A Chance to Start Again

[Bling Babe]

Hi Parsnip! Thanks for checking in on me!

I'm doing pretty good, just playing the waiting game which feels like torture. My weight is still up 5 and down 5, but that's better than regaining the whole lot! I think I'll go back on the milk once we hit November just to edge me downwards before I head to Luton on the 29th November.

After a lot of thought I've decided to postpone the discernment/ordination process for the time being. I have so much on my plate right now with normal life and my surgery that there is no way that I can give it the time and attention it demands. In many ways it has relieved a huge amount of stress that I had been feeling. In a year's time I will meet with the director of ordinands to discuss things and see how I'm feeling but the last time I met him he said there was no rush and that everything that's been going on over the last year and a half (the surgery, my depression and all the upheaval at the church) are probably indications that putting things on hold for now would be for the best. I'm still leading services and preaching at my church and people are still saying how wonderful I am at it, so I feel affirmed that I haven't been barking up the wrong tree all this time!

My mom is going to be here at Christmas, which I'm so looking forward to! We're making all sorts of plans and it will just be great spending time with her. We've not seen her since last October.

On the 26th my husband and I celebrated our 19th anniversary, so yay us! Also, I will have officially lived in England for 19 years on the 2nd November. It's weird to think that in a couple of years I will have lived in the UK as long as I lived in the US.

I also am going from strength to strength in terms of setting boundaries and saying no to people. Honest to Pete, it's so liberating! I've put my foot down several times with people. Not hatefully, but I'm not letting people push me around. Not only that, I've also been trying to pick and choose what I am involved with much more carefully. In fact, I have said that after Christmas, I'll be finished with the church choir. It's something I've not enjoyed for quite some time now and it takes up precious time that I could spend with my family.

I hope everyone is doing well! Don't forget the clocks go back tonight!

It’s so good to hear from you Okie, I’m pleased that you are happy with the decision to postpone the ordination process, it certainly sounds as if you’ve made the right decision for you and that is extremely important, you’ve done great not to gain your weight and you next appointment will soon be here, congratulations on the long happy marriage too, it’s going to be lovely for you to have mum with you for Christmas, enjoy every minute,
Keep in touch xxxx

 

[Emma1504]

Great to hear from you. Sounds like you have made some tough decisions that are right for you at this time.
Congrats on 19 years together x

 

[Sarnie]

Hi Parsnip! Thanks for checking in on me!

I'm doing pretty good, just playing the waiting game which feels like torture. My weight is still up 5 and down 5, but that's better than regaining the whole lot! I think I'll go back on the milk once we hit November just to edge me downwards before I head to Luton on the 29th November.

After a lot of thought I've decided to postpone the discernment/ordination process for the time being. I have so much on my plate right now with normal life and my surgery that there is no way that I can give it the time and attention it demands. In many ways it has relieved a huge amount of stress that I had been feeling. In a year's time I will meet with the director of ordinands to discuss things and see how I'm feeling but the last time I met him he said there was no rush and that everything that's been going on over the last year and a half (the surgery, my depression and all the upheaval at the church) are probably indications that putting things on hold for now would be for the best. I'm still leading services and preaching at my church and people are still saying how wonderful I am at it, so I feel affirmed that I haven't been barking up the wrong tree all this time!

My mom is going to be here at Christmas, which I'm so looking forward to! We're making all sorts of plans and it will just be great spending time with her. We've not seen her since last October.

On the 26th my husband and I celebrated our 19th anniversary, so yay us! Also, I will have officially lived in England for 19 years on the 2nd November. It's weird to think that in a couple of years I will have lived in the UK as long as I lived in the US.

I also am going from strength to strength in terms of setting boundaries and saying no to people. Honest to Pete, it's so liberating! I've put my foot down several times with people. Not hatefully, but I'm not letting people push me around. Not only that, I've also been trying to pick and choose what I am involved with much more carefully. In fact, I have said that after Christmas, I'll be finished with the church choir. It's something I've not enjoyed for quite some time now and it takes up precious time that I could spend with my family.

I hope everyone is doing well! Don't forget the clocks go back tonight!

Sounds like a good positive post, you're doing things that are right for you and that can only be good. Congratulations on your 19 years wedding anniversary. Good luck for your November appointment. x

 

[Maria61]

Lovely to hear from you and happy anniversary. Hope you get on well at Luton and please let us know xx

 

[Irene44]

Sounds like you have everything under control hun. Happy belated anniversary. Was really nice to read your happier and stronger xx

 

[Jackiesfatplan]

Nice to hear from u love glad ur feeling like some of the stress is lifting

 

[OkieGirl]

Hey everyone, hope you had a fabulous Christmas and New Year. I meant to update this back at the end of November, but never got around to it. My MDT went extremely well and they were super pleased with my progress. I have appointments with the anaesthetist and surgeon on February 15th as well as an ECG, which is just par for the course. I've now got to get back to it and shed the extra I put on over Christmas. In all truth, I wasn't terribly careful on purpose, which I know wasn't clever, but knowing that this is the last Christmas that I'll be able to have certain things, I slipped into old bad habits. Ah well, tomorrow's another day and I'll get back on the wagon.

We had my mom visit over Christmas, which was nice but her memory issues seem to have gotten worse and it really does concern me. I've spoken to my sister about it and she's going to try and encourage her to speak to her doctor about it. The problem is, the minute you try to discuss it with her, she gets sullen and throws up a wall of silence and goes on about how you've hurt her feelings. My mom and I rarely fight, but we came pretty close to it one day because of this. At the end of it, I told her that if I didn't love her, I wouldn't be concerned at all and that all I want is for her to be okay. It's frustrating.

I've been off work since 15th December and there's a part of me that's ready to head back tomorrow and another part of me that's dreading it. We will see what the new year brings. I think once my surgery is done and I've recovered, I will definitely be making plans to find something new or perhaps training to do something, anything, that isn't sitting in that blasted church office. Once that link is severed, I very well might find a new church. I'm sick of feeling used and abused by them. My value to them is not in the fact that I'm just me, it is firmly rooted in what I can do for them.

Anyhoo, hope everyone's well and I wish everyone all the best for 2019!

 

[Sarnie]

Happy new year, things are progressing well for you, seeing the surgeon soon, so hopefully you'll not have long to wait now. Hope you can find a way of getting your mum to see a doctor, if not tell her doctor yourself so at least he/she is aware there could be something wrong. Good luck on the job front too. xx

 

[Maria61]

Happy new year and great to hear from you again xx

 

[Irene44]

oopseydaisy Spot on! excellent advice xx. Hope things get better for you hun. So getting closer to that precious life changing op for you xx

 

[Emma1504]

So good to hear from you
Happy new year & hopefully a new year for you job wise.
I too am a people pleaser but try as I might I can’t stop. The thought of disappointing or letting people down really is a struggle. I would rather forego my needs to keep people happy. Heres to trying to be stronger after our ops x

 

[OkieGirl]

Hey lovely, won’t be long now
New year, new you x

One of my resolutions is not to be such a people pleaser

Sometimes people take advantage x
Put your self first in 2019 x x x

Seriously, we have one life, enjoy it while you can x x

This is something that really hit me last year when I started to come out of my depression. I was able to finally see that wanting to make everyone else happy and bending over backwards for them was pretty much killing me. I've made huge strides in setting boundaries, but there's still work to be done!

 

[Jackiesfatplan]

Nice to hear from u pet good on u for standing up for ursrlf im sure ur opp will be soon theres a thread on here people having surgery this year theres a few of waiting for our turn myself included have a look at it

 

[_Victoria_]

So glad to hear your appointment went well! Not long to wait now until the next part of your journey

 

[OkieGirl]

This has been a really tough week for my entire family. Last Wednesday I took our dog Teddy to the groomers and when we got off all his extra floof it was obvious that he'd lost a lot of weight. So, I had him into the vet the next day only to find out that he had advanced kidney disease. We started treatment to try and help him out, but he steadily declined over the weekend and on Monday we had decided that it was time. Teddy, however, regrouped and was kind of his old self for a short while, but by Wednesday he had stopped eating and drinking and did nothing but sleep. It was so awful seeing him like that and so we knew for certain it was time. We are all heartbroken. My twins were nearly 3 when we got Ted and so they never remember a time when Teddy wasn't there. I have to say I was so incredibly proud of my boys in all this. When we took him to the vet, they all three came in the room to be there for Teddy. It was so quick and peaceful, but it doesn't make it any easier. I know this doesn't have anything to do with my weight loss journey, but I just needed to share.

Here's Teddy:


More on topic, I got the letter confirming my surgery date. I check in at 11am on the 10th of April. I've not had any information through about my pre-op appointment though. I'm hoping to hear next week when it is.

 

[Ian2Big]

Hi @OkieGirl
Sorry to hear about Teddy ,looks like he was a right character.
Good news on the date for surgery, hope your pre-op letter arrives soon, mine appeared 2 days after my surgery letter, despite been sent at the same time. (Royal Mail !) My pre-op was only 2 weeks before surgery and that was all the time i had to do the milk diet for.

 

[tranquil_butterfly]

I am sorry for your loss. He looked like he was a much loved member of the family. I hope news of your surgery date is helping with coping with your loss.

All the best.

TB x

 

[Bling Babe]

Aw he is adorable @OkieGirl, so very sad, I’m sure he had a very happy life with you all
I’m so so pleased you have your date, that is very exciting, my pre-op was the the same as @Ian2Big and just 2 weeks on the milk (mine ended up being 3 due to cancellation) your date is 5 days after my surgiversary, ohhhhh I’m so excited for you xxx

 

[Sarnie]

This has been a really tough week for my entire family. Last Wednesday I took our dog Teddy to the groomers and when we got off all his extra floof it was obvious that he'd lost a lot of weight. So, I had him into the vet the next day only to find out that he had advanced kidney disease. We started treatment to try and help him out, but he steadily declined over the weekend and on Monday we had decided that it was time. Teddy, however, regrouped and was kind of his old self for a short while, but by Wednesday he had stopped eating and drinking and did nothing but sleep. It was so awful seeing him like that and so we knew for certain it was time. We are all heartbroken. My twins were nearly 3 when we got Ted and so they never remember a time when Teddy wasn't there. I have to say I was so incredibly proud of my boys in all this. When we took him to the vet, they all three came in the room to be there for Teddy. It was so quick and peaceful, but it doesn't make it any easier. I know this doesn't have anything to do with my weight loss journey, but I just needed to share.

Here's Teddy:
View attachment 21510

More on topic, I got the letter confirming my surgery date. I check in at 11am on the 10th of April. I've not had any information through about my pre-op appointment though. I'm hoping to hear next week when it is.

Oh that is so sad, poor Teddy I'm sure he's left your family with lots of happy memories.
I hope you get your pre op letter soon x

 

[Maria61]

This has been a really tough week for my entire family. Last Wednesday I took our dog Teddy to the groomers and when we got off all his extra floof it was obvious that he'd lost a lot of weight. So, I had him into the vet the next day only to find out that he had advanced kidney disease. We started treatment to try and help him out, but he steadily declined over the weekend and on Monday we had decided that it was time. Teddy, however, regrouped and was kind of his old self for a short while, but by Wednesday he had stopped eating and drinking and did nothing but sleep. It was so awful seeing him like that and so we knew for certain it was time. We are all heartbroken. My twins were nearly 3 when we got Ted and so they never remember a time when Teddy wasn't there. I have to say I was so incredibly proud of my boys in all this. When we took him to the vet, they all three came in the room to be there for Teddy. It was so quick and peaceful, but it doesn't make it any easier. I know this doesn't have anything to do with my weight loss journey, but I just needed to share.

Here's Teddy:
View attachment 21510

More on topic, I got the letter confirming my surgery date. I check in at 11am on the 10th of April. I've not had any information through about my pre-op appointment though. I'm hoping to hear next week when it is.

So sorry about Teddy but great news about surgery xx