Help!!!!

[ceecie74]

Oh Lilac! You have such a sad story....I'm never surprised by emotional and physical abuse sustained by children by their parents, as I've worked with children in care for many years.

I am surprised however by the love and loyalty children have for their parents, despite mistreatment and abuse. My heart goes out to you and I hope you have made sense of what happened to you. It's very hard to love yourself, even when given a loving start to life. I hope you do. You are a wonderful woman and deserve so much happiness xxx

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Thanks Ceecie. Now is MY time ... And I am going to get on with it! xxx

 

[femfrankie]

I never realised how weight had such an effect on our relationships Frankie.... It really is a complex issue. My mother has fallen silent since I became smaller than her....which has left me feeling a little empty tbh. My father on the other hand is brimming with pride and keeps getting tearful.... It's so difficult to know how to reassure one whilst celebrating with the other.

I guess our drastic changes make those around them question themselves, which may be uncomfortable for them. I think my mum may be a wee jealous also, yet refuses to lose any weight and I'm too scared to confront the issue!! Lol

I thought we were all happy.....but my sudden spot in the limelight seems to have caused some mutterings.....not that I can change it, the weight is coming off and that's that!! I do so hope all of our families and friends learn quickly to accept we are changing for the better and it's not a threat. I think most of us just want an easier and healthier life.... There's nothing vindictive in our motivations to lose weight. What's all the bloody fuss about??!!!!

You sure we are not from the same family? lol my dad (step) is exactly the same & I feel that this has gone a little way to add to mums silence. Though I can't understand the jealousy if that is the case ..ffs he's been my dad since I was 5?!. The eldest of my younger sisters has her head stuck in the sand as she claims to be 16st but is very clearly a lot more and it's now beginning to take a toll on her health yet she makes no effort in trying to fix it and I do not want to sound like the smug B in telling her how to but my mum seems to think it's my place to do so?! Errrmm no! My youngest sister who had a Caesarian a year ago and is struggling a little with the baby weight still makes all the right noises but it's a little forced now and I can feel she is uncomfortable knowing that she isn't the smallest at the mo. I do believe however she and my mum are genuinely happy that I went for the surgery... I was a constant worry to my family beforehand. The dynamics of the family have changed a little and it's unsettling for them tbh.
I think you are right in that we are seen as a little bit if a threat but I struggle to see why? We didn't do WLS to be threatening or steal the limelight or anything else that folks surmise ...personally I did it for my health no ifs and buts and if people feel threatened and insecure by the new me that's just tough..get over yourself because I'm not playing that game baby.

 

[femfrankie]

Ceecie you are one lovely lady and the losses are so much more evident now x

 

[femfrankie]

I know from extensive psychiatric probings pre-op that my mother was to blame for my weight. She had me late in life, I was her only chance of a child, we both had a very difficult birth and we were lucky to make it. I was very underweight and poorly - she was told to feed her newborn to make her strong and 'healthy'. She did what she was told ... At that point in infancy my hunger controls were set ... At 12 years old and over 12 stone she took me to a private doctor to be put on amphetamines (Mr F is in his 60s and a world expert on bariatric surgery, and when I told him that he said that despite a working life in the 'business' every so often he would hear something that he'd never come across before!) and when I was about 14 she told me no boy would ever ask me out because I was so fat I looked pregnant ... My case rests!

My mum died on 22 August 2007 of lung cancer. She was 85 and had smoked 20+ a day since age 17. I cared for her so she could die at home. It nearly killed me too.

Awwww hun I can relate with your childhood I was told similar hurtful things like this too. But don't want to hijack Ceecies thread and depress folks further. I'm by all that now and have forgiven my parents to a certain extent but hubby was the only one that I told and I would weep buckets as I recounted every hurt word for word time and time again. I thank god for him being there.

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Wow ceecie looking fab xx

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Yes Ceecie ... You do look amaze! And you are right, we are doing this for our health. Which of course, does involve our nearest and dearest - in as much as we will lessen the chances of being a burden on them by lessening the chances of developing health conditions which might make us dependent on them. "Protecting biological integrity" is how my surgeon puts it. Also, they don't realise the enormity of what we are doing - it is not a magic wand. After my 12 month post-op review yesterday I went to work - the colleague I sit next to asked if I had a before photo ... I showed her the one I posted at the start of my "Six months later" thread on here. She went very quiet, then said she does not associate me now with that person - that I had changed so drastically physically and in character (for the better) that I'm a new person entirely. That meant a lot to me ... That someone can see what I can see, in such a positive way, that the person I was is no longer and the new me is fabulous. It made up for all the snide comments I know have been made by colleagues over the year as my weight has dropped. Now I'm stable they have stopped ... And I guess don't feel threatened ... What I'm saying hun is that our journey affects everyone around us, and do not let their attitudes and speculations take away from you the positivity of what is happening right now. The only people who really will ever understand are fellow bypassers - and we are all in this together, but once the loss leg of the journey is finished (if it ever is - but that's how I view where I am right now) they will settle down. Chin up hunni ... We are here and the strength of this forum just shows how great we all are. xxxxx

 

[ceecie74]

My best friend is awesome! She hardly comments about my weightloss.....she keeps reminding me "you couldn't get up the stairs", "I was doing your cleaning", "remember when your knee went in town and I had to go and get the car?"....and so on and so on.....

This is the best tactic to keep me on track. She knows I can't go back. I KNOW I CANT GO BACK. It's an amazing thing. In half a year I've gone from being housebound, literally .... To a woman who is FREE to go wherever she likes! I can walk for miles.....I can get up those hills.....I can skip down those little cobbled steps......this freedom is what makes folks uncomfortable. We are confident, happy and excited about life.....and those around us aren't used to it.

This weightloss is serious. Lilac is right, no-one can understand unless they are WLS patients themselves.

We are a special bunch!

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Well done ceecie doin great! X

 

[Georgie163]

Looking fab Ceecie and very happy belated birthday wishes to you x

 

[ceecie74]

Well ladies....it's not been a good time lately.....

I've been getting really anxious, not sleeping, moody etc over the past few months to the point where I had a bit of a breakdown..

I went to see my GP and he's prescribed Lustral, an anti depressant/anxiety drug. Apparently this is common amongst bariatric patients due to reduced levels of serotonin and/or loss of food as an emotional calmer/crutch.....??!!

I never in a million years thought I would ever need anything to support my emotional wellbeing and it highlights something very important. I had surgery with a private company. It all happened within weeks of my initial enquiry. I had no psychological assessment, no counselling, no real time to consider what I was about to do and the implications post op. I haven't SEEN any professionals since my op, had no check ups....
8 months out and wondering why I was so impulsive and couldn't wait to be treated in a more holistic manner by the NHS....

Has anyone else experienced this?

Hope you are all ok!

X

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Awww sorry to hear you've had a rough time of it hunni, I too self funded and have seen no one since my op, but tbh I prefer it that way also I couldn't have gone down the NHS route as I am way too impatient, fingers crossed the tabs sort you out and you are back to your usual bubbly self soon xxx

 

[terrilou]

I hope the pills help you out Cecee. I went the NHS route and was grateful for the year to get my head round things. You have done so well since your op though, you are an inspiration. Do you have a local support group you can go to? I get a lot of out of our support group, talking to others in similar positions etc.

Fingers crossed you'll be feeling yourself again soon. (Not necessarily in the literal sense, but whatever. LOL!)

 

[femfrankie]

So sorry to hear this Ceecie. I'm amazed that you have had no input from the your people.. Surely there was a package that didn't just cover the op? I don't know who you went with or how the packages work but there must have been some agreement set up? Does it not lay out what your aftercare was?? Go through it with a fine tooth comb hun and start chasing them up!
As for feeling down yes I do hun. Don't know if it's down to serotonin but think that is more about the drastic changes WLS has made to me which is odd because most of the changes are positive?! My loose skin really gets to me but even I know that with a start BMI of 68.4 this could have been so so much worse.
When my b12 is low, like now, I'm moody, tired but can't sleep past 4am, cranky, headachy and miserable. It may be worth asking what your actual b12 level was at the last time of testing as some GP's interpretation of what is low can be misguided.
Hope you start feeling more positive soon hun ((((((HUGS)))))) xx

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Aww hun. (((((((((Hug))))))))). Don't beat yourself up - lots of us 2013ers are feeling the weirdness which you've probably seen on other folks' diaries. I went private too - and am so lucky with the specialist support and aftercare I get. I did lots of soul-searching pre-op, and found my first 'audience' with the great man very overwhelming and emotional. I don't recall the hour's drive home from the hospital after, but remember I had to go to bed to recover as I was exhausted and drained. My best friend had his bypass on the NHS at one of the best best and most famous major London teaching hospitals and his experience was not great.

One thing I think we've concluded on here recently is that the head change is the most shocking to adjust to. If you need some medicinal support with that then so be it. Do you have access to your team now in any way? You should. My post-op care includes full bloods via my NHS GP (who we got onboard pre-op and has been very supportive) done 3 months, 9 months and a year post op. If they are fine, then yearly thereafter. Does your provider run a support group for bariatric patients they've 'processed'? Why not form one yourself by setting up a thread on here rounding-up folks in your area?

Sending lots and lots of love and light your way Ceecie. We are all here for you - and each other. xxxx

 

[princess4d4]

So sorry your going through this ceecie and hope you start feeling better real soon big hugs

 

[ceecie74]

I hope the pills help you out Cecee. I went the NHS route and was grateful for the year to get my head round things. You have done so well since your op though, you are an inspiration. Do you have a local support group you can go to? I get a lot of out of our support group, talking to others in similar positions etc. Fingers crossed you'll be feeling yourself again soon. (Not necessarily in the literal sense, but whatever. LOL!)

Lol no I'm not feeling myself...at the mo Terrilou!! Lol

I'm not really keen on the whole share and care thing....the thought of a support group fills me with dread.....I'm a strange fruit!! Good advice though, most people would gain so much from the experience and learn too!

Thanks for the encouragement Hun, I'm sure I will get back to my old self soon xxx

 

[sharon2014]

Lol no I'm not feeling myself...at the mo Terrilou!! Lol I'm not really keen on the whole share and care thing....the thought of a support group fills me with dread.....I'm a strange fruit!! Good advice though, most people would gain so much from the experience and learn too! Thanks for the encouragement Hun, I'm sure I will get back to my old self soon xxx

Hope you feel bit better soon love, defo check your aftercare package incase it offers anything! And there's nothing to be ashamed about if your having to take something prescribed... It can just be a short term measure

Xx

 

[2nd timer]

Poor you.

Do I recall that U haven't taken meds afterwards too? May have been someone else, but if it was you, get on them as the imbalance the body gets can contribute to depression, anxiety etc. hope you get some help.
Thank god you get support here! Hugs xx

 

[ceecie74]

Thanks everyone, you're a lovely bunch!

I'm actually starting to feel a bit better. I had such an overwhelming sense of anxiety and have been carrying it for 3-4 months. Thank god I realised how irrational my thought process was!

It is true 2nd timer, I haven't been taking my supplements consistently and I am still to have full bloods done as the last lot I did came back as not adequate. I've just let it slip and now realise this could have been easily avoided.

But in true Ceecie style, I always try to cut corners and get by on the skin of my teeth. I really need to change this behaviour. I'm so inconsistent at looking after myself, yet would never be so foolish with my family or friends. This is something I will work on.

I'm not eating enough either. Thus only 4lbs loss in the past month. I've got to get back on it, as I still have such a long way to go.

Thank you all for the support and encouragement. This really would have been a long and lonely journey without you.

Much love X