said before you can always change your mind and tell people but you can never untell them. Good luck!

Thanks, slaz

I guess I'm mostly concerned about what to say at work re WHY I need time off; I'm quite a private person there (don't socialise with colleagues etc) and the idea of people knowing that I'm having this procedure makes me cringe. So I will have to come up with a form of wording, LOL

Your comment about not being able to "untell" people reminds me of my former boss who used to say (in a deep south of the USA Accent): "you can't unring that bell, honey". Very true!

 

[kjb]

I would love to tell my son's but you know the score,they are all married & would obviously tell there wife's,they could let it slip to there families ,before I know it 20 questions & so on.
As for work I have told everyone I am undergoing surgery for gall bladder removal & acid reflux,it's non of there business anyway,but some do have loose lips & more faces than the town clock,it's my choice & I chose life!!!!

 

[Jozefina]

I think I'm going to let work people believe it's gynaecological ... then they'll be too afraid to pry for fear of hearing about my (imaginary) prolapse, LOL

 

[kjb]

I think I'm going to let work people believe it's gynaecological ... then they'll be too afraid to pry for fear of hearing about my (imaginary) prolapse, LOL

difficult for me unless I tell them I'm undergoing removal of my third testicle

 

[Tazz76]

I told everyone as I couldn't really hide it because I knew, from the pre op diet I had lost a lot of weight and people had started to notice. I was judged in the beginning but when I had explained about the several obesity related illnesses I had, people understood.

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