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Non understanding family!!!!

chummy

chummy

New Member
Why is it when you've taken time out to access your life and make a life changing decision FAMILY all be it skinny sisters don't understand and think its ok to tell you to get your lazy butt down the gym!!!!

As I said to them on several occasions its not the losing weight it's the keeping it off and not putting more on over time.

Unfortunately it's made me come to the decision to keep my surgery between me and my mum who is also an over weight lady. Seems I have her genes but my siblings do not.

Such a shame as I had thought they would have been pleased for me finally taking control of my life after several personal and painful tragedies of child birth and marriage/divorce. But hey sometimes the closest of people can be the ones that surprise you the most. Yet a perfect stranger can be the most supporting.

Glad I've found this site if only to let off steam and chat to others I'm my situation.

I hope I can be someone's understanding stranger one day. X
 
Chummy - you'll find and lot of good tips, advice and support here and more importantly a wealth of experience. I'm so glad that I kept my wls between my close family and one good friend as there's nothing worse than having 'well meaning friends' ramming their opinions, wives tails and 'all you need to do is... down your throat until your head is battered.
 
Hi and welcome x

My siblings are not supportive in the slightest (all large built - think its easier to knock me down to 'their level' than do something about their own problems. Always been the same, not just about this). My parents swapped from disinterested to interested when my mum came to my pre-op, having initially turned down my invite.

Friends have been supportive ALL the way.

Hand in to the support you do get and try not to let others drag you down xx
 
Welcome hon.

I understand. My partner of six years basically said it would ruin our social life and eating together and if I had it done we were over. I said with or without you im doing it and only after I did it was he nice to me. He is still making little digs at me about my ridiculous small portions but im making progress with him. Im also glad I've told no one but him, his mum, my mum and my boss.

I know how hurtful it is so im sending you big hugs.

Love Lousarah. Xxx
 
My skinny son just can't see my reasoning for going for a bypass. In fact he does not see my weight as being an issue at all & refuses point blank to even discuss it. Try to talk to him and it turns into a barney so now I just don't even involve him in it at all. Family and friends have been on the whole extremely supportive except one sis in law who will ask how "things are coming along" as regards the procedures but then refuses to acknowledge the obvious weight loss which I find strangely odd. It's like she feels she has to show some sort of interest but isn't really all that interested in truth.
These are two skinny super fit people who have never had a misplaced pound or two in their life ... Says it all really but at the end of the day I am doing it for me and I don't need their opinions or support to get me there. Xx
 
Welcome Chummy, my wife often asks me "how are your friends today?". She is referring to my friends on this forum and knows that I spend some time each day catching up on people's progress or reading about a challenge or problem that someone else is facing. Most on here have never met or indeed ever likely to but nevertheless offer tremendous support to each other. It is especially valuable if you haven't told anybody about your WLS, we all need someone and who better than others who really understand. Slaz x
 
Thankfully my family have been amazingly supportive, even my little sister, who I was never very close to. Sorry about your family not being understanding, but maybe once you lose all the weight, they will realise how well you are doing and they may change their minds, just keep your chin up, and I hope you find people ho are really supportive. Good luck X
 
Well done on making you life changing decision hun! If its what you want to make you happy then go for it! Some people just cant understand or just dont want you to change.
I myself have been going through something similar. I didnt get to have wls due to being 2 points off the BMI scale so ive had to lose the weight myself and done pretty well so far. My starting weight was 14st 10lbs which was quite a lot for my tiny 5ft 2 frame. So far ive got down to 11st.
I was offered an NHS tummy tuck due to daily back ache and recurring infections etc but so many people are having a go at me saying i shouldn't get it done.
I think its purely jealousy to be fair. :(
Ive worked really hard and do have health grounds as to needing this operation and also had 2 c sections so been left with the flap of doom!

Do what makes you happy hun :)

You will find a lot of support on here as they are a lovely bunch :grouphugg:
 
chummy said:
Why is it when you've taken time out to access your life and make a life changing decision FAMILY all be it skinny sisters don't understand and think its ok to tell you to get your lazy butt down the gym!!!!

As I said to them on several occasions its not the losing weight it's the keeping it off and not putting more on over time.

Unfortunately it's made me come to the decision to keep my surgery between me and my mum who is also an over weight lady. Seems I have her genes but my siblings do not.

Such a shame as I had thought they would have been pleased for me finally taking control of my life after several personal and painful tragedies of child birth and marriage/divorce. But hey sometimes the closest of people can be the ones that surprise you the most. Yet a perfect stranger can be the most supporting.

Glad I've found this site if only to let off steam and chat to others I'm my situation.

I hope I can be someone's understanding stranger one day. X
Click to expand...

Oh I feel for you, I am in a similar situation, my sister who has always been big and is 10 years my junior has gone a total body revamp in the last 6 months and shed 4 stone!! I myself have battled with my weight since childhood and yo yo 'd through the 90's and 00's. Now she has lost weight and my mam is giving me hell for going down the surgery route. 'If your sister can do it so can you', 'Its the easy option'! This is not an easy decision and I am scared stiff but I know that its the only way to stop me losing and putting back on and some. Dont listen to anyones negativity because if your like me you will be having enough of those feelings yourself without the added pressure. Do whats right for you not for others. ;)
 
Huge cyber-hugs to all who have faced negativity xx

ToxicSiren - you've EARNED that tummy tuck - go for it !!!

Polly - aaagghhhhhhh. I grew up hearing 'you're sister can do it, why can't you' about EVERYTHING!! Don't let it get to you xx
 
Thanks all. Can't wait to start my journey. Even my sisters are excepting it now. I think when they see the difference in me they'll see it was the right thing to do. X
 
Good luck for today chummy and do what you believe is right for you xx
 
Hi all, we'll today I saw the consultant Mr. Ashton and have decided to go with HW having the
single incision op with Mr. Favretti and his team in Manchester.
Lets hope the next 22wks fly by - this is the earliest it can be done as I'm in an out of the country with work. August here we come can't wait.

Mum came with me and is now thinking about having a band too. But wants to see how I do first. I have warned her by then I would have moved on to a tummy tuck and boob uplift. But I think it's sensible for us to do it in stages so we can be there for each other rather than us both in pain/recovery together.

Just wanted to tell someone my good news - I've made the decision to change my life for the better.

Good luck to you all pre and post. X
 
chummy said:
Hi all, we'll today I saw the consultant Mr. Ashton and have decided to go with HW having the
single incision op with Mr. Favretti and his team in Manchester.
Lets hope the next 22wks fly by - this is the earliest it can be done as I'm in an out of the country with work. August here we come can't wait.

Mum came with me and is now thinking about having a band too. But wants to see how I do first. I have warned her by then I would have moved on to a tummy tuck and boob uplift. But I think it's sensible for us to do it in stages so we can be there for each other rather than us both in pain/recovery together.

Just wanted to tell someone my good news - I've made the decision to change my life for the better.

Good luck to you all pre and post. X
Click to expand...

Aww great news chummy look forward to reading about your success x

Paula x
 
I have decided not to tell people as well as I really just want to focus on the surgery and getting it right afterwards. Each year I put on more weight , each year I exercise more , each year I end up hurting some part of my body. The last 3 years have been a nightmare. Some people do see this as an easy choice. I just see it as a plan that will actually work for me along size my exercise regime. I would just love to workout see results and have no injuries to contend with- my brain thinks my body is Jane Fonda trying to get out and doesn't understand 17 stone on size 3 feet is very painful. Do not let people get you down only you know how you feel and I am sure once you have had the surgery they will think its the best thing you have done. Your sister will see that you still have to watch what you eat and you will still need to exercise and once she sees that she will be more understanding - good luck
 
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