Help!!!!

[femfrankie]

Ceecie what a fantastic positive post. I'm relieved to hear that you sound so much happier and in a better place today
It's when I look back at how life was a year ago that I get a lump in my throat as I too was struggling big time. I also felt really close to meeting my maker and knew the next chest infection could possibly do me in . Morbid yes but sadly it was my reality. I have now been given a second chance at life and I intend to hold very tightly on to it and enjoy every single minute of it

 

[ceecie74]

Ceecie what a fantastic positive post. I'm relieved to hear that you sound so much happier and in a better place today It's when I look back at how life was a year ago that I get a lump in my throat as I too was struggling big time. I also felt really close to meeting my maker and knew the next chest infection could possibly do me in . Morbid yes but sadly it was my reality. I have now been given a second chance at life and I intend to hold very tightly on to it and enjoy every single minute of it

So glad you chose to LIVE Frankie, the world is a better place as a result xxxxx

 

[femfrankie]

Awwww thanks hun love ya too xxx

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Awe Ceecie thats a lovely post, I really think its holidays that brings it home to you as when we are in our own surroundings we having our tricks for coping, last July whilst on holiday I brought up the subject of WLS with my O/H I really wasn't sure what he'd say even though I know he's always supported me 100%, he was concerned about the surgery aspect but seeing how miserable I was on this holiday (couldn't walk more than a minute without sitting down - too hot to move - not wanting to go into restaurants/pubs incase the chairs were too small to the gaps too narrow)
We went back to the same place this year and wow what a difference I actually ran down the beach to the sea as last time I sat on the wall watching O/H down at the waters edge.

So glad you are feeling much better lovely lady xxx

 

[Ines4C]

Thankyou ladies.....yet again!! I don't think any of us can underestimate the power of support on this forum. Lilac and Frankie are right, no matter how loved we are in the "real world", this is and feels like a lonely battle....until you come on here and share. Sharing is the most important aspect of this journey for me. I feel free to be completely open here and you are all gracious enough to accept me, on good and bad days. You are honest enough to give me a good telling off when I need it and share your own weaknesses and mistakes. But you always end with encouraging words. It is priceless....and probably the main motivation I have other than wanting to make MYSELF proud. We did all sign up for surgery for different reasons and we all have different journeys....but we all share the fact that we said "I WANT TO CHANGE". I have changed.....dramatically. I don't even know how much I've changed yet. I still see the same woman in the mirror. Ok, I know I've lost a bit of weight, but I don't have any awareness of exactly how monumental my loss has been until I look at my weight loss diary. I look back at the figures and think "bloody hell, how did I lose 10lbs over Christmas week" or "was I actually over 30 stone? Maybe I got it wrong"..... I'm starting to question that I was even that woman who was almost housebound and who struggled to get upstairs, only ever once per day (I've been up and down at least 6 times already and it's only 08.30)....it's weird that my life is the same, yet sooooo different! The Lustral is doing it's magic. My chest feels panic free, I'm relaxed, seem back to my old self and looking forward to our holiday in a few weeks. Last year I arrived at the villa and didn't leave it until the day we came home. My partner went out and did all the shopping, took the kids to the beach etc. I needed him to help me get off the sofa, in the pool etc. we didn't sleep in the same bed as it wasn't big enough and I was too hot. I sat on a chair in front of the cooker to do meals. THIS YEAR IM A DIFFERENT WOMAN!!!!! That's how I know it is worth it. I'm going to post lots of pictures of me OUT!! Lol Love you lot! X

awww, really enjoy your holiday. Sounds exciting. You done great and you deserve this holiday. Hope you will have a blast... I know you will enjoy every moment now that you can get about. I know how it is, I was walking by the beach, running by the seafront, sitting in tiny cafe chairs and loved every minute of my honeymoon this year, it was my first "thin" holiday. sadly I'm visually impaired so can't see the pics, but looking forward to your account of how it was. X

 

[princess4d4]

Wonderful positive post ceecie hope you enjoy your holiday you so deserve it after all you have been through will look forward to post holiday pics

 

[nicola1723]

Hope you have a wonderful holiday lovely lady xxx

 

[terrilou]

Lovely post Cecee, nice to hear some positivity. I can't wait to see some more piccies. How quick have those 8 months gone? I wasn't even on the waiting list then, now I'm 2.5 months out. Exciting times.

 

[fatfree81]

You go girl.,. Enjoy your holiday every minute of it... you soooooooo deserve it... So nice to hear you up beat and grasping your new self... Inspirational for me as I am on this journey too but at the start so nice to hear real people with heartfelt struggles but surviving and it making them strong..
xxxxx

 

[sharon2014]

What a fantastic post, it really captured spirit of us all!!!

Have an amazing holiday, you will have a great time xx

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Ceecie - I'm loving where you are now. Such a relief to see you in a more positive frame of mind and defo, bring on the holiday! And all the liberation you will feel having left a whole small person behind! That is an NSV for you - one less person in the party! Amazing!

I know I keep saying it, but every day is critical on this journey we are all on, and I think TBH you have just turned a corner recently. You see, I remember the day when I realised I did not (and could not) associate with the person I was before. It was at about nine months post bypass. I am so embarassed by her. Every day I give thanks to the lightbulb moment I had on holiday in March 2013 in Spain (seeing my then OH who lives there) when I decided I would have WLS. I just didn't want to be that person anymore. He had always liked me big - but I was by then at 19.5stone too big for him. I guess I just thought "well, I must be huge if I'm too big even for a guy I've known for 20 years who likes big women". I hasten to add that I did it entirely for me and am so thankful for him being like that - and as it happens he's history as the new me wants more from the man/men in my life. We still talk but are not together - and now I'm too skinny for him anyway. Haha!

Yes, we are different people and need to acknowledge that this period of uncertainty and adjustment is scary ... For all concerned. But once we start to associate with our new selves it becomes exciting, if not financially challenging when we start to look like we're wearing our big sister's clothes, and the wardrobe also goes through a transformation ... And we can develop new styles. In my view there is virtually nothing I wouldn't feel confident wearing - I even let my bingos swing free at work today in a sleeveless dress ... Now that's unthinkable.

You are on to the next major stage right now Ceecie - we've all been there and lived to tell the tale (as Frances put it into perspective - some of us might not be around today without undergoing WLS). Yes, we chose to live - and live better more fulfilling lives! We are in this together, and sharing and supporting is the sole purpose of this forum. You are lovely inside and out, and are already saying you are detaching from the old you and loving the new lady emerging from the cocoon. That gives me great pleasure and anything I can say or share to help you, makes my previous existence and current continuing journey even more worthwhile. Having been those people living with the challenges of obesity can only make us better thinner people. Watch out world - we are coming to get you! We are amazing xxx

 

[pooh71]

You are looking FAB! Massive well done x

 

[ceecie74]

Awe Ceecie thats a lovely post, I really think its holidays that brings it home to you as when we are in our own surroundings we having our tricks for coping, last July whilst on holiday I brought up the subject of WLS with my O/H I really wasn't sure what he'd say even though I know he's always supported me 100%, he was concerned about the surgery aspect but seeing how miserable I was on this holiday (couldn't walk more than a minute without sitting down - too hot to move - not wanting to go into restaurants/pubs incase the chairs were too small to the gaps too narrow) We went back to the same place this year and wow what a difference I actually ran down the beach to the sea as last time I sat on the wall watching O/H down at the waters edge. So glad you are feeling much better lovely lady xxx

That's an amazing difference Butterfly!

I'm still concerned about chairs etc, but not enough to stop me from wanting to go out now. My changes are from a size 34 bottom, 30/32 top to a 24/26 bottom, 18-20 top. I'm no waif by any means, so leaving the running down the beach for next year . I know I've still got a lot to lose and am currently similar size or even still bigger than a lot of ladies when they commence their journey. Its really more about my attitude and willingness to try at the moment. I can do a lot more physically now, which is liberating, but I still struggle. I can do a leisurely stroll with the family and am starting to tackle gentle hills, but I can't go off for the day expecting to be active for more than 2-3 hours. I get very tired and am expecting the heat to dwindle my energy even more......but I can go to the markets, beach etc and mooch . It's still going to be a lazy holiday for my Ian, but at least he will have me with him this year!

 

[ceecie74]

awww, really enjoy your holiday. Sounds exciting. You done great and you deserve this holiday. Hope you will have a blast... I know you will enjoy every moment now that you can get about. I know how it is, I was walking by the beach, running by the seafront, sitting in tiny cafe chairs and loved every minute of my honeymoon this year, it was my first "thin" holiday. sadly I'm visually impaired so can't see the pics, but looking forward to your account of how it was. X

Ah thanks Hun! I will let everyone know how I get on xxx

 

[ceecie74]

Wonderful positive post ceecie hope you enjoy your holiday you so deserve it after all you have been through will look forward to post holiday pics

Thanks Princess!! How are you getting on? X

 

[ceecie74]

Hope you have a wonderful holiday lovely lady xxx

Thanks Nic! I'm excited! Lol

Are you still in a 10 missy? Xxx

 

[ceecie74]

Lovely post Cecee, nice to hear some positivity. I can't wait to see some more piccies. How quick have those 8 months gone? I wasn't even on the waiting list then, now I'm 2.5 months out. Exciting times.

Thanks Terrilou....time HAS gone soo fast, I can't believe you've had your op!!! How are you getting on? The weight must be flying off now!? Xxx

 

[ceecie74]

You go girl.,. Enjoy your holiday every minute of it... you soooooooo deserve it... So nice to hear you up beat and grasping your new self... Inspirational for me as I am on this journey too but at the start so nice to hear real people with heartfelt struggles but surviving and it making them strong.. xxxxx

Thankyou Fatfree!! I intend to do as much as I possibly can!! Keep your chin up, it's a struggle at times but sooooo worth it! This forum has been great for me, I'm glad to hear you are getting something out of it too Hun xxx

 

[ceecie74]

What a fantastic post, it really captured spirit of us all!!! Have an amazing holiday, you will have a great time xx

Thankyou Sharon, it's amazing how we are all so different yet share so much. We can become the women we want to be.....or someone completely different to our initial aspirations.....it's a very interesting and exciting journey . I'm happy to share mine xxx

 

[ceecie74]

Ceecie - I'm loving where you are now. Such a relief to see you in a more positive frame of mind and defo, bring on the holiday! And all the liberation you will feel having left a whole small person behind! That is an NSV for you - one less person in the party! Amazing! I know I keep saying it, but every day is critical on this journey we are all on, and I think TBH you have just turned a corner recently. You see, I remember the day when I realised I did not (and could not) associate with the person I was before. It was at about nine months post bypass. I am so embarassed by her. Every day I give thanks to the lightbulb moment I had on holiday in March 2013 in Spain (seeing my then OH who lives there) when I decided I would have WLS. I just didn't want to be that person anymore. He had always liked me big - but I was by then at 19.5stone too big for him. I guess I just thought "well, I must be huge if I'm too big even for a guy I've known for 20 years who likes big women". I hasten to add that I did it entirely for me and am so thankful for him being like that - and as it happens he's history as the new me wants more from the man/men in my life. We still talk but are not together - and now I'm too skinny for him anyway. Haha! Yes, we are different people and need to acknowledge that this period of uncertainty and adjustment is scary ... For all concerned. But once we start to associate with our new selves it becomes exciting, if not financially challenging when we start to look like we're wearing our big sister's clothes, and the wardrobe also goes through a transformation ... And we can develop new styles. In my view there is virtually nothing I wouldn't feel confident wearing - I even let my bingos swing free at work today in a sleeveless dress ... Now that's unthinkable. You are on to the next major stage right now Ceecie - we've all been there and lived to tell the tale (as Frances put it into perspective - some of us might not be around today without undergoing WLS). Yes, we chose to live - and live better more fulfilling lives! We are in this together, and sharing and supporting is the sole purpose of this forum. You are lovely inside and out, and are already saying you are detaching from the old you and loving the new lady emerging from the cocoon. That gives me great pleasure and anything I can say or share to help you, makes my previous existence and current continuing journey even more worthwhile. Having been those people living with the challenges of obesity can only make us better thinner people. Watch out world - we are coming to get you! We are amazing xxx

Lol....I do love a bit of Lilac when I'm struggling!! . You have been amazing, along with others....I'm not sure how my journey would have gone without all of your input!

I think a key thing for me, particularly when I had my wobble....was something I said to my GP. I was absolutely balling, saying I couldn't cope, I feel crap, I'm scared etc.......and then I blurted out "I LOVE MY LIFE, I DIDNT DO THIS BECAUSE I WANTED TO CHANGE IT, I JUST WANTED TO BE THIN!!!"
It's an interesting concept. I did want to be thin. But I didn't anticipate the changes that go hand in hand with losing weight. The difference some self esteem makes and how it affects my relationships with others. The lifestyle changes. The changes in my hopes and aspirations for the future. My capabilities. My hormones/physical make up and how it changes my thoughts and feelings.....it's exhausting lol who am I at the moment? I have no bloody clue Hun, I'm just trying to get by day by day and hopefully I will find a space I fit into that I'm happy with. It's unsettling, not knowing who is looking back at you in the mirror, but I'm starting to accept that I'm in a state of change.....and that I will find out who I really am in the months/years to come.

I guess really the weight kept me stagnant. I felt safe in knowing I was ok in my career, home life, family etc and nothing was going to change. How naive. It's not just about shrinking bodies....look at how your life has changed, it's mind boggling but soooo fantastic that you are happy and ( you lucky girl) a new set of boobies waiting for you!!!!

Thank you Lilac, you are amazing xxx