Shoulda Hadda Bypass??

[32bme]

Neen and others, thanks for all your honesty in this area.
As someone who had the ballon fitted and later the band.
I know how hard it can be and still is with the band.
To lose any amount of weight now i have to cut right back cant cope with counting cals so try to eat a lot less.

Yes its hard (no one ever said it would be easy) I hope in the long term,i get to goal and dont continue with yo yo dieting as i have done in the last 40+ years.

I am sure lots of bypassers have our problem as well with slow loses and feeling a failure its just that you have spoke about what we all fear so thank you and you are all an inspiration to me .Mia

 

[Neen]

Hi Gaynor, I'm glad you didn't disappear, the reason I started this thread was to give a voice to us struggling banders who feel disillusioned and a bit weary of the long haul. I had a feeling I wasn't the only one who felt like disappearing from the site because I felt like I was failing. I hope that you don't go off on your own because I think that's just going to make it harder. I often feel like I better not post unless I'm losing and doing well but if anything that makes it harder to regain control. I just wanted to offer some help to you, not sure what but please don't keep silent about feeling unsure. I think it's good to honour our feelings about wether we can succeed. Venting your frustrations is healthy and clamming up and not asking for support is what led to a lot of my eating disorder in the first place. Medicating myself with food etc.
As for my weight loss so far, it's all relative isn't it? you are about half way along your ticker as well.
I personally feel like what has gone before with my weight doesn't matter as much as what's yet to shift and I feel like I'm just starting. I think pausing to pat myself on the back is a mistake as I have gotten complacent and I am not planning to settle on "half way is good enough".
Big hugs and give yourself a bit of slack because no-one would manage to be a saint on a diet going through the kind of problems you've had to deal with lately.
Stick at it and keep chatting on here.x If we can't say how we feel on here then where else have we got ? x

 

[Neen]

Heya Topsy, Debzy and Mia..big hugs and a cup o tea for you xxx I hope banders who are not perfect will come out of hiding and come join in again and share the load, we know what we're meant to do but it's just doing it isn't it? After the initial few months it's coping with the 2nd year and the third....that sometimes long wait to get to goal.
It's all easy in theory but life tends to get in the way.
I just wanted to give a little thread for banders who feel like they daren't post because it's feeling hard to keep going , they feel like they're embarrassed because it's not working how they wanted or it's feeling impossible to get back on the wagon after a slow patch or backwards stumble.
Not asking for advice as I think band rules are tattooed on the inside of my eyelids now....not wanting a pat on the back for anything I have lost either because that's not what is important to me personally...any stragglers come and join as the important thing is not to stay alone in this x

 

[Porpo]

Hiya,

I agonised over band or bypass for months and I'm still not sure it wouldnt have been better for me to have had the band.

I read that banders lose on average the same amount of weight as bypass patients over the longer term. So although we lose it quicker to start with your losses are about the same over say 5 years. I know that's not much help when you want it gone NOW but you dont have just the same issues that the bypasses do with tablets and vitamins etc etc. I still think I should have gone with the band some days.

xx

 

[Mazza]

Hello again Neen

This week I have really noticed my volumes have shot up so Im working really hard to not finish my meals and to not gain.

I still havent got my op date and thats playing on my mind too - cant have a fill either otherwise would need a small de fill before surgery.

Im exercising but that just makes me even more hungry and Im really suffering with my abdominal pain at the moment :cry:

When the op is out of the way Im determined to shift the rest of my weight.

To the fairy dust giver - the lovely Topsy our fills are only like injections and over 9 months I think Ive had 4 (maybe 5?) and Im virtually at my sweet spot. Im sure I will need maintenance ones over the years but theyre no biggy lol. I take a multivitamin every day and all my bloods etc are fine. I never wanted the bypass and I dont think it would have been right for me, do you have to have b12 injections etc?

Maz x

 

[Neen]

Hi Porpo & thanks for commenting. I do realise that bypassers have a lot of lifelong maintenance hassle honest. There seems to be a lot more support threads for bypassers so I was really just trying to redress the balance a bit. As I said before either of the surgeries come with different plus and minus list and I don't know if many people are 100% comfortable with their choice in the end. There's always a compromise with everything if we want to reap the benefits x

 

[phatgirl]

Neen, I don't mean to intrude but I wanted to thank you for starting a much needed thread. I think all wls peeps who go past their year and are not yet at goal tend to shy away from the forum because they feel a failure. It is sooo untrue but people feel that way. What they really need is support from people like yourself that have been there and felt that. Kudos to you my dear!

Also, just a little fact I was talking about yesterday in the 6months section - the hardest part for bypassers is 2 years+ when your body has adapted and you feel you can eat what you want. Old habits return and suddenly - BAM, you gain 20lbs! It happens sooo often and scares the pants of bypassers who have become complacent. That is our danger zone. So even though we lose faster in the first couple of years we do have a serious weak point that can cause significant and dreaded re-gain, I think that is why over 5 years band & bypass have the same results. So take heart that the journey you are on won't get harder, you are living what your band will be like in 5 years. With bypassers, the change in the bypass from year 1 to year 3 can be huge and scary!

Hugs!
Nic

 

[Neen]

Hey Maz, I wish I had some advice for you! It's very distracting in terms of weight loss, when you have something worrying you as a lot of us are comfort eaters and I know I hate my routine changing lol..It throws me right off the mark.
I am trying some hoodia vitabites at the moment to ntry and help with my appetite a bit. I'll let you know if they work (if they can stop me the rampaging cookie monster, then they gonna work on anyone)
I went for a run this morning for the first time since way before Christmas and it was fine...dare I say I liked it...It has taken so long to get back off my arse and start back on track.
I hope that you hear about your op soon as that's sounds like it's going to help you feel more organised and at least you'll know where you are.
You can have some hyposis stuff if you fancy, give me a pm and I'll organise something if you would like to try.
Sometimes it's worth trying stuff like that.
I would just do what you feel up to until the op is over with like you say. There's plenty of room for you to catch up when you're all recovered x

 

[Neen]

Hi Nic and thanks for popping in! I'm glad that you get why I started this thread as I disappeared just after my op and had I stayed I feel sure I would have had the support and fellowship that I realise I needed to keep on going!
I would hate for anyone to feel somehow unwelcome or unworthy of posting and joining in here because they feel like they aren't doing it right...that goes for all of us..no matter what op.
I think it's so important for all of us to have a wide group of veterans and newbies alike as it's only then we can get a really full knowledge base and pretty much every possible scenario/problem has a chance of being helped and understood.
I don't see any banders from when I had my op and I guess they moved on to the point where the confidence and new slim lifestyle took over. I hope none are withdrawing due to not reaching goal etc.
I would like to try and keep posting after my goal as well because seeing people come out the other side and achieve their dreams has definately been the key to push me on at times.
Hugs and a cup o tea!x

 

[Mynewlife]

I would just like to say thank you for starting this thread. I came across it today, and it has really helped me to realise that I am not the "bander freak" who is struggling with the weight loss on her own little island. By the way, we had our bands fitted the same day...what a coincidence eh?? I have not lost as much as you, and also will be coming into my second year after July. I thought 12-18months and I would be at target, yet still have over 2 stone to go..Its not easy, I never expected it to be, but then I never expected it to be this hard either and that has come as a shock. I am going through a really rough patch at the moment and am trying to organise a slight defill because my band is too tight. You would think with it being too tight the weight would be dropping off ... nothing could be further from the truth and I have gained 5 pounds in 6 days because I am having things that slide down easier due to the tightness of the bank. these of course tend to have much more sugar and bad things in them, but I just cannot tolerate anything too large. Once I get my band sorted out and have a little taken out, I am hoping that I can kick things back into gear, and get on with the final two stone. It is frustrating, I have and am walking in your shoes, I dont think any of us expected it to be like this. We all knew it would not be the answer to our prayers, I think we all knew it would only be a tool to help us in our weight loss journeys, but I dont think any of us expected it to be this trying. I certainly didnt..If anyone says that I took the easy route by having surgery, I think I would punch them as this is far from the easy route...At least we have this place and others that are walking in our shoes, so we know we are not on that island alone...take care and thanks again so much for starting this thread..
MNL

 

[Mazza]

Hey Maz, I wish I had some advice for you! It's very distracting in terms of weight loss, when you have something worrying you as a lot of us are comfort eaters and I know I hate my routine changing lol..It throws me right off the mark.
I am trying some hoodia vitabites at the moment to ntry and help with my appetite a bit. I'll let you know if they work (if they can stop me the rampaging cookie monster, then they gonna work on anyone)
I went for a run this morning for the first time since way before Christmas and it was fine...dare I say I liked it...It has taken so long to get back off my arse and start back on track.
I hope that you hear about your op soon as that's sounds like it's going to help you feel more organised and at least you'll know where you are.
You can have some hyposis stuff if you fancy, give me a pm and I'll organise something if you would like to try.
Sometimes it's worth trying stuff like that.
I would just do what you feel up to until the op is over with like you say. There's plenty of room for you to catch up when you're all recovered x

Thanks Neen, thats given me something to think about. No cup of tea today? :giggle:Fill your pot up love I think we are going to need it! x

 

[buglady]

Hello everyone super dooper thread neen im sitting here with my both hands holding up high i would of seriously considered the full bypass but i diddnt have the 10 grand to have the op im still paying off the 6 and a half i borrowed!! I have struggled with my band from day 1 i feel ive been battling with it and testing it trying to fill my belly with pasta and bread and rice all no nos (i read when i was researching my band) i feel since my last fill i have stopped the testing and started to adapt to the smaller meals and beginning the new way of eating for the rest of my life! it took me 36 years of eating what i liked so now it will take time to adapt!! i still have the odd chocolate bar still i feel i will never be able to give that up but ive always said moderation and if i cant have moderation for the rest of my life then whats the point of diets etc i would rather be fat and thats the truth!! I have stayed the same weight for about a month now around the three stone loss mark im due to have a fill on thursday so hopefully that will give me a kick up the backside which will trigger the weight to come off more!! I have to say having the band was the best thing i have ever spent my money on( i sacraficed a nicer car to have one!!!) and if i hadnt had one i probably would be sitting here at 23+ stone instead of hoping to get under the 18 stone mark pretty soon !! ps im loving it at the moment everone on diets i know im never going to have to diet again just adjust to living with my band and smaller meals!!!

 

[Red 42]

Hello again

I hope I didn't sound too despairing on my last post, just frustration taking over .
I've not had a fill since mid July and have really needed one since the end of September, but due to port problems I've not been able to have one done. I think I've only got 2.5 mls in my band and have been hungry for months now, so at the moment I'm not losing but managing to maintain and keep the weight steady.
At this point 2 years ago I was 19st 3lb, today I'm 15st 1.5lb...4 stones lighter and I am really thankful for that!

a great thread...keep pouring out those cuppa's xx

 

[thinkbethin]

Hi Gaynor, I'm glad you didn't disappear, the reason I started this thread was to give a voice to us struggling banders who feel disillusioned and a bit weary of the long haul. I had a feeling I wasn't the only one who felt like disappearing from the site because I felt like I was failing. I hope that you don't go off on your own because I think that's just going to make it harder. I often feel like I better not post unless I'm losing and doing well but if anything that makes it harder to regain control. I just wanted to offer some help to you, not sure what but please don't keep silent about feeling unsure. I think it's good to honour our feelings about wether we can succeed. Venting your frustrations is healthy and clamming up and not asking for support is what led to a lot of my eating disorder in the first place. Medicating myself with food etc.
As for my weight loss so far, it's all relative isn't it? you are about half way along your ticker as well.
I personally feel like what has gone before with my weight doesn't matter as much as what's yet to shift and I feel like I'm just starting. I think pausing to pat myself on the back is a mistake as I have gotten complacent and I am not planning to settle on "half way is good enough".
Big hugs and give yourself a bit of slack because no-one would manage to be a saint on a diet going through the kind of problems you've had to deal with lately.
Stick at it and keep chatting on here.x If we can't say how we feel on here then where else have we got ? x

Thankyou Neen for your honesty and putting into words what I've been feeling. I really do need some help from you lot right now and did realize that keeping away was doing me no good at all. I'm back now and I really am grateful for the supportxxxx

 

[katstofat]

hy fat but not for ever ive not seen her or her husband since she had it done, walkden is one huge building site at the moment as they are building a new tescos and reduing the precint, a lot of the shops have closed so as there is not many shops at the moment and everything is a mess ive been going to farnworth, her name is mary and she is about 27st and she is usually in a wheelchair, one of the electric ones, her husband is only very slim but obviously he would not have been able to stay ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,kath x

 

[Neen]

I would just like to say thank you for starting this thread. I came across it today, and it has really helped me to realise that I am not the "bander freak" who is struggling with the weight loss on her own little island. By the way, we had our bands fitted the same day...what a coincidence eh?? I have not lost as much as you, and also will be coming into my second year after July. I thought 12-18months and I would be at target, yet still have over 2 stone to go..Its not easy, I never expected it to be, but then I never expected it to be this hard either and that has come as a shock. I am going through a really rough patch at the moment and am trying to organise a slight defill because my band is too tight. You would think with it being too tight the weight would be dropping off ... nothing could be further from the truth and I have gained 5 pounds in 6 days because I am having things that slide down easier due to the tightness of the bank. these of course tend to have much more sugar and bad things in them, but I just cannot tolerate anything too large. Once I get my band sorted out and have a little taken out, I am hoping that I can kick things back into gear, and get on with the final two stone. It is frustrating, I have and am walking in your shoes, I dont think any of us expected it to be like this. We all knew it would not be the answer to our prayers, I think we all knew it would only be a tool to help us in our weight loss journeys, but I dont think any of us expected it to be this trying. I certainly didnt..If anyone says that I took the easy route by having surgery, I think I would punch them as this is far from the easy route...At least we have this place and others that are walking in our shoes, so we know we are not on that island alone...take care and thanks again so much for starting this thread..
MNL

It's quite allright lovey! I was so scared to do it..I felt like "how dare I bother joining in" , no-one wants my advice and no-one noticed I wasn't posting..but then I thought, well so what? Someone might find something I say useful and feel a bit like me. Knowing the rules doesn't make you successful automatically. There's the emotional side and building your coping strategies ..sometimes it's valuable to get that frustration out there..we have such a fear of failing and looking like we aren't trying or doing it properly don't we? Some of us at any rate.
I know you have had some awful problems but well done for getting it sorted. Cross fingers that things will be much better for you now and I know you will reach your goal before you know it xxx Bug hugs and a cup o tea x

 

[Neen]

Hello everyone super dooper thread neen im sitting here with my both hands holding up high i would of seriously considered the full bypass but i diddnt have the 10 grand to have the op im still paying off the 6 and a half i borrowed!! I have struggled with my band from day 1 i feel ive been battling with it and testing it trying to fill my belly with pasta and bread and rice all no nos (i read when i was researching my band) i feel since my last fill i have stopped the testing and started to adapt to the smaller meals and beginning the new way of eating for the rest of my life! it took me 36 years of eating what i liked so now it will take time to adapt!! i still have the odd chocolate bar still i feel i will never be able to give that up but ive always said moderation and if i cant have moderation for the rest of my life then whats the point of diets etc i would rather be fat and thats the truth!! I have stayed the same weight for about a month now around the three stone loss mark im due to have a fill on thursday so hopefully that will give me a kick up the backside which will trigger the weight to come off more!! I have to say having the band was the best thing i have ever spent my money on( i sacraficed a nicer car to have one!!!) and if i hadnt had one i probably would be sitting here at 23+ stone instead of hoping to get under the 18 stone mark pretty soon !! ps im loving it at the moment everone on diets i know im never going to have to diet again just adjust to living with my band and smaller meals!!!

Hellooo! Aw I love you're attitude to the band, you are brilliant at bouncing back and looking at the positives and I envy you for that
I think that you raise a good point in how you view it all and for the rest of us it's really important to be reminded just how much more difficult (impossible) it was before the band.
I think when things are going slow/badly sometimes it's far too easy to slip into a depression about it and clam up. Thanks hun for your enthusiasm It's catching x Cup o tea and hugs x

 

[Neen]

Hello again

I hope I didn't sound too despairing on my last post, just frustration taking over .
I've not had a fill since mid July and have really needed one since the end of September, but due to port problems I've not been able to have one done. I think I've only got 2.5 mls in my band and have been hungry for months now, so at the moment I'm not losing but managing to maintain and keep the weight steady.
At this point 2 years ago I was 19st 3lb, today I'm 15st 1.5lb...4 stones lighter and I am really thankful for that!

a great thread...keep pouring out those cuppa's xx

Hi Yvonne,
I think sometimes, when you are feeling that low, just writing/typing out that feeling there and then is enough to allieviate it. Almost immediately, after hitting the "submit reply" button it can feel like a weight off..just admitting the problem and sending it off out there.
It helps my sanity anyway..just knowing that other people somewhere know what I'm blathering on about.
Anytime you want to express frustration it's welcome here as that's what this thread is for.
I'm glad you're feeling better xx Hugs and cup o tea x

 

[Neen]

Thankyou Neen for your honesty and putting into words what I've been feeling. I really do need some help from you lot right now and did realize that keeping away was doing me no good at all. I'm back now and I really am grateful for the supportxxxx

Gaynor, honestly..I am convinced that's where I went wrong last time...as soon as I'd had the first couple fills and realised I was just able to eat far more than I wanted I felt like I had screwed everything up. I was so embarrassed that I wasn't doing it perfect like others seemed to be on here that I felt I didn't belong..or that people would look down on me for failing at it. It didn't even occur to me that maybe I should ask for help...quite the opposite actually....I hid instead.
So yes definately stick it out and keep in circulation. It could make all the difference xxx Hugs and a big cup o tea x