BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

[BandedHun]

ooooooooooooooooh gawd my fav LOL had a pot of it myself yesterday LOL wooohoooo we girls have got to have some fun eh x x x x

We do ;-) .... Life would be boring without the little treats aye! Xxx night crystal- sweet dreams sweetheart xxx

 

[Crystalrainbow]

right back at ya beautiful x x x x sleep well

 

[Yvessa]

You look absolutely stunning honey Well done

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Swit swoo you look a million dollars doll! Eventually your brain will catch up with your shrinking body and you'll love what you see x x x

 

[sharon2014]

Hi Sharon - firstly thank you and yes I did feel really upset when we went coz I just thought I was slimmer than I was- not that a size 12 I'm complaining now being 11:12 but I think I always see these stick thin girls and that's what I'd look like. BUT ... After the night I've had ( well needed with all the stress) I feel amazing, can't believe having a friend do my hair buying a new £180 dress and wearing make up I'd feel so much better ... I really needed tonight ! Massively, I've felt so down with all these depressed thoughts and anxieties and tonight I just had a couple if glasses of wine , sweeties, pulled pork ( the wedding was festival theme! Amazing! Just as V festival is down the road to me this weekend I end up at a festival wedding! ) As for the hair Sharon my friend does it. She's amazing, I might ask her more often just to put my hair in up do ... I cr@p at things like that since the dog attack I can't use my left hand well so gripping hair and clips is hard for me. Anyway, I'm home and one tired teddy, consumed a lot more food today ( well see said attached picture of the pulled pork and I managed all of three forks and three chips , plus a small top off the ice cream- threw the cine and inside, and half a cupcake! :-s )) Ooopsie!!!!! Oh well fill day Tuesday! Or defill but how much more I've managed to eat this week and the hunger I'm thinking stay the same or tiny tiny fill .... Hummmm Few pictures of the wedding and food ....

Glad you had a great time love!! If it makes u feel better you should get ur hair done more often!!
She does a great job!!

The pics are fab and looks like ur having a ball!! the food looks amazing as well!

Good luck with ur appt, maybe keep u as is or mini fill if been bit hungrier?? Xxx

 

[BandedHun]

Well hell broke loose yesterday and I've finally come to terms with the fact I'm ending my career it's having too much of a negative impact on my health and life. I'm miserable . I've never been happy at 31 I should be and I'm still young enough to have a new career... Just need to get thinking first. Feels like a weight off my mind.y decision is made though.
Off to hospital now and counselling need it to cope at the mo. I'll pop my weight stats on as soon as I know from my appointment
Hope everyone's ok . Feel free to give me some career ideas for a bright bubbly sensitive hard working professional girl , law knowledge and slight rail knowledge .... Any ideas? ;-)

 

[emmahc1975]

Have you thought about going back to education? Maybe you could do a law degree?you sound like an intelligent girl, with your experience & your ability to express yourself it might suit you? It'd certainly be a good way to build confidence.

 

[BandedHun]

Hummm law degree! Urgh. The thought of staying in law but I know what u mean.

Had a 0.25ml defill so hopefully can consume more. Apparently what I are on roast dinner day was not near enough and they will monitory diet more closely. So in five weeks I lost 10kg... So like 20lbs? They were like it's toooo much so u should try to maintain now . I don't need to loose anymore but I said I'd like to be 10st 7lb at least . The Dietican was like that's a BMI of 20.7 too low really for your age. So we agreed on 10st 10-12. Giving me a 21.7 BMI. So I can loose another stone yaye. I'd fell better because I still don't feel slim , yes I know I look different but I'm not thin in anyway shape of form - plus she wants me to be able to run 6 miles again so that's the idea in calories. It has to be 1200 minimum calories a day and running three 3-6 mile runs a week. Basically cut the cr@p out my diet and eat real food . More healthy bigger dinners . Apparently I should really notice the difference in my ability with this slight de fill in the amounts I can eat .

They are happy they all think I look lovely but don't need to loose more. Gets me down abit because I want to loose more weight . I don't want to be 11st girl even at my height :-(

 

[Crystalrainbow]

maybe a complete u turn in the career department sounds to me you could train to help others in the food/eating department you have learned to come to terms with your eating disorder maybe that would benefit others and you also it may help to ee yourself in a much better light too x x x x
its my plan to take a weight management course, also life coaching type skills ....... i want to pay it forward, how this has saved my life x x x x

 

[Daphneb]

There's always that book I suggested you write? ;-)

 

[sharon2014]

Well hell broke loose yesterday and I've finally come to terms with the fact I'm ending my career it's having too much of a negative impact on my health and life. I'm miserable . I've never been happy at 31 I should be and I'm still young enough to have a new career... Just need to get thinking first. Feels like a weight off my mind.y decision is made though. Off to hospital now and counselling need it to cope at the mo. I'll pop my weight stats on as soon as I know from my appointment Hope everyone's ok . Feel free to give me some career ideas for a bright bubbly sensitive hard working professional girl , law knowledge and slight rail knowledge .... Any ideas? ;-)

Aw sorry to hear that love!

Well I changed careers from travel/tourism which done great at to Utilities (elec:gas etc) started at bottom and now working within training! I'd say that these companies which are large offer more scope for transfers or progression...ie big company any industry may welcome your law background for likes of compliance matters x

Wish u best of luck xxx another chapter to your life ( or that book )

Xx

 

[BandedHun]

Thanks girls - my moods up and down with it, it's the being scared of the unknown I guess.

Having had the defill ( to talk about weight and diet) oh my god my appetite is back, just taking 0.25ml out ... I can eat slightly faster. No regurgitation, jeez I'm gonna have to work hard with the food and eat right or I'll be a fatty in no time

I've made Tuesday night home made curry and I've nearly finished it all ....

I do feel stuffed now though! That's good though, I've gotta get back into running according to the dietician so tomorrow I'm gonna run 5k and again on Thursday and Saturday too and try get my fitness and strength back now more food can go in.

I've got to keep documenting the food portions too ... So girls if you saw my roast dinner and your managing the same ( small plates and not finishing or nearly finishing then it's not enough) ! (( naughty face )) ... Need to eat more or you will be miserable and fatigued like I was . ( I'm just inside scared I'll put on weight. I guess I should expect it from managing 700 kcal a day to then try get 1200kcal in :-( )

Watching OBESE: a year to save my life .... Such a good show, maybe I should be a life coach ? Write a book! I just wouldn't know how to start ...,???

 

[Daphneb]

You've already started .... Right here! Wasn't it you that said that this forum is better than the books you've read?

 

[BandedHun]

Yes I guess.... ;-)

 

[sharon2014]

Life coach, that could work as you can relate to different experiences xx

p.s...that curry looks amazing...im on day 4 liquids cant wait to plan a meal after lol xx

 

[BandedHun]

Life coach, that could work as you can relate to different experiences xx p.s...that curry looks amazing...im on day 4 liquids cant wait to plan a meal after lol xx

I bet, gosh I hated liquids it's bad enough on Fill days but doing the pre op diet ... Booooo but your doing amazing! Not long sweets!

I've had massive depressed binge day. Hate myself today, having the defill has messed with my head too as I feel I can eat everything and normally do need to wake up tomorrow with better head in the right place and get my running back on with the excessive calories eaten today! ? annoyed with myself (( just can't let this work stuff ruin my health ))

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

I think you would make an excellent life coach! X x

 

[sharon2014]

I bet, gosh I hated liquids it's bad enough on Fill days but doing the pre op diet ... Booooo but your doing amazing! Not long sweets! I've had massive depressed binge day. Hate myself today, having the defill has messed with my head too as I feel I can eat everything and normally do need to wake up tomorrow with better head in the right place and get my running back on with the excessive calories eaten today! ? annoyed with myself (( just can't let this work stuff ruin my health ))

Aw love sorry ur having bad day xxx the running will probably help get u back on the way! I agree try to not let it affect ur health if possible xxx

 

[BandedHun]

Ok so I thought I'd talk about scars and weight loss today.

Attached is a picture of my scars / stomach and the effects of constant YoYo snd weight loss ( please bare in mid I had my DD at 20) excuse the stretch marks but this is my stomach now at 11st12lb and to the top of the picture u will see my port scar, then to the left the main scar. These I think have healed under 5 months amazingly so any pre surgery persons out there looking as to what the scars will heal like etc .... This is 5 months on ( for me ) the heavy one on the left is that I didn't pick it I left a heavy scan there and that's why it's quite big - u cannot see any of the other three scars from the rods for the key hole.these are surgeon El Hassini at THG results ( for anyone interested) I'm very pleased. Bio oil and sun tab helps obvs! ?

I don't know how to tone my stomach up best I am ( when I can be bothered ) doing sit ups and press ups and will try running tomorrow to get my fitness back now I'm eating more ... A lot more.

Tonight's dinner was home made chunky chips with fry light. Chicken breast and salad.... Yum ... Finished it a bar 4 chips! Yummmmm....

So that's it for today

 

[sharon2014]

Hey love!

Yet again that dinner looks amazing lol!!

Your scars are not bad at all, really wouldn't notice them all that much, especially fact only been 5 months! Even stretch marks aren't bad, I need to start proper exercise soon as want to try keep saggy skin to minimum as think be few years before I could afford to fix it! Xx unless I marry a rich man or win the lottery or get a bump in pay lol xxx