sooo moody

[chezez]

OMG i feel in such a mood i have pmt aswell as the pre op diet, I know I'm a moody ***** and I warned hubby its going to be bad please be patient with me and what has he gone and fueled it all I'm seething, he saying I'm sick of all these moods I'm leaving had enough he says he ain't really leaving he says it to wind me up the jerk and then makes me so angry then when I eat something blood sugar goes up and i feel a little better he just hasn't got a sympathetic bone in his body wish he wasn't so blunt and nasty as he can be so good but then again on his terms, I'm scared because the surgery might make me see a whole new side to him we have been together 25 years long time xxx

 

[Grace]

Sorry I don't know what to say but didn't want to read and run. Sending big hugs.
25 years is a long time and I guess none of us is perfect? Have you talked to your hubby about your feelings about this surgery? It may help to have a heart-to-heart?
Grace xxxx

 

[chezez]

Thanks Grace yeah we have talked i really feel like I'm going through this on my own, he says he will do it in his own way and if i push him he wont. Sly comments about is this how its going to be after you had the op I say if you would have read up on it you will know more he said not a chance you can tell me but then when i try it turns into a massive fight i wont back down and neither will he maybe 2011 is going to be a year of getting rid of unwanted things in my life that hold me back we will have to see I know I probably have a lot of thinking to do xxxxxx

 

[blueeyes]

25 years ! That is a long time, well done! I would hope a relationship like that can take this sort of thing. If you don't, then we don't stand a chance. LOL
My partner was fairly distant shall we say, from the whole thing, for months.. for EVER! In favour of it yes, but not very interested. So I did my own thing, my research, my preparation.. but once the date was given to me he was all ears and now is more up-to-date on my medication than I am! Men are like that. I think they just don't have a very long attention span. LOL (of course I generalise! before any males here get all funny with me).
All the very best! xx

 

[chezez]

Well we have had some really bad times got over them but I can sense something different this time lets hope its not because I will be slim and he cant sabotage me any more he says he wants me out there having fun but when it comes to it he is very insecure and me been big keeps me at home which it has for many years, When i was allot smaller and had a life lol he tried his best to keep me at a level probably thought he could control me better NOT I'm too head strong fat or thin lol he met his match in me lol xxxxx

 

[nikster1975]

my hubby was the same in the last days and when we talked it through after i'd had it done..he said he felt he had to distance himself a little because he was worrying about everything ie how would I feel about him after I've lost the weight...would i get through op ok......would i change etc etc .... it's not just us that have these fellings!!!

You keep your chin up you are so close now he will either stay for the run and help or you will have to decide on your future xxxxxxx

hope things go well xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[sugga]

Hope you can work through this Chezez, its such a worrying time for both of you xxx

 

[Grace]

Well my hubby has been supportive in his own way and was definitely worried to bits when I hit complications. But in a sense I do understand because he's never engaged with this like I have. He's quite overweight himself and loves his grub too and I think at first was very worried about how the surgery would impact him and our life together.

Like Blueeyes I was the obsessed one, did all my research, told him all about it. He probably took in 50% or a bit less!....but he's had to learn since I've had the surgery because it does impact our lives.
However just recently as my weight loss is really beginning to show, my hubby's much happier (he was always comfortable with me at whatever weight) and keeps making comments about how gorgeous I'm looking.
I do hope the same happens for you. Maybe your hubby's feeling worried and insecure and being grouchy is his way of dealing with it? Men are very strange creatures...

...no disrespect to our male WLS buddies! I'm sure they think we're a bit strange too!

 

[chezez]

Thanks to all of you angels come in many disguises xxx

 

[blueeyes]

Well he can be out there having fun with you, no? My partner and I have talked about a range of things we'll be able to do TOGETHER afterwards, well about a year from now, when I'm a lot slimmer hopefully, which we haven't been able to do before. It reinforces the feeling that we will BOTH benefit from this surgery in the long run.
Hope you can work through it all.. it's a BIG DEAL! The sooner he realises this, the better.
xx

 

[Grace]

Well he can be out there having fun with you, no? My partner and I have talked about a range of things we'll be able to do TOGETHER afterwards, well about a year from now, when I'm a lot slimmer hopefully, which we haven't been able to do before. It reinforces the feeling that we will BOTH benefit from this surgery in the long run.
Hope you can work through it all.. it's BIG DEAL! The sooner he realises this, the better.
xx

Good point blueeyes. We've done the same. And we're already starting to reap the benefits, just in little things, like when we were in Oxford, strolling arm in arm together. (I've been in a wheelchair but am beginning to regain a little bit of my mobility.)
I can't wait until we can stroll arm in arm along a beach at sunset.
I do hope yo guys can work through this.

 

[gaelic girl]

Hey hun, i'm so sorry you are having difficulties. I think this journey makes us reflect a lot especially pre op, as its a case of "what if or what will it be like" then the mind works overtime. I know i reflected a lot about a lot of different things including my relationship with my husband. He was so insecure about my op that he kept saying that i would leave him when i was "skinny" it got to the stage i thought you know what i might as i didn't think i was happy. The biggest surprise of my weight loss is how content i feel with what i have and how grateful i am. I think what i'm trying to say is don't make any hasty decisions just now hun 25 years is a long time and you will know soon enough what you want to do! I'm not sticking up for hubby he shouldn't be treating you as he is but maybe he might be frightened that he is going to lose you so he is pushing you away. The most important thing is to do what's right for you big hugs hun for better days xx

 

[chezez]

Ive told him all this and told him that the bedroom department will be allot better as well lol he don't understand that all my meds makes me so unsexy and not well you all know where this is going lol well lets hope as i know my confidence is going to be back up there like it used to be and the world better watch out as Cheryl will be back lol hope he can cope lol Ive been a mum since I was 17 years old Ive struggled left right and center Ive always struggled with a weight problem not as bad as i am now and life at times has just been so horrible and this op has given me a second chance at life and I intend to make the most of what life I have left and achieve all the things that I have always wanted to xxxx

 

[dottychic]

I hope things settle down a bit for you Chez Men can certainly be selfish at time and they tend to weigh up things in terms of "how will this affect me"! Im generalising here obviously! Maybe when he sees how happy you are post surgery he will be different....or maybe he will be worse. You wont know until it happens, just take one day at a time as you are going to need everything focused on your op and recovery. Its a whole new way of eating and how we view ourselves. I hope he gives you the support you need and deserve 25 yrs is a long long time and worth fighting for but it takes two....he might suprise you Good Luck hun XX

 

[chezez]

I want to say a big thankyou to you all my angels thats what you are, im getting quite nervous now as i go in hospital on Thurs op Fri ohhhh xxxxxx

 

[dottychic]

Wooohoooo, dont be nervous....be excited I got better the nearer it got. You wait a long time for it come so now its here try and enjoy it.....its the start to your new life Dont worry......be happy XX

 

[gaelic girl]

You will be fine hun and the nerves will go and as Jacqui says you will get excited just like i got the best birthday present ever, you are about to get the best christmas present ever. Big hugs xx

 

[blueeyes]

You'll be fiiiiiine.. don't worry too much. I told myself, these people (surgeons/nurses) do this every day, they know what they're doing, I'm in good hands. And so you will be too. It'll be all over before you know it and it's the start of your new life very very soon.
It's a life changing moment, enjoy it, you deserve it!
xx

 

[Jaysee]

25 years ! That is a long time, well done! I would hope a relationship like that can take this sort of thing. If you don't, then we don't stand a chance. LOL
My partner was fairly distant shall we say, from the whole thing, for months.. for EVER! In favour of it yes, but not very interested. So I did my own thing, my research, my preparation.. but once the date was given to me he was all ears and now is more up-to-date on my medication than I am! Men are like that. I think they just don't have a very long attention span. LOL (of course I generalise! before any males here get all funny with me).
All the very best! xx

That made me giggle about their attention span! My husband has been very much the same, the only major comment hes made so far is 'I suppose when youre slim youll run off and leave me'...and on a number of occassions Ive said I bloomin well will!....Seriously though, while we are all very self absorbed with whats happening with us (and rightly so) I suppose they do have moments of feeling a bit left out or insecure. There are huge differences ahead and Ive heard some relationships dont stand the test...I think all you can do is be as open with eachother as you can about how you both feel.

 

[chezez]

Hello my angels well update he nearly opened up to me but then went and put his big foot right back in what a numpty. He said to me I'm sick of hearing your starving all the time and will be glad when its over but if he would of read about it like I asked him to he would of known it don't just end there at the surgery lol he thinks its funny to wind me up when firstly I'm flipping hungry and second I have PMT oh it hilarious to him to see me lose it i really think he gets a kick out of it you know. Well have one more day hen I'm in surgery on Friday I will admit I couldn't stomach milk this morning so i had a slice of wholemeal toast it should be OK i hope, Going to write all my cards out now and do some Xmas wrapping love to you all.

Cheryl xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx