ok so this is quite hard for me to write i went to my friends yesterday - i dont go out much as i have really and panic attacks due to being so self conscience due to my weight! anyway i was there a few hours sitting in the lounge - everyone else had slowly drifted in to the kitchen when my friend asked 'wheres kirsty' - someone who id never met before replied who cares shes fat!!! i dont know why but it really bothered me... i did confront him as did my friend - he didnt say anything just went and lied on her bed but i left soon after and his words really cut me! im due to be seeing the surgeon on the 4th September after losing the 5% they asked of me in 4 weeks but now i find myself wishing my life away... i really just want to give up as im sure ppl just see me as a joke! after all its my fault im so fat in the first place!! i dont even know why im writing this - i guess its just easier talking to ppl u dont know & on the plus side they cant see ur tears through a screen