Missing 'old' friends...

[J-Mo]

I've not noticed any threads/posts from people such as Neen, Gillabean & Cuppacocoa.

I do hope the reason for their absence is for good reason. If they are out their reading, I hope they are well.

 

[POPPET]

Hi J-Mo,
Neen has been posting recently-if you have time send her a message-I know she'd appreciate your concern/interest

Lets hope Gilla & Cuppa are just busy in their newly slim lives x

 

[seawaves]

Hi J-mo i was only thinking a few days ago that when i joined back in march there was people you would see often & now they've gone :wave_cry: hope they are ok x

 

[StephieAck]

I sent a text to Cuppa a couple of weeks back and got a reply. She was well and had been very very busy, so I think that is why she is M.I.A. I dont have Gills number so I cant text to see how she is doing.
The gorgeous and wonderful Neen has been posting lately yayyyyyyy
Steph xx

 

[J-Mo]

Thanks every1 for ur comments. I'll have to watch out for Neen's posts...

 

[Neen]

Hi J-Mo, I am sort of about x I have been struggling to make progress myself and I feel like I don't have anything relevant to say or contribute as I feel like I am stuck. That being said, if I feel I can say something useful I try and join in though I don't think I do very good at it. I wish you well and I hope that you're doing allright, everyone stumbles along the way and I hope you will not let any recent set backs get you down too much.
Happy to share anything practical that helps me with you if you want it but generally I feel I don't have anything to offer at the moment x
I have missed Cuppa and Gill too, plus Coralie, Dawn36, FGS and a lot of others. I think people move through here quite a lot and one or two stay and mingle in the long term , or simply pop back now and then to see what's going on.

 

[StephieAck]

To be honest Neen, I dont feel as though I have much to offer either. I always wished that long termers would stick around so that we had answers about issues further out from surgery but now that I am technically further out at ten and a half months I feel as though anything I have to offer isnt needed. People seem to need the support and advice of those at the same stage as them I feel, so I feel a little redundant if Im honest.
I love the forum though and the lovely people here so Ill stick around. I must admit to feeling sad that many of the people I feel I went through my early journey with have now moved on, that seems to be the pattern though, I do intend to break that pattern myself though and plan to be here a long time, even if Im not much use lol
Steph xx

 

[Neen]

Stephie, I think the total opposite ! You are practically at goal, also your self confidence and love of life really shines through and is really inspirational! You are precisely the ideal kind of long termer to stick around and help people because you are where they aim to be in the future. You are a living example of what they want to achieve and your enthusiasm for your new life really comes out in every post you make. People pay attention to what you have to say as you have so obviously got it right , and gone through your journey so far , taking the highs and lows and still managing to lose that weight and work really well with your bypass.
I don't feel relevant because I have not reached goal and am not making new progress. No-one wants to get advice or input from someone who is not making their surgery work for them. xx I would miss you if I went away as you make me smile and are a lovely person but I don't fit anywhere here as a positive contributor and I definately feel it.

 

[cherry]

ooooo neen that is so so harsh on yourself!.... you ve lost 129lb! that is a massive achievement and dont ever forget it, that alone is worth all the advice you could give us lot, you ve done fab fab ........ xx

 

[StephieAck]

Aww thanks xx But I do feel that you are wrong on one thing, people struggle and if they look around and only find others that are having endless success then they feel like the odd one out, it is comforting for some to know that others are struggling too, so you DO contribute and you do have a place. Hell, you think about what you havent done, look at your ticker!!! That is a MASSIVE amount of weight to lose and with a band too!!! You have way more to offer than you could imagine!
Steph xx

 

[Neen]

Thank you Kelly, I am hard on myself because I do feel a bit panicky inside that I can't lose the other 6 stone still wobbling around my butt! I just feel that I can contribute better when I have got the rest off and beaten the comfort eating, that is what has sabotaged it for me every time.
I think I am trapped in a cycle of unhelpful feelings and I just need to break the pattern. eg sad- self pity- angry- comfort eat- sad (repeat the cycle)
I am not really a miserable old cow I promise xxx

 

[cherry]

oooo its hard isnt it..... but try not to let the negative side outweigh the good side! you have done AMAZING and i would look to you for advice, knowledge of wls..... because your a walking advertisement!! 129lbs babe! is phoemonal (spelling sorry) .... dont hide away form here, come back, and we'll all do it together! xxxxx

 

[Neen]

Cheers Stephie xx I get the rare burst of motivation and do good for a while then it fizzles away! I am listening to something by Tony Robbins at the moment which is meant to be specifially for solving the emotional problems that make us self sabotage and stay fat. It's interesting and has stirred some stuff up ..I think that's why I'm getting all serious. Just trying to get to the bottom of why I am so stuck. If it helps I can share it with whoever is interested

 

[Neen]

Cheers Kelly x Part of my problem is also I have no patience...I want it now! (my skinny body that is) and it has been a couple years since surgery. I think I feel embarrassed that I am not yet at my goal, and the longer I take the more stupid I feel. I go on the defensive and isolate myself because I don't want anyone to see I'm embarrassed. On the flipside I do want to join in but it's the feeling people look at me and when I had surgery and think "hmmmmmm aren't you meant to be slim yet? Have you ballsed this up as well.." etc !!!
Shows that it is really important to think differently and have a new attitude as well as just having the physical side of the surgery and lifestyle change I suppose!

 

[cherry]

thats exactly right neen, not only does the body have to change but theeeeee biggest hardest part is changing the head and mind, and how we feel mentally about ourselves....it doesnt matter babe, if it takes another 2 years to get this weight off, you WILL do it, but it just might take a lil longer thats all..... never feel like a failure because you have achieved so so much, maybe put a picture up or look at one when you were at your biggest and then look at a picture of you now just so you can re focus yourself and think 'actually i look and have done mighty fine!!!' oooo im sending hugs xxxxx

 

[Neen]

I think a big part of my particular problem is not feeling worthy or good enough to join in. Like I have to prove I can be in the group because I am successful and have lost all my weight. I think that the feeling of not being good enough is something I have always had and a lot of people with weight problems have too. The need to feel significant and connect with people is a basic human need (according to old Antony Robbins) and does explain a lot ! Well I am happy to help where I can and chip in wether or not it's actually that helpful, it's just nice to be included, so thanks x

 

[Bev]

Hi Neen,

Lovely to hear from you... and always so special to hear from anyone that has been around for so long on the forum...

It's an amazing amount of weight that you have lost... 129lbs... is really something....

Would love to be there if you are ever in need and sending a loving hug and thoughts in your direction....

With kindest regards, Bev xxx

 

[Neen]

Thankyou Bev , I appreciate that x I am sorry if I come across as negative and moody. That is not my intention at all. The core of it is wanting to have conquered my weight problem so I can be more effective and help in a positive way, but lacking confidence to really throw myself into the forum because I feel I haven't done my part and lost all of it. It is a really long road with a lot of weight to lose and so it's really nice to feel involved in things , despite taking a longer route to the end goal x Thanks for your support

 

[Bev]

Hi Neen,

I would never see anyone as negative or moody precious... we are all dealing with a lot and at varying stages...

The beautiful thing about this forum, is the way in which there is a mutual understanding and way of tuning in... we are all very much up and down at times and we have all gone through a lot to get to this stage in our lives...

Thinking of you Neen and lovely to have had a word today... always here.

Love and hugs xxx

 

[J-Mo]

Neen, I'm soooo sorry u feel the way u do!! But I think u're bl**dy brilliant & if your weren't 'worthy' or 'good enough to join in', how are you one of the people I have missed!!??

I always love ur comments & input!! You have done marvellously!! You're an inspiration to others, myself included.

Go Neen arty0011:arty0011:arty0011:arty0011: