Who knows about your surgery, either had or going to have? Reasons?

[pinklady2609]

I told all of my friends and family and everyone has been really supportive - as other people notice my weight loss and comment on it or ask questions I tell them about the surgery - simply because I would not be prepared to lie to people that I know !

 

[sarahloveswelshcobs]

First of all - well done in taking control now. At least you have a good chance and time on your side to get the weight issues sorted, and with any luck look forward to a successful pregnancy in time.

I told only my parents and husband at the time, plus my best friend. They were all concerned, but thankfully supportive. Now it's been several months, I've told a few people. No one has asked and those that I felt should know have also been supportive and non judgemental.

Nobody can judge me more than me. The week prior to surgery, I really really gave myself a hard time.

I felt a complete failure for having to resort to surgery (self funded). In hind sight, it's the best thing I could ever have done. Everyone who knows reckons failure is furthest from the truth and I now know they're right.... It took guts and acceptance that I'd live with whatever changes would follow for life...

Dont worry about others - it doesnt matter what they think and the better you feel and more you lose, the less you'll care anyway.

I do hope you have someone close to confide in for support x

 

[Helski]

Hi I told close family on my side, not my husband's, and four people at work. I made it clear to all of them that I did not want to hear their opinions, it was something I decided to do for me, and it was not an easy decision in any way, nor an easy path. They are all supportive (to my face anyway) and what they say behind my back, if anything, is none of my business.
I've only lost a stone so far and if anyone asks, I just say that I am eating less, which is true.
It's really nothing to do with anyone else. It's your life and as I said to those I told. Until you have walked a mile in my shoes, do not judge me. It worked!
Good luck.

 

[emma-louise]

When I was big I had no confidence at all and chose not to tell anyone about having a bypass done.
I was very worried about people thinking I chose the easy way out.
And at the time weightloss surgery was being spoken about on the radio,tv and how the obese was costing the nhs thousands and we wasn't deserving of it just "eat less" we are lazy fatties.
In the first year of my bypass when the weight was dropping off me,I was the local gossip.
All the mums at school was whispering/nudging and looking at me.
There had been a few times total strangers has stopped me in the street.
I still couldn't bring myself to tell about surgery....
Well over 3 years later and from size 24 to 12 and my confidence has grown so much...
I couldn't a hoot what people think now,but if I did mention having surgery now I would just look dishonest.
So looking back I wished I'd just told people,as I could handle remarks now.
So I'd say be prepared if you choose not to tell people x

 

[borogirl]

Hi I have told everyone. Never had a negative comment. I am not ashamed and people have been so nice and supportive.
I have to now hold back from telling people I don't know!
I don't care what people think, I feel fab x

 

[Danielle88]

I've told my friends and some co-workers and they have all been supportive about it.

But two of my closest friends have said comments which kind of pissed me off abit.

I said to one of my friends who is overweight but not as much as myself, 'I can't wait to be slimmer' to which she replied 'lucky for some'. To me that sounded like she was jealous of what I was doing and she has said that she would never have surgery. So I had to say to her 'nothing is stopping u from losing weight' And she didn't reply.

With my other friend, we were looking for holidays to go on in a few months and I was looking for self catering, to which she said 'no I don't want to I'll have to take extra money to buy food, it's alright for you, you want be able to eat much'. I didn't even reply to her because I feel that comment was not needed at all!!

 

[borogirl]

Hi just ignore the comments as the majority are supportive. You are doing this for you and no one else.
But all inclusive is easier after the op, no hassles leaving food and you can have a bit if everything. Honestly! I didn't think it would be but it is.
My weightloss has prompted my friend to loose weight as she doesn't want to be the biggest in the group. She hadn't been as positive as my other friends but I can live with it as I know deep town she is a true friend. X

 

[Butterfly_lady]

I couldn't give a flying fig what folks think or say about me, if they got nothing better to do than gossip about me let them fill their boots, it gives some other poor buggar a break

 

[emma-louise]

I couldn't give a flying fig what folks think or say about me, if they got nothing better to do than gossip about me let them fill their boots, it gives some other poor buggar a break

I certainly couldn't give a hoot now!
But mums in the playground can be like vultures..lol

 

[princess4d4]

people will judge no matter what when i go out i hear all the snide remarks oh look at her the fat cow etc and them same people will judge me when i lose the weight it will all be oh look at her wonder how she did that i really dont care as long as i am happy with my choice thats all that matters and if they wasnt judging my weight im sure there would be something else to judge me for

 

[andrea shoeshine]

when I was doing me research I told no one but as the time came to book it I told my 3 daughters , booked the consultation 3 times and cancelled 3 times , on the 4 time I actually went and payee for it there and then as I would have walked away and never got it done. at that point my family and close friends new and now post opp a lot of ppl know and truthfully they have all had there 2 penny's worth of gossip and I don't care because when my bmi drops below 30.35 and ive lost my 6 stone goal its about me being happy in the body im in not any one else ... so every one has a preference on do they tell or don't they .. but its what makes the individual person happy and confident and thank goodness for forums like this x

 

[HelenAngelfish]

I think when the time comes (get date etc), I will have to tell my boss and team at work, as I've been told I will need to be off work for 8 - 12 weeks - anyone else been told this?

I have a regional role at work, so lots of travel - guess it must be the driving and the impact to stomach muscles... Unless that is the time, they give all recovery for Sleeve's?

xx

 

[HelenAngelfish]

I've told my friends and some co-workers and they have all been supportive about it.

But two of my closest friends have said comments which kind of pissed me off abit.

I said to one of my friends who is overweight but not as much as myself, 'I can't wait to be slimmer' to which she replied 'lucky for some'. To me that sounded like she was jealous of what I was doing and she has said that she would never have surgery. So I had to say to her 'nothing is stopping u from losing weight' And she didn't reply.

With my other friend, we were looking for holidays to go on in a few months and I was looking for self catering, to which she said 'no I don't want to I'll have to take extra money to buy food, it's alright for you, you want be able to eat much'. I didn't even reply to her because I feel that comment was not needed at all!!

Sounds like your friends don’t like the group dynamics changing

xx

 

[Dilligaf]

I told my husband, adult son and one sister. Like others here, I decided it was a private medical matter and didn't want to deal with any potential negativity and judgements.

And yes, people have noticed the weight loss but I'd already made some major life changes so they just assume it's all part of it.

 

[Tangled]

This has been one of the toughest parts of this whole journey for me.
My husband, boss, best friend and my Dad know. I can't bring myself to tell my Mum until the day after I've had surgery as she will just worry and google the risks.
I can't take other peoples influences it's too much of a big decision.

I'm still not clear how much I will disclose after the op. There will be the office gossips, I work in. Big office with over 300 people and the role I do means I'm well known.

But I've kind of come to a decision. At 21stone people had their opinions, so what the hell!

Who cares people will be gossiping but I will be healthy and able to live a fulfilled life.

Good luck , it's tough makIng the decision without worrying about others

 

[Yvessa]

I think when the time comes (get date etc), I will have to tell my boss and team at work, as I've been told I will need to be off work for 8 - 12 weeks - anyone else been told this?

I have a regional role at work, so lots of travel - guess it must be the driving and the impact to stomach muscles... Unless that is the time, they give all recovery for Sleeve's?

xx

I was told 6 weeks for bypass and only because I was on my feet all the time.

 

[Danielle88]

Sounds like your friends don’t like the group dynamics changing xx

Probably so, but they're just going to have to deal with it :-D

 

[Butterfly_lady]

I think when the time comes (get date etc), I will have to tell my boss and team at work, as I've been told I will need to be off work for 8 - 12 weeks - anyone else been told this?

I have a regional role at work, so lots of travel - guess it must be the driving and the impact to stomach muscles... Unless that is the time, they give all recovery for Sleeve's?

xx

I had a bypass on the Thursday and went back to work on the following tues (6am-6pm) but I work from home on my lappy.

 

[nicola1723]

I work from home too by had the full 2 weeks off as recommended by my team. I was told no housework or vigorous exercise for 6 weeks. Just walking x

 

[clare-revised]

I've told my Mum & both kids, 1 bff who has a band - no one else....simply as my entire workplace & remaining family are so judgemental, I would fall out with too many people...this way just keeps it simple for me .... I've kinda thought 2wks would be sufficient recovery time, maybe 3