sad and dissapointed

[lyturt]

I too didn't tell people before my bypass. I didn't want them feeling me I was fine as I was and relaying horror stories. I sympathize with you and hope you show them that you can use your chance to be hinterland healthier to overcome this upset. I don't think people realise that we need to protect ourselves from being the object of people's chatter because this our own private battle with our demons and we need to feel comfortable with ourselves before allowing anyone else in. I hope all goes well for you

 

[Yvessa]

Now while I'm a no proponent of telling everyone i agree - your boss had no right and you shouldn't have had to specify that you didn't want it mentioned. In the early days I actually didn't think I was going to tell people other than my boss and she kept it completely confidential. I would at the very least ask her if and why she's told people and explain how upset you are. With the family - unfortunately I know if I tell my mum something everyone will know. So I didn't tell her until I was ready. You will get through this and it may help to say you just weren't ready to talk about it because you were worried about the op. that'll shut the gossips up.

 

[moomoo1]

personally I never see the point in being secretive especially with bypass because everyone I know who has had one has dropped so much weight so quickly its completely obvious and people would have been gossiping about you at least they know the truth plus if you have any complucations whilst at work at least people know. that said betraying trust is not a nice thing and it cant have been easy and sorry you went thru that

 

[rudders]

Well I've never had my bypass compared to HIV or gonorrhoea!!
Lol

 

[lyzzyanne]

Well I've never had my bypass compared to HIV or gonorrhoea!!
Lol

Well..... you know what I mean!!!people seem to think they can judge us on the decision to have the op!!!!

 

[mr97]

I really feel for you as I'm someone who kept very quite about my surgery.
Did your boss reveal the nature of your op? Even saying you are having surgery is way more info anyone needs to know regarding arranging cover!
If she has revealed specifics then there no excuse for this at all - if this is the case its utterly malicious.

Hopefully, if the content of the email focused on dates you need cover and not dwelling on the whys and wherefores, people may just skim read and note the dates. Most people will give it no more thought than someone is going into hospital, will be off from....
On a positive note, I found losing weight helped me to gain confidence, selfworth and become more assertive. I no longer put up with rude or bossy people. ...This seems to be a common place 'added bonus' of wls.
I really hope your concerns are unfounded and I wish you many 'added bonuses' on your wls journey.

 

[Red Sile]

This is a massive breach of your confidentiality I would be going straight to HR to complain. I decided not to be open in work about my recent surgery for a number of reasons staff are already gossiped about and I would not have felt safe or supported Sad eh ......
My family know and are giving me all the support I need .

 

[lornipops]

That is so awful, i have so much sympathy for you. i really hate to see it when others spoil something. I hope you have managed to have a word with your boss, it really is no one else's business!
I have only told a few people, close family and some chosen friends. I dont want the whole word to know about it until it has happened and i can show my sylthe like frame! I cant wait for the reaction Tbh.

 

[Bookie]

I think your attitude "no point in crying over spilt milk" is the right one to have. you didn't want people to know but now they do anyway, so maybe the best thing to do is just to embrace it. If you can't make it, fake it, brazen it out and turn that negative into a big positive. you never know, you might even find that a lot of people are more supportive than you feared.

I have been really surprised on the positive feedback I have had on my op, I haven't yelled it from the rooftops but I haven't hidden it either and let people ask questions if they so wished.

Wishing she hadn't done isn't going to change the past, as you rightly say, so might as well make the most of a bad situation and go "TA-DAH!"

 

[Beegee]

Actually, after all that its been quite a good result. My boss apologised and said she didn't realise what she was doing because she didn't understand my issues with it. So we sat down and I talked to her about how I felt. It was better than paying for a therapist. I started my pre-op diet this morning... and she has decided to join me, so that she can feel empathy for my situation. So in fact not a bad person at all...

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Beegee, so glad you've been able to turn it round. Where are you having your op hun? xx

 

[Beegee]

I am in St Anthonys in Cheam..its an NHS op being performed at a private hospital... its the same one that the celebrity psychic Sally Morgan went too.

 

[carrieb]

I was done there 10 weeks ago - it's a very good hospital, very peaceful. sure you'll be fine x

 

[joisslimmer]

I would withdraw my annual leave and take sick leave. You are entitled to sick leave and only chose to use holiday to save disclosing to others, your GP will sign you off and save your holiday since everyone now knows!!

 

[Beegee]

I was done there 10 weeks ago - it's a very good hospital, very peaceful. sure you'll be fine x

blimey you have lost 58 in 10 weeks? I can only dream... good to know its a good hospital. I am really looking forward to it now. Been a bit wobbly but now full steam ahead, pass me another low fat yoghurt.

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

I am in St Anthonys in Cheam..its an NHS op being performed at a private hospital... its the same one that the celebrity psychic Sally Morgan went too.

Indeed. I had mine done there. It's a super hospital and the nurses were lovely. Felt like I'd been on a major surgery mini-break. X

 

[Bluedawny]

Sick note

Hi I agree with Joisslimmer

You get your sick note to say abdominal surgery and take it off as sick leave!
That will serve your boss right as she will have to arrange another 2 weeks cover when you decide to take your well earned leave! The new slimmer you!!

To be honest with you - in a work place as soon as you start losing large amounts of weight all the jealousy starts and the whispering! So if you are up front they have no-where to go with the whispering!

I work in a large place and know people who have had surgery and told everyone also know people who have not told anyone!! (Working in OH I get told) but unlike your boss we respect peoples confidentiality and would be more than my job is worth to even comment!

As you already said what done is done and you will find that people are too wrapped up in their own world to even think twice about it! Anyone that is "*****y" about it just smile and say how wonderful you feel! Knowing they are jealous that you have taken control of YOUR life! and it must be showing!! Xxxxxxx

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

My fit note for the couple of weeks I had off after my bypass just said post-operative.

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

its the same one that the celebrity psychic Sally Morgan went too.

BTW - I had the same surgeon as Sally

 

[niic0l3]

Hi Beegee am glad it all work out for the better in the end. Am due to have mine band done the only people who knows was my mum my partner and my best friend who had the band done 2 year ago. My mum then told my brothers I was so embarrassed as they don't have weight issues they live and breath the gym but to my surprises they was so supportive for me and was happy for me. This then give me a boost and I wanted to tell people thinking that ever one will be the same I the told my partner parents as I was close with them but to my surprises there option was so different. His dad has asked me if I was mad and told me it would me cheap to glue my mouth close and his mum said you should not mess with you body when you don't need to and told me to go on a diet. I didn't know what to think I was so embarrassed so a few week later I told them am not having it done and they said it's the best thing then since then I spoken to my family they told my it's nothing to be embarrassed over and you should not have to hide from no one my friend and some more that know now said the same my partner was discussed in his mum and dad reaction and told me not to be embarrass so I decided on Monday to tell his mum yes I am having it done next month she was so shocked now ever time I see her she keeps ask me if am sure it not good for you she keeps say. I don't know how to make them see it not a bad think any ideas ???

However I haven't told any one from work beside my manger they all now I am having an op but don't now what for I desired the own people I wanted to know was the people I was close to or need to know.