Hi all,
I am still a new kid to this site. I am now 4 years out.
I've lost over 200 lbs and am actually still working on getting used to having a new body.
I still deal with all the issues which were present before my surgery-as you know we had tummy surgery and not head surgery.
I say it often and it's my motto-it's not the fact that we fall down, because we WILL fall down. We are human. It's what we do
after we fall down that really counts!!
The most important area of work i have ahead has to do with acceptance. Acceptance of this body and this "me". We can so easily forget where we came from. The fact that I could not get up unassisted. The fact that I could only walk a short time without being desperately out of breath.
Even after 4 years-I still make room for what I call my "ghost fat". This means I may go sit on the sofa next to someone and sit VERY far away-thinking I will need all that space for my bum!
But that bum is now-as they say behind me!
I have read many posts over the years and I have found that nearly all of us have some hurts to deal with. One thing professionals are still learning and I have NO doubt they will figure out one day-is that you do not get to be as large as some of us were and be unscathed by the shear trauma of it.
I believe we must give some respect to where we were and how very hard we worked and how we suffered. Our dear bodies certainly did the best it could and we need to honour that if we can.
So-I have this body. This body is not like the bodies I see in magazines at all. I have loose skin and it can be uncomfortable. On a bad day-I can really focus on that...until I snap out of it and remember I could not even tie a shoelace four years ago! Perspective is everything.
One of the things I still do struggle with is isolation. I still get a bit anxious being out and about-some of us indeed will have been traumatized whilst we were very large. However-I work each day to break out of that old thinking.
I moved from California to England two years ago-and I am still working on making friends! LOL! Well-baby steps right?!
And finally-
We need each other. Who better to hold a hand out than that same hand who had to reach for help before. It takes one-to know one. I am grateful for sites like this where we can find an understanding soul no matter day or night.
Thanks for reading my ramble and now off to read more about all of you!!