Mirror Issues

[tink75]

Hi just wondering if anyone else still has mirror issues. I was hoping that after a large weight loss I would look in the mirror and feel happier - as it I really don't. I am still repulsed every time I have to pass a mirror. I don't regret the surgery for one minute and believe me it has been a rollercoaster ride of health problems and emotions - my doctor thinks I still have underlying issues from the month I spent in hospital - maybe who knows. Does anyone else have the same self loathing or is that also a horrid side effect from my complications??????? For any pre opper reading please don't get me wrong it was def the best decision I EVER made but I would be lying to say it has solved all my problems - infact I prob have more health issues now but the important point is that none of them will kill me unlike the problems I had before surgery. Don't know whether what I am feeling is normal or if I am maybe well screwed up in the head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gillabean]

Hi Tink, I'm so sorry that you feel like this. Did you have issues before the surgery? How did you feel about yourself before the op? It's true though, surgery doesn't alter the inner you, the person inside. Or maybe it really is because of your complications and coming to terms with it. I'm sure you have already, but have you thought of counselling? I think that picking your feelings to pieces would help, at least you could find out why you feel like this. It's great that you posted how you feel, at least it could help other pre-oppers know that it's not all a walk in the park.

 

[Mixman]

Try not to worry too much but I would definitely have a talk to your doc about it.

I still think of myself as a fat man, even after everything I've done and am still doing! The psychological issues obviously run deep and it is something I need to address in the future if it doesn't improve.

 

[Bullyfun]

Same here As Mixxy still gauging the gaps between things, going for the XXXXL rail, wondering why old friends walk past me in the street, hating the loose skin on my belly, looking in the mirror and noticing new issues daily lol

but as you rightly said its a brilliant chance that i wouldnt change, best thing i have ever done just hope the old noggin reboots itself sometime soon...

 

[Lisa J]

Hi, i think i was more self consious at 15 stone then when i was at 22 stone for some strange reason! I would look in the mirror and start criticising myself but since losing another 3 stone and getting down to 12 stone my attitude has really changed, now i cant stop looking in mirrors as i am soooooo pleased with what i see in them and most of the time i have to look twice just to make sure it is me! So maybe it does just take a little longer for our heads to catch up with our bodies!

 

[StephieAck]

I still sort of see the old mega fat me in the mirror sometimes, my brain is still struggling to keep up.
Having said that, I never used to be able to look in the mirror for long without wanting to cry, putting make up on bothered me because I HAD to look directly at myself and it hurt so much to see myself.
Whilst I am still in a funny head space, I am much happier to look in mirrors now, I find myself liking to look at myself in shop windows when other people are there too so that I can have a sneaky compare to help myself gauge where I am in comparison to the rest of the world, that is my way of trying to help my brain.
I do look in my home mirrors for longer now, I cant say I am mega comfy doing so now but I am so fascinated with the changes and the way I have changed that I find myself looking for much longer than before, though I must say that I still dont admire everything that I see, I tend to look at myself with a VERY critical eye, things like "oh look, my cheeks are thinner, I have dimples when I smile, but oh man I wish that my stupid double chin would shrink quicker".
So I dont think that I have deep set issues, though I do have lots of trouble seeing my body as anything but massive, saggy and ugly, but that will take a lot longer to deal with, if I ever actually manage to.
Im sorry that you struggle with mirrors so much and some counselling might really help.
Good luck and I hope that your relationship with mirrors can change really soon xx
Steph xx

 

[marky v]

i still see the nearly 30 stone man when i look in the mirror sometimes, sad, but i've grown up with him, it'll take time to get over that bit, no different really to the anoerexic who sees a fat person looking back at them, when i go to put my trousers on in the morning, i still look at them and think they wont fit, i've lost nearly 18 inches off my waist, and the trousers don't look big enough to fit, but they do!! After a while, i suppose these negative self perceptive images will subside, hang in there, you and us all will get thro it!!

 

[tink75]

Thanks everyone - it's just good to know that I am not alone. I think what has been said is spot on right and when you have looked at yourself like that all your life - it's hard to see anything different. On a great note I reached 100lb lost this morning and it has reboosted my confidence a bit whoop whoop, just keep plodding on and hopefully like said we will get up one morning look in the mirror and like what we see xxx

 

[Fat Again]

Sadly for some of us its a never ending story. When we are fat we hate the way we look, as we lose weight we can't accept the way we look, then once the weights gone, we are back to hating the way we look because of the excess saggy skin.

It's definately a mind over matter thing. Our brains do catch up eventually, I promise.

It really does get better as we slowly accept the changes to our bodies, these things take time.

xx

 

[thinkbethin]

I still see the "fat" me but maybe thats because I looked at the "fat" me in mirrors for over 40 years. I guess its going to take a long time to see the "new" me

 

[Stellap]

I think we can always find something about ourselves we don't like when we look in the mirror. With me it was being fat and I remember grabbing great chunks of fat and thinking "if only that would go I would be happy". Now I am 11.7 I think my stomach looks big in comparison to the rest of me and now look with critical eyes at my wrinkly skin on the tops of my legs and belly, my bingo wings etc. My other half tells me off and says to stop being so self critical as I have worked so hard to lose the weight and get fit. I think we all have to learn to love ourselves again before we are happy with what we have - and all of our problems don't disappear with the weight, we tend to blame weight on everything. I have skinny friends who are critical of their looks so I don't think it's just a fat issue.

 

[tink75]

I couldn't agree more Stellap - I just said to my other half today - it doesn't matter what I look like I think I am just self critical in everything - I even question my skills in teaching and that's my passion and I give it 150% - but my all is never enough. I am just going to try and accept how I am and look for my achievements i.e. I walked round Ingleton falls today in 2hrs 8mins and my recovery was so quick - this means that it doesn't matter what I look like - my fitness levels are soaring and at the end of the day that is why I had the surgery.

 

[Stellap]

Exactly, I've just come back from Rome and walked EVERYWHERE...couldn't have done that last year! I think as well as seeing the dietician, psychologist, surgeon etc they should also get us to see am image consultant LOL. We have to learn to be nice to ourselves - something I am trying to work on - and also accept our limitations (I'm 47 and would probably have had some loose skin by now even if I hadn't gotten big). We've all done brilliantly and should pat ourselves on the back!