Holiday booked 9 wks post op with friends who don't know!

[triedeverything]

I've just had my surgery date of 21st May. About 9 weeks later we are going on a family holiday with 2 other families, all sharing a large villa! There will be nowhere to hide regarding meals/drinks etc.

Can anyone advise (who has had Sleeve surgery) what stage I will be at with my eating and whether I will be realistically able to keep this secret from them? One of my friends will be supportive but the other suffers from long term weight problems herself and I think will be less so but I'm not sure?

I was kinda hoping to just say I was cutting down on eating but if this going to be unrealistic, please advise! thanks so much.

 

[tealovingsleever]

You'll be on 'normal' food but your portions will be tiny like a chicken wing size. If you are living with people you might find it easier just to spill.

I went on holiday 7 weeks post op and it was a disaster food wise, wish I hadn't. I threw up a lot. I stayed in a villa but my OH and friend knew so it was fine.

 

[shelleymarie]

I think you are going to have to tell, I'm not sure about the sleeve but 9 weeks post op for me was still a rough time (bypass). I had just started to manage to keep some food down but was still on anti sickness medication. I barely managed 400 calories a day at that point. That would have been very difficult to hide, people would think you had a eating disorder. You might find your friends are more understanding that you think, I haven't had any negativity at all but maybe I'm just lucky. If you are going some where hot remember hydration is essential post op but even more so if it's warm. I hope you have a lovely time, maybe tell them now so you don't have to worry about it. Lots of luck x

 

[triedeverything]

Thank you for your honest answers. Hmm I need to do some thinking then. We will be 3 couples and all our children. I wasn't even planning on telling my girls (aged 13 and 10) as my husband was keen not to worry them. I suppose I really will need to think about this and who I should tell and try to cause the least amount of concern possible, particularly for my girls who will be extremely anxious about this.

I am indeed going to Portugal so it will be very hot by then. I'm getting a little worried about this now! Yikes. How to explain things is just not easy as I really don't think others will understand as much as I'd hoped. One of my friends who has the weight problem and is coming on this holiday too, is one of the most gossipy women on the planet and works at a hairdressers and knows nearly everyone in the town we live in. Before I know it she will have made my personal life very public indeed, she just can't stop herself and this will be particularly 'juicy' gossip for her. I really wish I could ask her to respect my privacy on this one but I just know she won't be able to hold her tongue... so it's all getting complicated now. damn.

 

[triedeverything]

Actually now I'm getting really worried. I'm a singer in a band and my surgeon advised to take 4 weeks off from gigging. I play in a covers band so we perform for 2.5 hours and I sing lead vocals for the whole time. It's hard work!

Mr Somers reckoned I would definitely need to rest 4 weeks before gigging again, possibly 6 weeks. Do you think that's unrealistic from what you have said about recovery? It's the Sleeve recovery I'm particularly interested in.

Would really appreciate your advice on this as I'm going through the band diary at the moment and have only cancelled gigs for June. Was fully intending to be back to it for July onwards!
Thanks again.

 

[tealovingsleever]

I have no idea about singing post op. I'm a lawyer behind a desk, apart from the commute its easy! If you're needing to be energetic for 2.5 hours you may struggle.

If you eat with your girls how will they not notice?! I'm 9 months post op and can't do kids portions yet. It's very noticeable even now.

 

[tealovingsleever]

I would plan to take 6 weeks off if you can just go be sure.

 

[triedeverything]

Well I suppose performing a gig is like going to the gym for 2 hours but drinking alcohol at the same time When did you feel ready to resume exercise as that will be an indicator for me?

As for my kids, I reckon I will have to tell them but I just don't know when to break it to them, they absolutely hate change and they will find it very difficult to understand why I am doing this. No matter how I put it, they will not like it I just know it. If I tell them before the surgery, they will make me feel so bad I will probably cancel it. If I leave it to afterwards then I can explain it to them then I suppose, as you say it will be pretty obvious at mealtimes.

 

[Samsara]

The only thing I can think of that you could say is that you've had some sort of (non-contagious) tummy upset that comes on just before you go away and it's affecting how you eat. That would explain away some unusual eating (for you) and the potential vomiting? x

 

[tealovingsleever]

Exercise? I did 30-60 mins walking a day from week 2 but that's hardly high impact. I started Zumba in December but that's 5 months post op lol. Someone else might be more help with exercise.

 

[triedeverything]

Vomiting.. I just absolutely hate the thought of vomiting, I rarely if ever do it and it makes me cry like a baby. Please please don't make me vom. ::cry:

 

[tealovingsleever]

It's not like normal vomiting as the food comes up as it went down.

 

[shelleymarie]

Unfortunately most people vomit at some point post surgery although I have found it different from pre op. It tends to be more a rejection than proper vomit. Some people are very sick post surgery and some aren't at all. So you might be one of the second half of people. I took 8 weeks off work as I have some very physical parts to it like lifting 10kg bags but most people can go back after 2 weeks if it's not phyisical, non stressful work but always follow your surgeons advice.

I can understand about your friends, maybe there is a way you can fake a bug or something but your kids aren't going to buy that long term. I totally understand not wanting to tell them before the op as it is a big worry but once you are ok you might have to or they might think eating that little is healthy long term which unless you've had surgery it absolutely isn't x

 

[Angela1310]

I had my sleeve done in January. Had absolutely no reflux, no pains and no sickness. Thankfully we are all different, I had prepared myself for horrendous pain and even cried over the thought of being sick!
It is looking like I am going to be able to eat anything. Obviously very small portions but I have found those small portions are enough.
If your experience is anything like mine you will wonder why you worried yourself. There are others who have not had an easy ride. Here is hoping yours is plain sailing. Just make sure you prepare yourself

 

[mywishes]

woah lady!!!

your children wont like it! i appreciate this will change things but the one who has to deal with it all is you. you obviously want this as you would not be taking these steps but remember why you are doing it and by changing yourself physically and it will no doubtly will change you emotionally it will all be for the better i,m sure. so whilst you may tread on a few toes stand proud and you dont need to make excuses for having the guts to do this. would it be so bad if people knew what you had done. its not a dirty or shameful thing. just a tool to help you not make you feel you have done something wrong. sorry to sound bullish but you say the things i once said but since i,ve started this journey i find this experience empowering!!! good luck

 

[mywishes]

sorryx

you have the same date as me for surgery. where will you be having this done. will look out for you on this site to see how you get on. good luck.

 

[triedeverything]

My surgery is being done in Portsmouth at Queen Alexandra Hospital. 2 nights stay and then home. Here's hoping for a smooth ride for us both! Would be great to buddy up if you want to, especially as we are being done the same day. Happy to share support.

 

[borogirl]

Hi I am nearly 6 weeks post op. people will know you have had something done if you are with them on holiday as your eating habits will be so different. I agree with an earlier post, you have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide. I told my 11 and 5 year old and they took it in their stride. My eldest was with me last year when I was talking to a woman who was post op. he didn't want me to get as skinny as she was and I told him I wouldn't! (Couldn't really!) but I said I needed help to loose weight do was having an operation to help me and it will be nice when i could go bike riding etc with him. And he hasn't been bothered at all. Everyone has been so supportive, family, friends and strangers!

 

[JoJoTGirl]

I'm a sleever as you know - 11 weeks post op now and I haven't had any nausea, reflux or vomitting since leaving hospital. As well as being lucky, I think I've helped myself by following all the rules religously.

I started back on solid food at the 4 week post op stage and can now eat almost anything but pasta and bread (toast is ok) but I eat in teeny, tiny portions and that attracts a whole lot of attention when eating in other peoples company.

I explained to the kids with scant details that I was having an op and why (to help me lose weight and get healthier) and that their Dad would be looking after me for a couple of days and Granny would be staying to have an adventure with them. My kids visited me in hospital once the main tube was out and I was careful to look as good as possible (bit of slap and a false smile!) and get up and go for a walk with them etc to reassure them I was fine.

My six year old (youngest) now sometimes forgets the situation and loudly points out that I'm not eating much. A gentle reminder of why and she is good as gold again. She did find the two weeks during which my mother in law stayed to help hard going and missed Mummy's ways of doing everything but she was fine once she went home again and that's a dim and distant memory now.

They now ove the the fact that I'm now nearly 5st down and willing to go swimming / bike riding etc etc and see the whole experience as very positive. I have always been honest with my kids in that I have a problem with food, teaching them to stop eating when full and to eat healthily most of the time with occasional treats as its not good for your body to be overweight.

Regarding telling other people. I would say that at 9 weeks out and living in close proximity / eating together, it will be impossible to conceal! Youw ill have to choose high protein foods and avoid all high fat, high sugar foods. I eat in tiny portions which to be honest, must seem ridiculous if you haven't had WLS / know I've had WLS. I'm absolutely no comfortable with fibbing.....they always come back and bite you on the bum surely??? and besides, what on earth would you say to explain away that!? I have told all my close friends and all of my family in order to avoid awkwardness. Everyone has been amazingly supportive (barring my husbands older brother) who is a health freak, vegan, cycling mad weirdo to be honest so his opinion is about as important to me as the cats! lol Even he hasn't been out and out unsupportive but his tight lipped demeanour says it all for him!

Re excersize, I was told to walk, walk and walk some more to build up stamina etc immediately post op and was cleared for proper excersize at my 6 week follow up. I am now cycling, swimming and gyming (although a mean old personal trainer all but killed me last week!) Most online info seems to say 6 weeks too.

Sorry to have gone on but hope I've been helpful. Jo x

 

[JoJoTGirl]

I'm fairly close by in Eastern Southampton by the way and have met with a support group in Whitely if your interested!? x