Hello everyone, how are you all?
Well as most of you will probably know by now i have the letter with a date for my Gastric Bypass or Sleeve.
The date is the 17th February 2011.
I have not posted on here for ages now and to be honest i was waiting for my letter to drop before I would have considered ever updating on here again.
The past couple of months have been horrible for me, but i have plodded on silently and just thanked my lucky stars that the opportunity of wls has been given to me.
I have been very unhappy during the past few months and most of the the unhappiness has been caused because of the situation with wls, the up and downs along the way have at times been unbearable.
Im not the sort of person to shout from the roof tops when something is upsetting me because after years and years of being the back bone of so many people i have learned to cope in my own way, and deal with upsets in my own way.
I have wanted to run away and hide...I have wanted to cancell my surgery full stop...and i have not wanted to leave the safety of my home.
I stopped socialising, I stopped visiting friends, I stopped smiling when i looked at my children. I went to bed early, had no energy and I was very very unhappy. I hated myself and thought i hated everyone around me to.
I know deep down that i didnt hate myself or anyone else for that matter...i have never hated anyone in my life and i wasnt about to start doing that now...but this is just giving you a idea of how low i have been during the past few months.
I am a secretive sort of person and because of past issues i must admit i find it hard to put trust in people. I am a coper and a doer and very independant.
I have suffered in silence but i have managed yet again to come out of this smelling of roses, thankfully. Christmas was a real struggle with the children and family but i got through it and nobody noticed. (Smile while your heart is breaking) comes to mind.
Anyway lovies, like i said i am back now and feeling a little stronger these days.
Which brings me to today.
What a day its been haha.
The window cleaner came this morning and as he was just about to climb up his ladder i opened the front door and asked him if he would call back on Fri for his money as i had no change.
Whilst i was stood at the door the postman approached with a load of junk mail in his hand and also just one letter in a white envelope.
I came in and looked at the letter, then opened it, not thinking for one minute that is would be a letter from the hospital.
Well yes it was and i froze absoutely shocked as i had had no fore warning at all.
I dropped the letter on the table and with my eyes wide open i walked into the kitchen looked out of the window and said aloud...OMG....OMG, walked up and down for a bit too. haha. Mental i know ha.
I went straight to my mobile and rang my daughter who was screaming on the other end, and at the same time i was trying really hard to type a new thread to all my friends on here to tell of my good news.
Do you know i didnt even look at the date and when my daughter asked me i said, oh i dont know haha. I had to read the letter to check....what am i like eh haha.
Well mi lil chucks i wish i could say that its all over now...but as we all know this is just the beginning.
My nerves have set in and i am getting more scared as the day goes on. I am frightened like you will ever know. I know that these feelings will be absolutely normal and that its just another process that i have to go through but its going to be hard all the same.
My son came home from school and i handed him the letter and he looked all confused and then it suddenly hit him and i got a big smile and a great big hug...bless him, he is nearly 14 now.
I rang the secretary as i was asked to on the letter to confirm i had recieved the letter and to tell her that the date was ok for me.
There was still 2 before me on the list last fri just as there were at the beginning of Dec, she said that no wls had been done since then.
Well i start the milk and yogurt diet on Monday for 10 days and do you know what...i cant flippin wait haha. Never thought i would say that ha.
The sec said that this date is final except that if the day before they have no bed for me then she will ring me before 3pm...if i dont here anything from her before 3pm then it will defo not get cancelled and i have to be at the hospital for 7.30 on the 17th February. lol.
Im going to be on tender hooks up till 3pm on the Wednesday but its all part of the journey isnt it.
Anyway mi chucks thats all from me....and from now on my friends....THE ONLY WAY IS UP!
Im sending love to each and everyone of you for supporting me and helping me throughout...this forum has been a pillow of strength for me and has helped me cope during the past few months...whether you were aware of this or not. Thank you so much everyone xxxx
If you dont get your letter in the next week I would give the secretary another ring, just double check 
