BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

[westiedog]

Failure alert.

So I managed just short of 72 hours with no sugars... Gave myself permission to have junk ( one pot ice cream and I've fallen off wagon completely ) since Monday to this morning I dropped the 4lbs of bloatness. Felt thinner in the tummy. Then today.... BLEW IT!

I got up early and tried my new heated rollers out. It went ok but my hair just won't hold in place, I went for a morning coffee as DD had before school club and shops and bank didn't open till 9am so had from 7:45 till 9 am so rather than drive home to go back out I stayed out at Costa, filled in passport applications , read the daily paper. Got to the bank for 9am, wedding dress shopping for a wedding I'm at on Saturday , got two dresses to choose from - see attached. They do not do it justice ( ive decided on black and white one- it's stunning on with slit to leg and curved skirt edge ) keeping the pink for a night out... Maybe one day!

Drs to collect all my meds. Sunbed. Catch up with friends then home in time for OH to wake from nights.... Open door... MOODY lazy mode! Out goes gym coz he's in "failure" mode. And that was that, I've had ice cream, Galaxy creme egg, fresh bread and butter and a kfc tonight. Granted.... I'm making seem like I've ate it all but I haven't and my belly hurts, I've got the runs, I've PBd all evening and my check / throat pain is unreal. Just complete utter disgust ....

Plan of attack -
******************

oWrite in my blog-
oTake make up off -
o whiten teeth whilst watching BBC the truth about sugar ( my heroin!!! ? )
o take sleeping tablets
o get dressed into Gym clothes so after school run and post office to mail passports I'm in the gym for an hour cardio and abs session
o DO NOT BEAT MYSELF UP ABOUT TODAY , tomorrow
o move on and remember how good I felt after nearly 72 hours .....
o drink over two litres of water tomorrow!

If only it were that easy but I'll give it a go ;-)

I love both those dresses particulary the black one ( I need one ) x

 

[Kar8858]

Those dresses are lovely...

The dreaded cycle of bingeing...thats was my life before my sleeve...ice cream, chocolate, doghnuts, pringles, chinese takeaway then throw the lot up because ive over eaten. Its awaful.
I still liove my sugar...i know its different with a sleeve but now i keep in my head protein protein and stick to up to 1000 calories. I have the peach danio yoghurts, lots of protein and also very sweet. I have had a kit kat chunky today to get my fix.
Thankfully ice cream now makes me barf so i avoid it but i use to eat two tubs of hagen daas one after the other!!

I hope you get this sorted out as its really getting you down....

 

[sharon2014]

Hey chickie, chin up A quickie lower fat cheat icecream for you Freeze a banana, blend it Melt a freddo, (or 4 squares of chocolate in the microwave) Pour melted choc over the blended banana, eat with a teaspoon to make it last x x x

Ooh!! Good ideas!!!

Banded both dresses are amazing! You will look fab in both xxx

 

[BandedHun]

The dresses are both gorgeous. Try buying Atkins choc mint bars. They are really filling. No sugar - taste a wee bit like after eight ....and are full of protein and stop the urge to binge You can do this You will do this Xxxxxx

Ohhh I need to try these! Where do I get them babe??? Xxx

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

The chocolate orange pharma whey bars are delish too!

 

[BandedHun]

Yeah had issues with the APp and App Store for 24 hours! What a frigging nightmare.

Wedding was interesting. It was lovely to be dressed up and out with the OH ( we don't do much often as his work and my mindset stops us- ALOT )
We went to a beautiful a la carte restaurant. Safe bet with soup for starters, chicken and creamy mushroom with parsnip and carrots for main and a banana and toffee parfait for desert.
Half soup eaten , about 1/3 of chicken meal and all the desert .... Ish eaten... YUM ;-)

Last night went to my parents for a roast and crumble and managed a half a small plate and a couple of spoons of desert. I'm just really trying to slow it down again and listen to the signs ...


I'm up since 1.20 as in off to a rest and recoup for two weeks now, this morning. Just trying to get everything in order. I'm hoping to use the two weeks to get off the sugar completely , I've been bad all week and I've got that fatty feeling again... But from today I'm hoping to completely sort it out. Getting up and getting on the road by 5:45 ... Urghhhhh....

Anyway I'll have loadsa time to try sort things out in my head and I'll have time ( hopefully Internet too ) to catch up


XXXX

 

[mouse57]

Looking good, and that smile on your face says a lot

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Wowee you look lovely hun x x

 

[kurstywursty]

Looking a-m-a-z-i-n-g

Good luck on your retreat xx

 

[sharon2014]

Hope your getting on Ok and feeling healthier xxx

 

[BandedHun]

Hi girls hardly any internet connection. All good. Dealing with stuff I need to deal with. Hard but worth it.
I'll fill you all in next weekend when I'm home.

But alls good. Thanks for the lovely comments ( I'm working on taking compliments rather than just bating then off and trying to believe in myself )

Speak soon and hope all is well...

Oh tomorrow is my one year surgiversary!!!!! Whoop!!!! Xxx

 

[sharon2014]

Hi girls hardly any internet connection. All good. Dealing with stuff I need to deal with. Hard but worth it. I'll fill you all in next weekend when I'm home. But alls good. Thanks for the lovely comments ( I'm working on taking compliments rather than just bating then off and trying to believe in myself ) Speak soon and hope all is well... Oh tomorrow is my one year surgiversary!!!!! Whoop!!!! Xxx

aww glad your doing ok love!!! Xxx looking forward to hearing how u get on!!

Wow 1 year, unbelievable!!! Despite the troubles you have had, I hope you enjoy this celebration of 1 year!! Xxx

 

[kurstywursty]

Aw banded....great to hear your doing better ...we all care about such a strong woman...can't wait to hear your updates xxx

 

[Nikola]

Good to hear from you xxx

 

[Mrs Q]

Happy surgiversary hunni x

 

[BandedHun]

Today is my 365 days of banded life and I don't know what to say or how I feel. I should go back and read how I felt on the actual day. See how far I've come ( I've managed to find a tiny place in a corner that gets 4G so hence writing ) it's an important day I need to have it in my blog I feel.

Well I'm 10st. So I've put on from 9st 6lbs but I think I'm healthier for it ( not happier brocade I like being 9st 6lbs ... I will try get back to 9st 7-10lbs but for now I'm ok with it.

I wouldn't take it back the band at all. But I would try and deal with it differently . It's effected my health in a sense of my hair is thin and I haven't looked after myself as I should have . I think that also stems when I was larger too. You just don't know how to love and appreciate yourself no matter what size you are. Esp when you have had self esteem and eating disorders all your adult life. It's never gonna be perfect, but, I'm getting there slowly but surely and these two weeks are doing me the world of good.

Fears- I'm petrified of being fat again.

Hopes - I'll live a healthy happy life.

Dreams - to try to find my inner happiness .....

Big hugs everyone

Happy 1st surgiversary to me!!!! Lol


Xxxxxx

 

[BandedHun]

Photos

 

[kurstywursty]

Happy anniversary of your surgery xxx

 

[sharon2014]

Happy surgiversary!! x

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Glad your having a nice time hun you've done truly amazing x x