i know this might sound stupid but, i have been thinking about it seriously, yes at first i was i can do this, but i think the real reason im saying no is that i am terrified that as i have been giving a second chance to live, am i wrong to maybe push my luck, i know the death rate is 1 in 200. but after what i have been through am i going to be that 200 that dies, im so mixed up what to do , and also i dont think i can make the journey to luton as it was on that bit of road we had the crash ... oh i really dont know what to do im so confussed.. i was so determined to have the surgery ,as i have tried every diet in the book to lose weight, and maybe i am just kidding myself thinking i can do this on my own. sorry if i sound stupid .....