Magicbean's journey to slim-town...

[Tamgredan]

Hi MB,

Glad you enjoyed yourself at the wedding, i bet you looked good ;-)
Yes your weight losses are loose...STS...loose i did notice and was going to ask you what you thought.
Yes totally agree with the fact that fills are horrible....if you dont know where your port is!
Anyway, have a good week and going from your weight trend, your due a loss this week!!!!
I too need to do mroe exercise and thats why ive bought an exercise bike. I simply dont have time to go to the gym with working nights.

 

[magicbeans]

tam i think its purely self sabotage......i reward myself when i have a loss by eating more band friendly food/not listening to head when full.....and then i STS and feel bad and think no gotta get back on it...repititive cycle...

am due that loss and with the fill i should get it...im more worried about the week after.... gotta break the rut....

today is one of those days i wish i could pull the band put and stuff my face with a big mac meal!!

 

[magicbeans]

hey all!

so was 3lbs off..... had my fill on tues and am feeling some restriction but defo not enough. at the mo finding this band malarky a bit annoying....i know i thought i was out of it....i mean i like the fact things fit....i dunno...i think its about when i get fed up with 'dieting' so thats why my body is like screw it now. ive lost a pound off 2 stones in 2 months which is fab...but the road ahead is so long and im feeling like this is it...u r always gonna be fat so why bother u wont really get past 13 and a half stones ...the lowest i ever got ..well actually 13stones 5lbs and that was on WW after my first kid...serious lack of faith in me as im so rubbish when it comes to willpower.

sitting here listening to some feel good tunes to keep me focused and not rummaging for food although im full....brain cant comprehend i dont need feeding every few hrs!

really hope i break the STS, lose, STS, lose cycle next week. wana lose and get some nice clothes....really need to hit the gym as ive pretty much lost 2 stones on my face only! oh and my feet and fingers.....the tummy mocks me! lolz

 

[big fat mama]

Oh magicbeans I have caught up on your diary and your post band cycle sounds like the diet cycle I have been in all my life. I have really enjoyed reading it and hope you get what you want x x x

 

[magicbeans]

thanks!! changing brain isnt an overnight process...the only thing is u dont gain in ur stupid weeks...so its a nice downward trend...really should stop jepordising it! have been better this week but my daily weigh ins are showing no difference....please dont be a STS again!!

 

[Kevin1708]

hey all! ive pretty much lost 2 stones on my face only! oh and my feet and fingers.....the tummy mocks me! lolz

The first place if goes on is the last place it comes off xxxx

 

[magicbeans]

thanks kevin and day-am u have lost shedloads! well done mate

ok...so had my fill exaclty a week ago...did the three days of liquids and then mushies..well i kinda went onto normal/soft....but last few days found that i have very little restriction. so i rang HW today to book a second fill and was told earliest was 28th june and even then they only had one time 10.15 in the morning (ie £40 train ticket to get there as is commuter time!) it would be too tight with the kids school run and expense so had to say no...next time was 5th july at 3pm! again school run..so the time after that was 15th july! how ridiculous! so i spoke to my mum (babysitter!) and she said the 5th july she'd look after my 1 yr old and pick up my boys from school...so annying that such a big company has so little slots and availability!

anyways am trying to be good on willpower...had ryvita with philly and grapes for lunch..was quite nice...but did have an ice cream today...oops! off to nandos today...salad for me...yummmm!!

weighing myself and stuck at 13st 9 for a while now...which is heading fast for the STS this week.....doesnt look like im breaking the cycle! booooo

anyways feeling ROUGH!since last week actually..BP was a bit better today...so having a fasting blood test on fri to check sugar, iron, liver...basically everything. the nurse wasnt impressed today when i told her my 'aftercare' consisted of them giving me fills and at most checking my BP. considering i paid 8grand the aftercare is appalling. if u go via NHS u know u r in much better hands...but that would mean having to gain weight, and jumo thrugh so many hoops hey!

she did ask,would i have it done in hindsight knowing how crap the aftercare is for private gastric bands...and i said yes i would and they know ppl do cos its so depressing being big., its a massive money making thing weight loss surgery/diets and they know it!!

ok my 1 yr old is on the attack...she loves slamming my laptop down xx

 

[Tamgredan]

Hi MB,

I would not have gone through NHS either, but my provider seems a lot better than yours. I can get fills in liverpool quite regular (twice a month she is there) and so far ive been able to choose my time slot.

I really hope you break your cycle this week! good luck!

 

[Slim4son]

I am hearing some negative reports about healthy weight and pleased I not with them I decided to go with hg good luck hun at the end of day if yr not happy with aftercare complain I'm sure they will sort out good luck xxxx

 

[stefanie]

Miss you magic, loved your diary.

Where are you ???

 

[magicbeans]

hey stef!!

been quite rubbish right!! whoops...ok whats the deal with me: well i had a secind and third fill and am now 6.4mls in 10mls. weight loss has slowed a little and the main reason....old habits creeping back in. im hungry so lets have a bite of cake bar, 20minutes later...lets have another bite. by the end of the day i have eaten 1-2cake bars and also i am very ashamed to say this but have had 2-3 sessions of just sitting down in the evening and polishing off a bag of sensations ,....the whole bag.....all that grease makes them slide down no problem!

hence ive stayed away from this site as i know ive done badly. but was getting fed up and this week went to shops ansd stocked up on good stuff.....like dried fruit which the nurse advised and snack jack thingies. they do seem to settle better for longer. also been eating well again. had slim fasts for lunch this week and am concentrating more.

no gym/activities with the kids really.....but i know thats not gonna happen till sept at the earliest. weigh in tomorow, hoping for a loss as it will mean i am officially no longer obese!! yay!! BMI is 30.0 at the mo, would be great to get in the 20s!!

 

[Maura]

good luck magic, but stay focused. My aftercare isnt much to be desired. its £90 a fill and i am in the room for about 3 minutes. asked if i am doing ok and then showed to the door. think this second fill will do me a while as i have good restriction

 

[stefanie]

Glad you are ok, i cannot offer any advise as I only know to well that we still have our old eating habit heads on!!! The only difference is I have had a bypass so whilst I crave the naughty things, I physically cannot have them. I know for a fact , I would be exactly like you if I had a band. I really hope that things get better for you soon, as you say, when school starts again it will be easier to get into a routine.

Thanks for posting xxx

Stev

 

[magicbeans]

Here i am again...gotta confront the whole band thing instead of sticking my head in the sand.

Pros:
Am 13stones 1lb.....2 off 12 stones which i havent seen in years
Am size 18.... out of the 20s.
Have a slimmer face
Feel happier going to events and making more effort with hair/eyebrows etc
not 'missing' any foods

Cons:
Body refuses to shift
still dizzy and waiting for blood results...if i go gym dizziness gets worse
head hunger is horrible and i feel pathetic not being able to control it....ie choc/crisps etc

Have had 4th fill so am 7.2ml in 10ml band and feel much better for it. had put 3 lbs on in 2 weeks but now back on track. had a road trip to germany with the kids and ate so many biscuits and choc it was shameful ...to th epoint hubby was like...errrm.... u might wana wait till dinner....which is embarassing so then i get into a mood with him whereas i cant blame him, he did fork out 8grand i need to do my bit.

seem to have stalled since the beginning of the summer, but do feel restriction now and hopefully will see some results. doubt i will get to my mini goal of being in the 11s by december for the family holiday to DUBAI!! but gotta keep at it and then to goal by july 14th....the 10yr anniversary!

spoke to nurse at HW when went to my fill and she said it sometimes a while for people to 'get it'

i wana GET IT!!

 

[Josiegirl]

I made a big mistake choosing the band for weight loss purely due to my lack of willpower and grasing eating habits. It didn't take me long to discover how easily chocolate, biscuits and cake and crisps went down. Funny how the bad foods never, ever got stuck. You really have to have self control to make the band work. I didn't so two weeks ago my band was removed and replaced with a gastric bypass. This is perfect for me as I am terrified of eating sweet or fatty foods due to dumping which is horrible.

I would urge anyone to really take the advice from their surgeon. I went for the cheaper option and in the end it has cost me double.

 

[shellymac]

magic sooo pleased you posted,when i joined i followed your diary religiously you gave me insight into what a banders journey might be like and laughed out loud at some of your posts! you have been my inspiration and i know not to expect an easy ride.we are only human and have to accept that we make wrong choices some times but thats all it is a wrong choice and our bands are there to help us get back on track.you have come such a long way in a short space of time where do you think your weight would be today if you hadnt have been banded?i bet there wouldnt be as many pros on the page! stay strong take a slip up on the chin and get right back to it.and please keep posting.xxx

 

[Maura]

helllo mb how the heck r u? great to c ur doing well. i have just had 2 fills and my weight loss has slowed down quite a bit, but as long as i am losing i am happen enough.

 

[magicbeans]

thanks josie, shelly and maura

Josie, i still am not 100% on getting a bypass done...just such a big deal with the replumbimg and all..... and tbh i doubt id get it now BMI has come under 30...just! gotta stick with it, still a bit early to throw the towel in but i do appreciate ur advice. thanks

Shelly...aww thats so sweet.....right must keep with diaries and not run away from this site... keeps me focused on here...fact im not on means im sitting watching tele with 'snacks'!! nooooooooo

maura weird how i didnt go to my inlaws for few weeks and when i do everyone is like WOW u lost loads since we saw u last month...im thinking, iive lost like 2lbs...but i guess its better then an upward trend!

anyways...let's do thins band thing!

 

[MrsPill]

Its good to see you back and positive Magic...I've missed you! I've missed the dancing man!!(sorry I don't know him)
I think everyone has to battle those food demons...I know I do but it's soooooo worth it. At least the band helps to stop a humungous downward spiral into overeating again doesn't it.
Anyway, new week, new attitude...see you Saturday on that losers settee( I prefer comfort!)

 

[magicbeans]

CRAP CRAP CRAP! what an awful day....been thinking of what excuse i can make to not log in on saturday to record weight, been nibbling away here and there....just had half tub of ice cream and feel sick! why cant i break my bad habits WHY?!

had 2 options:
1. keep eating and 'ignore' it.
2. face upto the shame by admitting it on here and hopefully realising this is NOT what i want to be doing...how do i feel right now, i feel sick, i feel full, i feel uncomfortable and unhappy...food is not the answer.... i must read this ebtry back to myself before i decide to go on another splurge.

have hav have to start properly tomorrow... i have to. i am so dissapointed in me