Depression

[julesburns]

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about your son and hope that he is on the road to recovery. I understand he suffered a terrible side effect of the drug however this is very very rare. I have been taking citilopram now for over 2 years.
i tried 3 other anti depressants prior to this and non suited me. I am very happy with citilopram. I would never take any medication without discussing it with my GP. Citilopram is a prescription medication and cannot be used without prescription, guidance and monitoring. I have to be checked every 3 months, my family are aware of my condition, the drugs and side effects.
It's great that your son confided in you about his depression. So many people hide it from their loved ones. Especially men. I hope that your son makes a speedy recovery and continues with uni. Thanks for your comments and warnings. I think the key is to see your GP. julia Xx

 

[penelope1008]

Thanks Hun, my words of warning were meant as just that to take care be aware & always follow go guidelines so that whatever meds you don't experience what he & we have been through. Not to frighten anyone off as you say with the right meds your life can be so much better.
As for my son we learnt all this after his call from the ward telling us he had been admitted we fell into a nightmare works & still are in it to a certain extent. He returned to his shared house but his friends felt unable to trust or support him, his part time job didn't want him either so he came home & took medical leave from Uni, his meds to keep him on an even keel are so high he's borderline for re-addmission if they stop holding him where he is. He brought into a local business built it up but got shafted by his business partner who resented customers thinking my son was the boss not him, he'd set the business up in such a way that it was tied into his personal finances hence screwing Thomas over royally. He got another job but fact & the applied for job were not the same after a week he'd worked so hard he'd worked himself out of a job, & got given notice effective immediately as the contract wasn't as big as they'd thought but kept on the numpty whose work he'd been doing as well as his own. Now he's home being hounded by the job centre to get a job & no benefit allowance at all. So he's considering trying to start his own business further from home so as not to complete with his ex business partner if he can get grants from the princes trust etc. fingers crossed because if he doesn't find something soon I fear what may happen. He's not well enough to return to Uni although they are converting the 2yrs he did into the highest qualification they can for him.
All I long for now is that things go right for him & he can rebuild his life & find away out of his mental health problems & be able to lower his meds before they fry his brain even more than they have so far the side effects are getting bad for him especially his memory.

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[julesburns]

Penelope I'm so so sorry to hear of the trouble your son has had. Its such a terrible situation to be in. You try to understand what's happening, but unless you've been in that frame of mind it's so hard to understand and I have every sympathy for you (although I know you won't want sympathy).
Your son sounds like he may be in a similar situation to my friend mark was in a few years ago. It was a long process for him but 2 years on and his medication has been severely reduced, he lives a semi normal life with his wife and their daughter. His was triggered by a very stressful period, he was getting married and his wife got pregnant and he just couldn't cope and started having morbid thoughts mixed with depression, panic attacks etc. It got worse to the point that he locked his wife in the house, he thought he'd killed his neighbour. It was all in his mind but He was sectioned for 3 months.
But after a long road to recovery there is light at the end of the tunnel and I hope that you see hope in this, that he is now on a very low dosage, is holding down a steady job, he spends a lot of time with his 2 year old daughter and is happy again.
I wish your son and your family best wishes for a speedy recovery and a bright future. There's nowhere to go but up from now on. Julia xx

 

[penelope1008]

Thanks Julia its good to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel even if it is a long one with the light so far off its almost impossible to see. I'm glad your friend has found the lit end & is rebuilding his health & family again.
I pray that day will be soon for us but accept it may take longer than we would wish. Today I heard a story from him if a friend from Uni who died in a car accident after driving having had just one pint of beer, so this & other things alluded to in the story lead me to believe it wasn't just demons from his childhood that have contributed to his current problems. Does it make me an even worse mother, than I have been to be glad this illness wasn't all my fault. I had severe PMS all his childhood until I had a total hysterectomy at 38 yrs old , (that & I believe postnatal depression that went un-diagnosed by the medical teams & I not admitted by myself,) made me a very nasty person & poor mother in so many ways that all my kids are scared by my behaviour one way or another. I deserved to lose my kids into the social services system because of how I'll I was with this PMS it took the doctors & me so long to find the way to stop this illness in me none of the simpler treatments worked nothing stopped the mad evil me until the surgery then suddenly I was as normal as it was possible to be as screwed up as I was. 8 yrs + on I'm still learning the accepted behaviour patterns of an adult rather than have tantrums like a child, no wonder all my boys have their share of problems.
I pray you're right & someday soon he can be a healthy man again physically & mentally despite me.

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[julesburns]

You cannot blame yourself for his illness. It is an illness. He has a chemical imbalance in the brain. That's all. It's as simple as that. There will always be a trigger. Mine was my friend dying when I was 18. Your son sounds like he had a similar trigger. It makes you worry about death, family, everything. It's not your fault.
In contrast I had a very happy childhood and I still suffer from depression and have done for most of my adult life. Although it wasn't diagnosed until 6 years ago. My last slump 2 years ago led to being medicated again and I'm all the better for it.
My mum blamed herself saying she could have noticed more or done more. But in reality there is nothing she could have done. Because Its an illness. The same as asthma. Sometimes it gets worse and sometimes it's ok but it's kept steady with medication. So Do not blame yourself at all. You've had your own problems so you know how to help him better than most parents do. He will be fine and so will you. Lots of love. Xx

 

[penelope1008]

Thanks your insight is much appreciated, like all mums its natural to blame myself & I was at fault as a mum even if my behaviour didn't cause it I was at fault whether I could help it or not. But your perspective of the triggers etc is comforting to know that its not necessarily my fault.

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[chrisa]

I have just been reading through your posts here and it is all to easy as parents to blame ourselves for our kids problems. I too grew up with my paremts in a happy childhood, when I was 14 my mam had severe depression with the menopausem this lasted for a few years, my hubby had very bad depression when our kids were just in infants school n nursery, I have also had bouts myself, I have taken antidepressants before, my hubby was guna be sectioned , but manage dto pull himself together, however his younest brother some years ago was sectioned and still to this day does not work, when their parents died they made a promise to their ma to look after him. Very difficult he knows how to work the system now and plays on it. I think he is well enough now and has been for a few years to go back to work but when he is due a review he pulls out all the stops, any forms to fill in he gets someone from the dept, to come n fill in his forms, take sall his fridge magnets from his holliday jaunts off the fridge so thta thye don;t see them, daft stuff like that, has tried self harming, so he wears his bandages when they come. He is out bout 10 times a day with his dog, has a 2 bedroom bungalow, paid by the state, has money in the abnk goes on holiday 2 or 3 times a year, makes a mockery of the genuine people like you and our families, I know that a few years back he was realy ill but now its a way of life for him. Whatever happens from here on in ladies we know we are honest and have done as much as we can, when we could, to help ourselves and our loved ones. xx

 

[penelope1008]

As ever the voice of reason & common sense Chrisa thanks for sharing & making me see sense despite my ramblings.

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