How do I tell people?

[LuLuXo]

Hi guys, hope you are all well... I'm due to have my band in during January and stressing out about how to tell people. So far only my mum knows. I don't really want to tell my sister but I feel like I need to because I think she would be hurt if she found up I had been banded and not told her.... How did any of you go about telling loved ones/explaining weight loss?? Panicking!! Grateful for any advice.


Lu x

 

[incognito_46]

I had a sleeve on 23rd September. Decided I was going to tell people that due to strictly being back I had taken up ball room dancing. I would just tell her hon. People that I work with are too judgemental which is why I concocted this story lol

 

[LuLuXo]

Why don't you want to tell your sister? Also, might your mother tell her anyway?

I dont know, i think that she will tell me im being silly "why dont you just go on a diet?? or eat healthy??" or perhaps that she will be worried and think that being banded is more dangerous than it is. I also have a slight feeling that she may be jealous (when the weight starts coming off) we are both big, but she has always been smaller than me, and i dont think she realises it herself, but i think she enjoys the fact that whenever shes around me she doesnt have to worry about being the "fattest" haha. I dont know.. just feel awkward. Also think she might try and talk me/ my mum (who is paying for it) out of doing it. My mum would never tell her, she said whatever i want to do and who i want to tell is my own business!
xx

 

[LuLuXo]

I had a sleeve on 23rd September. Decided I was going to tell people that due to strictly being back I had taken up ball room dancing. I would just tell her hon. People that I work with are too judgemental which is why I concocted this story lol

what a brilliant story haha! I think i plan on just telling uni friends and so on that ive put myself on a strict gym/food regime... (technically its true...right??)



x

 

[emmten]

You know your sister best. I can understand why you are worried, a few weeks ago I told my mother and sister I was considering WLS. In both cases, their reactions were as I expected. From my sister, how disgusting, you're not serious are you, why would you want to mutilate yourself. My mother also against, but said you're an adult, can make your own decisions. She also wanted me to try another diet. Even expecting a bad reaction, I do think you have to tell nearest and dearest. Anyone else is a matter of judgement.

 

[pongis]

I haven't told many people as some if my uni friends are far too judgemental! If they ask how I've lost weight I just say eating smaller, healthier portions, no lie!! I want to tell people but at uni a few weeks ago when feeling the water I got into a big argument with fellow students ( I'm a student nurse) as they were going down the all familiar 'WLS on NHS taking money from cancer patients' route! Seriously, as student nurses you'd think they'd be better informed! Lol
So no way am I telling them, not putting myself through all that!

 

[gonnabethinner]

Know how you feel. Have told hubby and 2 sons and best friend. No one else work have a downer on a lady whoose having a bypass on nhs. The way they talked about her was awful. Tried to stick up for her but to no avail. Feel guilty as two close friends are over weight and feel bad about not telling. But know they would tell not to be mean but just in.conversation. I think.its your judgement who you tell. People think you are taking the easy way out almost cheating. My best friend surprised me thought she would be ok. She said this will give me the incentive to diet seriously can't have you being thinner than me. She's a size 14 and I am a 20.plus!

 

[pongis]

Yeah I've one friend who's really jealous as she's about same size as me, started saying I couldn't be her friend anymore cos I'd be smaller than her! Ridiculous!

 

[Tobi]

I told close family and close friends. You know your family best so I can't really comment on who you should tell or not But what I wanted to say was, you don't have to tell anyone if you didn't want to. It's not that you'll be losing weight miraculously without doing anything. The band is just a tool to help you. You'll still need to diet and exercise. People around you will notice you're dieting and exercising and that's why you'll be losing weight. X

 

[BlueDiamond]

I only told my family and one friend that knew me b4 wls ( shes had wls 2) I not even told me closest friend for 15 years, as I say its on a need to know basis and some ppl dont need to know. all the best BD x

 

[LuLuXo]

its totally crazy how people get so jealous when they should be happy for you?? i was talking to my mum about it and she told me theres a saying: "Everyone likes to have a fat friend" which i have to say, i think is true. oh well, girls, forget about all of them... we have each other to support!

x

 

[Mubby]

I agree this is a on my mind also, I know that certain in laws will be very judgemental!

 

[rickysmrs]

I personnaly spoke to my hubby and teenage children 1st before applying they all think it will be more benefical to my health so full backing from them. My neighbour and good friend asked me if I was going to re-consider wls and she put the seed there to start the ball rolling again. But can you believe she is the one thats now being funny with me now its all going ahead..............she basically said my mums alot bigger than you!! how comeyou get the help etc etc. So I said Ohh didnt know ur mum was interested in wls how fantastic so what has she done to get any help?? the answer ------ nothing!!!! pmsl I just said well she needs to show gp's what diets etc she has tried then the gp may refer her to a dietitian or try medical options all of which I have done for the past 4 yrs!!!!! so read it and weep I wonder why she not talking to me atm lol.

 

[JoeH]

Telling people or not telling people shouldn't be an issue. It's a stressful time for the patient at the best of times.

Of course questions will be asked once noticable weight loss occurs. If like me you're not fussed who knows about WLS, then say it loud and proud. But if you wish to remain private, then really it's none of their business. Just say 'healthy eating' and show them something you'd eat.

 

[pongis]

Haha! Well said!

 

[LuLuXo]

But can you believe she is the one thats now being funny with me now its all going ahead..............she basically said my mums alot bigger than you!! how comeyou get the help etc etc. So I said Ohh didnt know ur mum was interested in wls how fantastic so what has she done to get any help?? the answer ------ nothing!!!! pmsl I just said well she needs to show gp's what diets etc she has tried then the gp may refer her to a dietitian or try medical options all of which I have done for the past 4 yrs!!!!! so read it and weep I wonder why she not talking to me atm lol.

Lol...she sounds like a mate you dont need to be fair. I dont know why people always like being around those less foruntate then themselves? its really worrying! I suppose at times like this you will start to learn who ur real friends are!!

xx

 

[ThinnerJemima]

Unless she absolutely never sees you getting changed for a night out, or your top goes up slightly when taking a jumper off she'll see your scars at some point.

I know what you mean about her talking your Mum out of not paying for it. Sounds like your Mum (quite rightly) treats you as the independent people that you are!

Don't stress on it and tell her the night before or the night after your op. If you have to tell her at all.

It's your body, your choices and your life

 

[Slimmingnix]

I totally understand. I am proud of the decision I have made to improve my health and life, and I do not want to hide that I have had surgery, but there are a couple of people I am not looking forward to telling because of the likely questions: why? why dont you try exercise or diet? Do you know how risky it is?

Either way, I rather face the uncomfortable questions now, than mislead them - because it will come out eventually!

Good luck with whichever decision you make about who to tell.

SNx

 

[Yvessa]

I told everyone. I only regret telling one person and hats my mum. But telling her wasn't optional sadly. The support I've had is incredible and it givese the opportunity to change false perceptions about wls.

 

[mrsdiddles]

tell who you feel comfortable with i was embarressed at first about having it because i thought people would be judgemental but i tell any one now im not bothered as its improved my life so much. my family have been so supportive and could not have done it with out there support. good luck on your decision x