Feel a Fraud

[Big an Bouncy]

When I went to see the surgeon last week there were four other people,who where all 25st+,two were on sticks,one in a wheelchair. I was the smallest and felt they were looking at me as if I was in the wrong place.They of course dont know my medical/sugical needs,but I felt quite awkward when asking questions etc.Do you think Im being paranoid? Maz x

 

[angie790]

Possibly just a little, but I totally understand where you are coming from. Look at it this way, there is no way you would have been put forward for sugery, or had funding agreed if the experts didn't consider you would benefit greatly from the op. These other patients on the face of it may have looked in a worse 'physical' shape than you currently do, but they may not have gone down this route until very recently, so that's not your fault. Plus, who's to say you wouldn't end up in the same or worse physical shape without the surgery? Keep your head up high & remember, you have every right to this surgery as much as they do xxx

 

[yorkiegal]

I felt the same and said so to my surgeon. He said he'd much rather operate on someone like me where he can prevent me developing health problems in the future, rather than see me 5 years down the line when I'm heavier and less mobile.

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Thanks girls helps me put it in perspective,especially when you said about preventing health problems in the future.Maz x

 

[dottychic]

I was one of the biggest at my pre-op meetings and I looked at other smaller people and thought they didnt look too bad, after thinking about it a little more though I thought back to myself say 5 stone ago and how I felt and realised I would have killed a cuddy animal to get surgery at that stage! I wish Id have had the chance then and wouldnt begrudge anyone else the chance of this lifeline. Also, just because you can see a problem doesnt mean it isnt there You deserve your surgery as much as the next person hun XX

 

[newcy]

Hi, I totally understand how you feel. At the introductory seminar, for the first time in my life I was the smallest person in the room (except the surgeon etc - obviously). I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging whether I should be there. But no one else knows our reasons and health issues, all you can do is trust that you're doing what is best for you and the surgeon wouldn't allow it if you didn't deserve it. Good luck with your journey x
?

:grouphugg:

 

[penguina]

I know exactly how you feel, but I always self doubt everything.

When I hit 18 stone I felt so bad - physically - I couldn't see myself living beyond my early 50's. I already felt like an old woman at 45.

Many above have put it very well, especially Angie who always 'talks' sense. We wouldn't have been put though, if they didn't think it was a good way forward. Maybe the way forward is to catch us earlier...

 

[dawny]

when i went to my seminar, i too was the smallest one there, i 'only' needed to lose 5 stone, i also felt as though everyone was looking at me, and felt that some were actually judging me, even though i was sat in my wheelchair, but like someone said, we dont know what other issues ppl have, normally i wouldnt have got funding, but i desperately need major spinal surgery, and needed to lose weight to have it, hence a bypass. we all get funding on our own merits, and the fact that we get it, means we need it. so dont think your being a fraud maz huni, you need this as much as anybody does. big hugs huni, and i hope you get your date soon. xxx

 

[BlueDiamond]

I agree with others , I was the smallest person on the day of my op as well, even though I wasnt in a wheel chair or on crutches I still had quite a few comorbidities and other health issues, ppl shouldnt really judge a book by its cover. Dont feel a fraud, coz u wouldnt have been given the op if u didnt fit the criteria xxxx

 

[Rebirth]

I agree with everything the others have said before me Maz. You deserve to have the op as much anyone else. The PCTs are holding more tightly to their money, so, you certainly wouldn't have got funding if they didn't think you would benefit greatly from it. I am thankful that I was given the chance to change my life when I was. If I had waited a few months later I think I wouldn't have been so fortunate. I hope that it will help with your other health problems.

 

[sugga]

I agree with all of the above Maz...you need and deserve wls the doctors and surgeons know what is best for all of us.
It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks, i think everyone should be on a site like this as its a great eye opener. xxx

 

[yorkiegal]

It always makes me laugh when I go to an out patients appointment at the hospital. My consultant does all types of gastro surgery so it's not just bypassers sat in the waiting room. But you can see all the large people checking each other out and sharing a nervous smile so it's easy to see which of us are the pre wls contingent. I've generally been the largest one there too, which surprised me as I've only just squeezed in with my bmi of 50.

 

[novamay]

I wasn't the smallest at my group seminar, but then I wasn't the biggest either (for once!).

To be honest, right now I would give my eye teeth to be under 20st (I'm currently 22.12) or 'only to have 5 stones' to lose. But even then I'd still be classed as morbidly obese and at risk of complications because of being that weight. I look back when I was under 20st and at that time I couldn't imagine being any heavier - I thought I would be able to do something before it got too far out of hand - but that's easier said than done and before you know it you've put on another couple of stones. So I don't begrudge the surgery to anyone who feels they cannot lose weight without it; or anyone who feels like a second class citizen because of their size/shape/appearance or who is rendered immobile or in pain. If I could afford it I would pay for us all to have the surgery tomorrow!

 

[TessG]

I was one of the smaller ones too. I have to say that I use this to help me on bad days when my weight isn't moving. I think about how even if my weight isn't falling off, at least it isn't going up. I won't ever be in the condition that some of those poor people were in.

 

[newcy]

I'm with you novamay, if I won the lottery the first thing I'd do is book my surgery and then spend a few months on holiday somewhere fab recoverying. I'll take as many of you with me that my winnings will allow.

None of us are considering surgery because we think its the easy option but I'm sure we can all remember a time thinking we can't get any bigger and yet here we. I remember the 1st time I put on a size 18 and saying this is it, I can't possibly get any bigger. Then having to diet for my wedding and being grateful to be able to squeeze back into a size 18 on the big day. Now, (2 babies later) I can barely squeeze into a size 22. I feel like a 2nd class citizen every day - on the school yard, when out with my husband and I don't want to live like this anymore. BUT I've tried every diet known to man and only ever ended up bigger within months of stopping the diet so I don't think I have any other option but surgery. See you in line for a lottery ticket x

 

[samsmum]

Same here. When I was in hospital just after the surgery I was told directly that I should not have had the op and it was a waste of money. What they did not see was that I had lost 3st between being refered and the op and I went on to loose another 7st 5lbs!

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

well, someone had to be the biggest and someone had to be the smallest, it was just your turn to be the smallest on that day.

 

[happyhilary]

Hi, dont feel bad ! think of it this way you have taken the right steps to put things right . when i went last month i was told by two woman (one rather loudly!) thats i didn't need surgery. Another asked when i had mine done ?! but i was sitting next to a woman who was around my size (20) and we both said we knew we would only get bigger so its better we are here now. I hope that may mean i dont have such a loose skin issue but we never know ! you know you are doing the right thing so chin up !

 

[Katkit1]

I know I would`nt qualify for surgery on the nhs. Like Dawn I only had 5 stone to lose; I probably would have carried on getting bigger and bigger and eventually heart disease would have seen me off as well as my weight.

I decided to go private (not the easy option) as its going to take me 3+half years to pay back at extortionate interest rates.
But I needed the surgery for all my other health problems and it was the only way I knew I would be able to have a healthier and happier future.

I would have gone for the bypass, as I have a sweet tooth, but it was too much out of my reach financially.
So I am trying to make the best of my gastric band; and although its a slower process for me, I`m sticking with it as I know the rewards will be worth it at the end!

Whatever reasons we have for this surgery Maz - we all have the the right reasons for being there, however large or small we look, we all deserve a better healthier future!




Take care hun x




Love Kat x

 

[dawny]

i agree kat, we all do deserve a better future, its a shame that you wouldnt have qualified for a bypass, but like you say, you will get there even if its a bit slower, and hopefully youll have lost it all by the time youve paid off your loan. like me your only dinky, and 5 stone on us is like 8 plus on someone of average height and above, its taken me a bit longer to lose mine than most ppl, but its been slow n steady, which is what you will probably find kat, and its worth it in the end. big hugs to everyone, we do all deserve this chance, and your NOT a fraud maz. xxx