Week 21...
Yay! Hit my 4.5 stone! Another lb off this week. I’m now 12st 9 and 2lb off my original target I set myself on here. I’ve decided I want to get to 12st, so another 9lb to go. I’m feeling great in myself and still receiving lots of compliments. My body is steadily losing 1lb a week. It’s a little frustrating in terms of just wanting to hit my goal weight as I’m close to it now. On the other hand, I’m reassured that I will hopefully be able to stabilise my weight where I want it to be. My BMI is now 25.9 so just hitting the healthy range.
I finally had my phone appointment with my surgeon on Thursday. They’ve been rearranged numerous times! I asked about my struggles with some foods and being sick. He said it can be quite normal for some people and he wasn’t concerned. I did tell him that it has improved massively. I told him I was concerned I’d need a stretch and he said that’s quite rare in his experience and he didn’t feel it was necessary. He was very pleased with my weight loss. I asked about my hair thinning and he said it’s temporary and will grow back and to keep my protein up to help with it. I asked about my recent slow losses and he said this is again natural and that my weight will eventually plateau.
NSV - my slow losses recently don’t seem to have stopped the inches coming off. I’ve been clinging onto a lot of my size 16s with a belt. They’ve become ridiculously big so I decided I needed to bite the bullet and buy some new clothes. Zara is one of my favourite shops, but I was struggling to get into their XL/XXL pre-op. I’ve just bought some medium tops. Some size 14 jeans from M&S and some 12s jeans (stretchy) and 12s tops from Tesco! I now seem to be a 14/12 rather than a 16/14. Since wearing clothes that fit, people think I’ve suddenly lost more weight. I spent a long time in Tesco trying sizes etc on. My mind couldn’t comprehend buying a 12s; I couldn’t actually pick them up at first as I was in total disbelief. When I tried them on in the changing room, I stood, stared and felt really strange. I wanted to know how I felt, but I didn’t know how to feel. I still feel strange about it - not sure why! Maybe it’s that it’s not been on my radar to be in a 12s, maybe my head hasn’t adjusted as quickly as my body (I experienced this feeling when I used to be a size 28). A colleague took a video of a few of us the other day and when I looked at it, I couldn’t believe it was me. Your eyes/mind don’t always see what others see. I also see myself every day in a mirror, but then see myself in a photo/video and then I realise how different I look. I suppose this has worked the other way around in the fat days when you see yourself in a photo and are horrified about your size. When you bump into people who haven’t seen you for a few months, it’s a shock to them but not to you - another strange one! This is a great journey, but an extremely mind-blowing, emotional one!
