I told some of the family..

[Deets]

So i mentioned to some family members that i was going to have surgery to help me be rid of the fat suit i wear everyday.

My uncle, who is a good fella, piped up with...'why dont you try to diet instead' Jeez, why didnt i think of that! He didnt mean it horribly, he was just being a prat

So my mum and brother were ok with it. My aunties both flew into rants of sheer panic at the thought of me having any kind of surgery. I did have to listen to them for over an hour talking to me about the dangers of surgery - they know someone who died from wls, i should just try harder blah blah. I mean i love them to bits, but they really annoyed me

Yes i could try harder, but i just dont have it in me to do this. Does this make me a failure? More than likely yes! BUT, there is something out there that could help me, help me change the life ive grown to tolerate. I dont want to tolerate life anymore, i want to live it.

I'll be honest, im absolutely sh*tting myself about the op, it keeps me awake at night. I want to write a will before im operated on (dramatic i know, but i really am frightened). My auntie put it this way, do i want to be fat and alive, or thin and dead - and i just cant get that thought out of my head argh!

Now ive got the money come through, I still dont know who to have the sleeve with (im going private). My head hurts!

Ok, i feel better now ive written that down

 

[Wendy1]

You do what is best for you, we are all frightend before surgery. Look up all your surgeons on the net and go with the one who you think is right, someone who lives in your area will come on and give you advice. I wish you all the luck in the world love Wendy x

 

[cherry]

Hey sweets, yousound so very much like me.... i to am paranoid im going to die as most people on here know, my brother kindly told me id die to!!!! and some family memebr shvae been supportive and well my mum she just says what ever mind frame she s in, sometimes its good, sometimes, its bad! you ll never win with family sweets, best thing is to do what you did and grin and smile and just ride it through till they ve finshed there rant......

i think you have to just bite the bullet and make that appointment, you ve got your money, you know you want it and its the right thing to do, so take each day day by day, you can change your mind right up till the anthestic is given or brought out should i say, you dont want to live a life full or regrets and what ifs! you ve said your self you need this op, so i think this is the right thing for you, make that appointment babes! id be on the phone now haha i wish you well and good luck!

your gonna be just fine xxxxxxxx

 

[Bev]

I think we have to have felt the inner despair to appreciate just how we all feel to be putting ourselves through surgery... we've all hit rock bottom or are going through the lows that we know to have come to our decision.

It's now days before surgery and I'll be glad to get it done and get the first month over with... thank goodness... I'm not going to be a 'food slave' for much longer...

My relatives and friends are panicking more than me and I keep having to reassure them and I'm finding they are all turning to me for support... haha... I think it's with being older and the mumsie figure... but we are going to be fine and if the surgeon thought you were at great risk they wouldn't do it.

Try and look ahead and think of the summer and those lovely light clothes, the colours and the blue skies... think of nice things Angels... we are going to be fine and there are many on here to prove it...

Love you all and surgery has never been so safe as it is today and I never think I'm the one it won't work for... I say to myself.... ''Go for It!''.

xxx

 

[DaisyMaesy]

Now I know that I am doing the right thing in not telling anyone. Unless you have been there you don't understand after all it is the easy way out isn't it? Not!
Deets, just remember if the WLS killed you during surgery you would still die fat not thin but at least you would have given yourself a chance. We are all giving ourselves the chance to die thin a lot longer after we would die fat! (not put this very well but I hope you see what I mean)

 

[DietingDeb]

Ok so I am a pretty blunt person and really I don't make any appologise for that but say you don't have the surgery how long before you have a heart attack or stroke cox of the extra pressure put on your organs or end up diabetic or with joints that bad from carrying all the extra weight you become housebound oh and by that point the doctors will look at replacing your joints which is a much more invasive processors. This operation is a gift and that is something everyone should remember.

You can die crossing the road as well as on the operating table the only difference is on the operating table they are specialists who do this everyday. Look on line find out all you need to know and ask your surgeon.

Fear in life is so much better than sitting back and waiting to die, I told my family and it was a case of this is what is happening you can either support me or keep away - negativity will not help you at all so keep away from those who don't support you.

Just remember this I know 3 people who have won the lottery but I'm still not banking on winning, this is my winning ticket as it is yours - good look and here's to a very happy life for you x x x

 

[Deets]

aww thanks guys And i welcome no bulls**t replies too!! *gets a grip*

And yes you are all right...im still scared though haha

Going to spend some time researching surgeons/providers. Ive got a couple in mind. Would be grateful to hear any recommendations though!

*group hug* and thanks x

 

[Bev]

You're welcome and we are all on this journey through hell and high water together... so just keep hanging on and sharing... xxx

 

[angie790]

Well done on telling you family, I know many of us tell very few people if any! You were bound to get those comments though...obesity is a complex condition and poorly understood by the majority of people. I would imagine their comments were from concern and love, but to be blunt, just ignore them at the minute. In time, once you've had your op, these comments will become more positive and eventually (hopefully) full of pride at how well you have done. The journey to having WLS is rarely a short one, I'm sure it is something you have taken a long time to consider. In the meantime, try to concentrate on the positives behind the surgery. Nerves is normal, but just remember your provider deals specifically with obese patients all the time....the people that actually die on the table or who die shortly after surgery are those who are super super morbidly obese with serious health complications. It's not in the sugeons interest for you to pop your clogs under his care, which is why it is such a long process with so many different appts with so many different specialists along the way! Stick to the path & all will be fine! xxx

 

[sugga]

Good luck in finding the right surgeon for you....you will be fine lovey xxx

 

[bobo]

Im the opposite i told everyone , the only people who have been negative was my parents because they were worried , i had so many ups and downs and dreaded having the op but i always knew i needed it , i have three young children who i wrote letters too and my hubby before i went in , and would have probably done a runner on the morning of the op if i knew i could get home !! but it was all worth it in the end. You have got it in your head that you need this doing things may come up which scare you but you will always come back to the same decision and ultimately start a new life for yourself xxx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Or fat and dead?Its a no brainer if you have not lost weight trying everything else you will just yoyo for the rest of your life or grow fatter.End result dead before your time.No surgeon would consider putting you at risk if he didnt expect a good outcome.That is why this journey is so long and you have to look at every aspect of your life.Maz x

 

[Stellap]

When people said to me that I might die during surgery I asked them why they didn't worry about my gall bladder surgery killing me when that surgery caused me many more problems (I was in hospital for 30 days got pancreatitis developed diabetes and had open surgery, why is it that folks only worry about wls, perhaps because of the voluntary nature or maybe a certain amount of guilt which makes us think we deserve something to go wrong. It's a surgical procedure like any other - that's how I viewed it.

 

[Deets]

thank you Helps to get my perspective back! I forget the surgeons are specialised in dealing with the larger frame.

I think because ive chosen to have the op, i feel like im almost tempting fate

And yes their reactions have been out of love really which is why im not angry.

thank you alll x

 

[dottychic]

You are tempting fate staying big too Id rather take the risk and know Im doing the best thing for me .... good Luck hun, dont worry some nerves are normal XX

 

[JOWOOD4]

Hi there
If you do a search on the forum you will see most people have a wobble at some time before they have the op. It's either before an appointment or before they go in for the surgery. I wrote on here two minutes before I got in the car to go to the hospital but I still got in the car and I am so glad I did. i had also put it off for a year and I now see that as a complete waste of a year of my life. Tell yourself you are not having it and see how you feel then. I would guess the thoughts for not having it are worse than the scary thoughts about the op.
At the end of the day only you can decide because it is your life and your family dont walk in your shoes no matter how much they love you.
Its a big decision to go ahead but a bigger one to not have it done because everything stays as it is. Do you want that? in your heart of hearts you know the answer that is right for you.
Keep posting and getting advice and everyone on here will hold your hand every step of the way
loads of love
JO XX

 

[TessG]

Only you know if surgery is right for you and if you have tried every thing else.

I was so scared in the run up to my operation that I nearly cancelled. The only thing that stopped me was the thought that I had made the decision while i was in my right frame of mind and now couldn't let fear change that decision. I would hate myself for it later.

I had my sleeve 2 1/2 weeks ago.

Make the decision yourself. Be prepared for a rough ride and hope you get an easier one!!!

Making a will is always sensible. Operation or not. You never know what is around the corner.

Good luck. Whatever your decision.
Hannah