why do dieticians think they know all but they really dont.

[Boblatina]

Hi

As someone else who also works every day with people who have drug & alcohol addiction issues I totally agree with what you are saying about food being akin to this!
Yes, we can live without certain drugs or alcohol but cannot live without food for our bodies but the association and craving can be just as powerful!

Kind Regards,

Isis

I completely agree with Bungle and Isis about food being addictive to some people but being harder to deal with because, whilst you can live without crack, you can't live without food. But added to this there is another problem in that this is an addiction where everybody has tried the pipe, and whilst they can't physically give it up, they can function perfectly normally. Because of this, they cannot comprehend what this addiction means.

Because "normal" people function with food the idea that people can spiral out of control is completely alien to many people - even, I am sorry to say - some professionals.

I have not had to see a dietician in the course of my involvement with a bariatric team and, I hope, that the dietician involved in this area would be as sympathetic as all the other people I have met on the team. (All of whom have been great to date) But I have had a few experiences of "non-specialist" dieticians in the past who have not exactly been inspirational.

Without exception, these non-specialists have been unable to cope with someone like me - grossly obese but at the same time highly qualified with a high IQ.

They have quite obviously had their sterotypes of what they accept and someone like me just didn't fit into them - it was so clear that they couldn't get their heads round the idea of a "winner" in a "loser's" body and their whole way of talking to me and "advising" me was condescending to say the least (Yes, I know that chicken has much lower fat and less calories if you remove the skin but it is sooooooo much more pleasurable with the bloody skin on it, isn't it?!)

Socially, food addiction is not generally understood by the public and, in many cases, by the professions (just think of all the horrible stories of attitudes and treatment we have had on here). Anorexia and bulimia are understood because people have known about them for longer but their flip side of gross obesity is not.

love

TillyBob

 

[thinkbethin]

Kerry hold your head high sweetheart because you are so much better than the dietician. Her manners are shocking and you know yourself you would never hurt anyones feelings like that. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with this one but maybe you could request seeing a different one next timexx

 

[julia in bath]

how terrible for you hun, perhaps jo bloggs down he road could qualify for her post? oh your fat, well dont eat so much then! pathetic.
Reminds me of an experience I had whilst at the fertility clinic being treated for PCOS after trying to concieve for 5 years. "well if you weren't so fat your PCOS would clear up" the fertility 'specialist' told me. In front of my husband. Luckily I had already been told by my GP that I would find it nearly impossible to loose a lot of weight with PCOS and loosing weight wouldn't 'cure' PCOS. She then sent me for a cholesterol test! WTF? how does my cholesterol level effect my ability to ovulate? if i was thin would she of ordered the same test? as it happens my cholesterol level was fine and i was a size 16 at the time (5 ft 7) hardly ginormous.
I was so humiliated i cried for hours, but i got the last laugh, my cholesterol was fine and after them messing around with me for 6 months i concieved without their help!

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

i think the dietician needs re training if shes treating all patients like this then i dont think many will succeed, put in a complaint, she obviously doesnt see deeper why we are the way we are through emotions and addiction to food, they are employing people that is not suited to deal with people correctly and they do not understand the emotional side to being over weight and how we come to be in that position, terrible treatment im absolutley gobsmacked to say the least.

liz xx

 

[kphorrox]

wow what a response to my thread.thankyou everyone i will be writing to the pct.
i wish i new why i eat for the sake of eating i have tried charts but never come to a conclusion,
had a good child hood,enjoy myself and family the only time i am unhappy is when it relates to my weight clothes shopping etc.
i would be more enthusiastic with the dietician if i was at the beggining of my hurdles and she was of some help.
but i have been fighting for some time the doctors are 100% behind me ive done medication diets the works .
it would be nice to ever see a dietician who has been through the run herself and understands.
thanks again for support...
carole thanks and you look great

 

[Bonita]

Sounds to me like this dietician is taking the.... I'm going to give her a boot up the backside...approach.

This is exactly the same attitude I had from my doctors (its a group practice and all of them were like this until my Neurologist wrote to them). It not good enough that some one in the so called caring profession can behave in this manner, I'm with the others and think you should complain.

Having said that (and please people don't take this the wrong way). Having been where you are now and knowing how you feel, I would say please be careful that you aren't building things up in your head into what they really aren't, I was so touchy with people when they started to give me advice about my weight and took things the wrong way all the time.

I'm afraid that Yummy Mummy was right (although I do feel she could have worded it better). This surgery is no picnic, definately the last chance saloon and not always the answer, you have no choice but to work with them if this is the way that you want to go forward.

There are reasons all these hurdles are put in our way, which although frustrating at the time, will become all too apparent for those that don't sail through their GB as easily as others, with this in mind and knowing what I've gone through and several others, I would say try and work with them if you can and make sure you are entirely prepared, because I'm sure in the end you will be glad of it.

 

[kphorrox]

thanks bonita.
i do understand what you are saying and i take all advice on board i have been doing hurdles for three years .
yes i do think sometimes i take things the wrong way and let my emotions get the better of me.
but i really feel this dietician seems to thinks that if she tells me to solve my eating problems now that that will work. it wont i have tried and failed so many times if it did work they wouldnt have much work.
any way roll on my next appointment (not) lol

 

[Caroline101061]

Hi Kerry

Sounds like she was taking the 'tough love' approach. Ridiculous - she is obviously not well versed in the mental complexities of morbid obesity which are numerous. I remember that your PCT are putting you through hoops before they agree funding and maybe a letter to them, complaining about your treatment might be grist for the mill? I would definitely complain to this person's superior as well.

 

[Lady_in_London]

Kerry, it is awful that you were treated like that and more so because she was a member of the weight management team and really she should have had a much better understanding. When you see the psychologist, as all NHS patients have to do before having surgery, he or she will be able to see how best to help you, because it may be a tremendous struggle for you to cope once surgery is carried out. The psych will give you coping strategies because they don't suddenly appear out of the blue after surgery, and you need to be taught how to cope with situations where you used to use food. I hope you have a smooth ride from now on and the rest of the staff there have more understanding. Let them know how upset you were at her attitude.

 

[sumayyah]

is there another dietitian in the team you could ask to be tranferred to?
just like all professions theres always a few who seem to be badly placed
my wee girls under the dietitian as shes very underweight. most have been brilliant but we had one who's only suggestion was to swap her home cooked meals for bugers and chips as they are higher cal and fat and maybe she just doesnt like my cooking. hmm so nothing to do with the fact she struggles with chewing, swallowing etc and all that fat sure will help her weight but not her heart in the long term

 

[fairyringuk]

Bungle I know exactly where you are coming from and thats the problem, people think that it is allright to insult and berate obese people after all isnt it their own fault??? For some reason society cannot see food as an addiction but it is and needs to be handled gently and professionally.
Would anorexics be treated in this way??? I dont think so yet they are just on the other end of the addiction with food scale.
Kerry your treatment was unforgiveable and unprofessional and if she had been in any nursing areas I have worked in I would have been horrified to hear she had treated someone like this.
We all know why we are as we are, and usually we have all tried everything to try and keep weight off, and usually unsuccessfully.
I would ask to see someone else in future, speak to your GP about it and if they are supportive they will see you get another dietician.
I am sorry you were made to feel so unworthy...........you arent Kerry so dont let the ba....ds get you down.
And Kate I presume if you had met the nice guidelines you too would have got funding for NHS banding. Going private is not an option lots of people have due to financial restraints, so in future think before you are so unkind to a fellow sufferer, you surely should understand.
Kerry keep your chin up you willget there x

Jay xx

 

[Snowcrystal]

They have quite obviously had their sterotypes of what they accept and someone like me just didn't fit into them - it was so clear that they couldn't get their heads round the idea of a "winner" in a "loser's" body

love

TillyBob

Tilly

I so love that quote "A winner in a loser's body"...It's beautiful!

(((hugs)))

 

[Snowcrystal]

wow what a response to my thread.thankyou everyone i will be writing to the pct.
i wish i new why i eat for the sake of eating i have tried charts but never come to a conclusion,
had a good child hood,enjoy myself and family the only time i am unhappy is when it relates to my weight clothes shopping etc.
i would be more enthusiastic with the dietician if i was at the beggining of my hurdles and she was of some help.
but i have been fighting for some time the doctors are 100% behind me ive done medication diets the works .
it would be nice to ever see a dietician who has been through the run herself and understands.
thanks again for support...
carole thanks and you look great

Kerry

No 2 people are the same...yes we (in this forum) are or have been overweight...how we got to the stage of obesity will be varying degrees of similarity...And don't forget the jury is still out on obesity having a hormonal and genetic cause...This would indicate that 80% of people who are obese, are through no absolute fault of their own...Of course, that said we do have some power to help ourselves and when we have tried everything else, we have to turn to surgery...It really is the last chance for many.

Shaw Somers summed it up when he said that in this day of political correctness if we treated ethnic minorities, or those of other faiths, gender or sexual persuasion as we treat fat people there would be an awful lot of people locked up...If there is prejudice in so-called professionals with regard to obese people, what hope is there of educating others that we are all human...and just because we have a bit more of a thicker skin doesn't mean that hurtful or insensitive comments can't hurt us.

I think that dietician found your vulnerable stop and dug in...Don't let that dietician get away with how she has treated you...She may know a bit about the basis dietary requirements of the general population but she should know that one size does not fit all.

You go girl...and good luck.

ps: I really don't think that Kate meant any harm at all in what she said..........we are a lovely group here in Mini's and let's not fall out...we all support people in different ways...some like tough love, and some softer approaches...and as I have said once before...sometimes you can read words but you can't read emotion behind the words.

(((hugs)))

 

[XlosingitX]

im so sorry you was treated so disgusting ..if you are strong enough do complain please xxx

 

[Roch]

Hi Kerry i 2 think its disgusting they way you were treated and i think def you should make a complaint about her.
I presume as ur doing a weight management then ur funding app has not gone it, if it was me i would def wait till my application has been granted b4 i made the complaint and then once it has been granted push the complaint all the way.
Take care xxx

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

So sorry you were treated this way. I have seen a few dieticians over the years and I too think alot of it is out of a text book. The ones I have seen don't seem to grasp that its not as easy as just eat these foods and you will be loosing weight. If it was that simple we wouldn't need the surgery or dieticians in the first place would we as we all know what we should be doing. I don't want to get into any arguements with anyone but I too feel that not everyone has the money to pay for their surgery otherwise I would be doing just that, instead of putting myself through all the emotional turmoil of trying to obtain funding. I think we just have to accept that some people can afford to do it and others can't even think about it. Hope everyone understands what I am trying to say. Take care everyone.