My Gastric Bypass Journey -Onwards and Upwards-Well this is a start

[tendersage]

mandy i can't add anything else to what the others have said, we are here for you and everyone on this site at any time regarless of if they are up or down. Many of us on here have had problems in our lives, after all we have comfort eaten for a reason... just keep coming back and talking to us. try to listen to whats said as sometimes its not easy to do or accept what is said because of past events.

 

[mandy-1975]

Hi Guys

Thank you all for your responses!!! I know deep down all of you are right in what you say, but when I am low it is so hard for me to take it on and do it.... as for loving myself not sure that is something I can do or will ever be able to do....

I know that it takes time, I keep beating myself up though that I am not moving faster...... keep saying how much longer....

Thank you so much..... for all your support

 

[mandy-1975]

Afternoon Guys...

Thought I might give a little update, I am doing ok.... actually bought a lovely size 16 top the other day from Matalan and it wasn't in the big range how amazing is that... it was a lovely purple colour!!!!!! have to say i did look good in it, just my boobs look so big now!!!!!!

Will let you know my depression, is still bad, but I am taking each day as it comes, am tired all the time, but i think half of that problem is not taking all my tablets.......

Am awaiting a call from the doctor as I always seem to have Thrush and it is driving me insane!.........

The other one, is for some reason I am so desperate to have a baby!!!! all i think about...... unfortunately hubby doesn't want anymore, i know i should be thankful for the one i have as it was speacial and a miracle but I can't help how i feel.... so that isn't helping with emotions!!!!!

as for the eating, i find i have good days and bad days!!!!!... but the amount i eat is so little tooo.........

sending you all my love, and to those of you that have contacted me thank you so much it has meant so much to me... adn actually keeps me going..... big hugsxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Sambucca]

lovely to see an update from you Mandy. Sorry to hear that your depression is bad hun. I do hope the cloud starts to lift fo ryou soon.

ON the plus side... wow at the size 16. Thats a normal size! You must be thrilled.

 

[mandy-1975]

Yes it is good, would prob have got away with a 14 but my bust, cause the problems......LOL.......but have to say i am happy with 16 so thats good

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Mands lovely to hear from you and look forward to seeing you in that lovely purple top one day lol....now for some motherly advice TAKE YOUR MEDS!!!! or else missy you need them and they will help you.....(((hugs)))....xx

 

[brett30]

been catching up on odd pages at diff messages .... so dunno where to start lol ....... first of all hello hun and well done at all you have achieved to date .. and wheres the flapjack cake baking woman i seen on another page lol ...

shopping is fab aint it when u find u can get in to smaller and smaller size clothes im so looking forward to that ..

i my self had one hell of a childhood i grew up from age of 8 in childrens homes till i was 15 and i ran away and have lived for my self since then .. i was abused and hurt from age of 3 .. i had such a hard life as i knew there was something diff about me .. i was gay !!

but at the age of 10 i never knew what it was with me all i knew was i was in a home with loads of boys .. nothing like the house pippa ran on home and away ( thats what i use to dream of as a child) it was a scary and hurtfull place i was a kid with many issues did not know what way to turn .. i was aboused by staff in homes sexually and beat..

i was sleeping with other boys at the age of 12 i was a rent boy by the age of 14 .. even to the extent of getting dressed as a girl at the age of 15 and selling my self on the streets till i was caught and added to child protection list .. didnt do any diffrence was just a list no one helped no one did anything for me .. i would always run away from the homes and do it again .. till finally i told my socal worker i was gay and help .. he then decided to tell all staff in home and that was it ... i had to run away for my own saftey ..

i went to newcastle at the age of 15 and pretended i was older .. started sleeping with men to find a bed for the night .. i got put in a hostel as they thought i was 16 ... and thats where my life started i guess ... i spent over a year in a church everyday i went there i dont beilive in god .. but i found it a calm place and friendly people ..

and the gayscene made me grow up so quickly . and find my feet and get on with my life.

there is a million more things to my story but i take everyday as it comes and in all honesty i would not change a day of my past for anything as its made me who i am today ..

i get one great with my own family now i love my mum .

i have a great partner i have been all over the world and lived in loads of places .. i find my self a lucky person.

im one of tho's people that others always say ahh bretts ok he always is .. im always smiling i never air my problems i find i solve them quicker my self than having to give someone else the problem .. and its the wrong thing to do a problem is better shared trust me ..

i think of all the good things i have in my life now and that makes me get on with it .. no matter what someone tells you or what someone does for you there is only you that can help yourself and do it for yourself..

if i find my self down i just think my god whats up with me get ur arse up and do something do the things that always make you happy bake a cake !! cause before u would of sat and ate all them flapjacks ur self but now look at ya fitter healthy attractive a good family and loads of friends who love you .. theres nothing that can hurt you now ..

you are the one making your memorys now so make them good and they will always be the things you remember in the future as your past xxxxxxxx

 

[Sambucca]

fabulous post brett

 

[Stupid]

well Mandy I don't want to be nagging or nasty but you should take your anti-depressants as obviously your dr feels you need them

i feel so sorry for you

mind yourself. don't feel guilty for being down after all your entitled to feel down[but deserve better] ..and forums are there to support people who are struggling..

you want your life to be different ..you want to be change the way you feel and be more positive and are doing your best you can do no more..

 

[charliegirl]

For Brett thanks for sharing your post, I am so glad you have found a decent life....xx

 

[thinkbethin]

hi Brett, YOU are one hell of a fantastic guy. Thanks for the post I too suffered abuse as a child but no way did i have a life like yours. Well done your attitude to all this is amazing and I want to give you the biggest HUG ever, love Gaynor xxx

 

[mandy-1975]

been catching up on odd pages at diff messages .... so dunno where to start lol ....... first of all hello hun and well done at all you have achieved to date .. and wheres the flapjack cake baking woman i seen on another page lol ...

shopping is fab aint it when u find u can get in to smaller and smaller size clothes im so looking forward to that ..

i my self had one hell of a childhood i grew up from age of 8 in childrens homes till i was 15 and i ran away and have lived for my self since then .. i was abused and hurt from age of 3 .. i had such a hard life as i knew there was something diff about me .. i was gay !!

but at the age of 10 i never knew what it was with me all i knew was i was in a home with loads of boys .. nothing like the house pippa ran on home and away ( thats what i use to dream of as a child) it was a scary and hurtfull place i was a kid with many issues did not know what way to turn .. i was aboused by staff in homes sexually and beat..

i was sleeping with other boys at the age of 12 i was a rent boy by the age of 14 .. even to the extent of getting dressed as a girl at the age of 15 and selling my self on the streets till i was caught and added to child protection list .. didnt do any diffrence was just a list no one helped no one did anything for me .. i would always run away from the homes and do it again .. till finally i told my socal worker i was gay and help .. he then decided to tell all staff in home and that was it ... i had to run away for my own saftey ..

i went to newcastle at the age of 15 and pretended i was older .. started sleeping with men to find a bed for the night .. i got put in a hostel as they thought i was 16 ... and thats where my life started i guess ... i spent over a year in a church everyday i went there i dont beilive in god .. but i found it a calm place and friendly people ..

and the gayscene made me grow up so quickly . and find my feet and get on with my life.

there is a million more things to my story but i take everyday as it comes and in all honesty i would not change a day of my past for anything as its made me who i am today ..

i get one great with my own family now i love my mum .

i have a great partner i have been all over the world and lived in loads of places .. i find my self a lucky person.

im one of tho's people that others always say ahh bretts ok he always is .. im always smiling i never air my problems i find i solve them quicker my self than having to give someone else the problem .. and its the wrong thing to do a problem is better shared trust me ..

i think of all the good things i have in my life now and that makes me get on with it .. no matter what someone tells you or what someone does for you there is only you that can help yourself and do it for yourself..

if i find my self down i just think my god whats up with me get ur arse up and do something do the things that always make you happy bake a cake !! cause before u would of sat and ate all them flapjacks ur self but now look at ya fitter healthy attractive a good family and loads of friends who love you .. theres nothing that can hurt you now ..

you are the one making your memorys now so make them good and they will always be the things you remember in the future as your past xxxxxxxx

Hi Brett, Thanks for the post, you are a real inspiration!!!!!..... not so sure on the lots of friends bit....... yes you are right I am the one that can change things...... and hopefully with the right help will, but is very hard when you are in a dark hole and there is no light insight.....

Thanks for your support

 

[mandy-1975]

well Mandy I don't want to be nagging or nasty but you should take your anti-depressants as obviously your dr feels you need them

i feel so sorry for you

mind yourself. don't feel guilty for being down after all your entitled to feel down[but deserve better] ..and forums are there to support people who are struggling..

you want your life to be different ..you want to be change the way you feel and be more positive and are doing your best you can do no more..

Hi

Yes the doctor may feel i need them, but when you are so low, it is all my energy to look after my son!!!!!!!

I don't want you or anyone else to feel sorry for me, and if I have come acroos like that then it was never meant to be....... I don't need yours or anyones pity.........

I try my best everyday! that is all i can do....... in many ways I do well, looking after my son, doing a full time job...... but it is still so draining

Thanks

 

[tesmaralda]

hey mandy you are also an inspiration to others proving that there is life on the other side of these things. You have a wonderful son, husband and family. You are a fantastic mother because you do your best for your son and love him even when it would be easier just to run away from it all, and you do have friends - peole on here who can understand what you have gone through nd will listen (well read your posts at least) when you need a shoulder. Big hugs to you (and these are friendship hugs not hugs of pity) speak to you soon chick xXx

 

[mandy-1975]

hey mandy you are also an inspiration to others proving that there is life on the other side of these things. You have a wonderful son, husband and family. You are a fantastic mother because you do your best for your son and love him even when it would be easier just to run away from it all, and you do have friends - peole on here who can understand what you have gone through nd will listen (well read your posts at least) when you need a shoulder. Big hugs to you (and these are friendship hugs not hugs of pity) speak to you soon chick xXx

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! sat here crying now....................Thank Youxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[brett30]

i just wanted to share part of me and say if i can do it I'm sure others could as i was only a child when i had to find my self and pull me together i know we all deal with things in our own ways and we are in no way the same as each other.

i still have my days.. what i have told you about my past was the bits that can be brushed away .. i went through so much more than that .. but that's not the issue .. even something small can make people down and depressed.. its not what who has gone through the most is in worse pain i know that ..

i find my self in London after living in Australia for many years and i have no friends here my other half works as a bank manager and i don't have a job cause of pain I'm in..

I'm in the house 24-7 most days of the week unless i have to go somewhere i do drive but my car sits outside for days and does nothing .. as i don't feel like being social or going out in public..

i was a mental health nurse lolol .. i think that helps me alot however through my life and what I'm going through some days ..

i hope and prey to work again and go out there i suffer from panic attacks too i don't like large groups or noises.. you would never think so meeting me cause i can be loud and fun .. but if I'm in a car i can not have music on and have people in the back talking cause i get confused ..

we all need a good friend we all need people we can talk too and that's why i think this site is fab cause not only are people here going through the same op's but we are all human too and lots of us have shared the same stuff in life that's cause its becoming more and more casual everyday for people to talk about there past and what did and did not happen to them cause its on tv all the time how we stem back to our childhoods and that's why we are fat and that's why we are this and that ... it all comes from somewhere so there for we have to sit and go in to our darkest secrets in hope that somewhere in that large dark mixed bag of emotions and hurt and pain and tears.. with blood and fear that we will find what it is that makes us who we are today..

but the way i look at it is i don't wanna find what made me sad i don't wanna know what it was that made me this way ..

all i wanna know is how do i fix this bloody annoying problem I'm having..

so i can have a so called normal life that no one has these days trust me we all have our issues no matter how perfect we look lol ..

i don't like pills and potions but that does not mean i don't agree with people taking them i have just had yet more experiences with them lol ...

I'm always here for anyone who wants a chat about stuff I'm down to earth friendly and open to everything .. i can talk about missed periods or anything you wanna I'm not shy lol ... I'm a poof a woman's best friend .. but hand on heart i don't mind helping anyone where i can .. and I'm on the end of a phone xxx

 

[Sambucca]

Youve come up trumps once again Brett. Cant rep you as need to spread it around.

And Mandy, more hugs from me too hun (((mandy)))

 

[mandy-1975]

i just wanted to share part of me and say if i can do it I'm sure others could as i was only a child when i had to find my self and pull me together i know we all deal with things in our own ways and we are in no way the same as each other.

i still have my days.. what i have told you about my past was the bits that can be brushed away .. i went through so much more than that .. but that's not the issue .. even something small can make people down and depressed.. its not what who has gone through the most is in worse pain i know that ..

i find my self in London after living in Australia for many years and i have no friends here my other half works as a bank manager and i don't have a job cause of pain I'm in..

I'm in the house 24-7 most days of the week unless i have to go somewhere i do drive but my car sits outside for days and does nothing .. as i don't feel like being social or going out in public..

i was a mental health nurse lolol .. i think that helps me alot however through my life and what I'm going through some days ..

i hope and prey to work again and go out there i suffer from panic attacks too i don't like large groups or noises.. you would never think so meeting me cause i can be loud and fun .. but if I'm in a car i can not have music on and have people in the back talking cause i get confused ..

we all need a good friend we all need people we can talk too and that's why i think this site is fab cause not only are people here going through the same op's but we are all human too and lots of us have shared the same stuff in life that's cause its becoming more and more casual everyday for people to talk about there past and what did and did not happen to them cause its on tv all the time how we stem back to our childhoods and that's why we are fat and that's why we are this and that ... it all comes from somewhere so there for we have to sit and go in to our darkest secrets in hope that somewhere in that large dark mixed bag of emotions and hurt and pain and tears.. with blood and fear that we will find what it is that makes us who we are today..

but the way i look at it is i don't wanna find what made me sad i don't wanna know what it was that made me this way ..

all i wanna know is how do i fix this bloody annoying problem I'm having..

so i can have a so called normal life that no one has these days trust me we all have our issues no matter how perfect we look lol ..

i don't like pills and potions but that does not mean i don't agree with people taking them i have just had yet more experiences with them lol ...

I'm always here for anyone who wants a chat about stuff I'm down to earth friendly and open to everything .. i can talk about missed periods or anything you wanna I'm not shy lol ... I'm a poof a woman's best friend .. but hand on heart i don't mind helping anyone where i can .. and I'm on the end of a phone xxx

Hi Brett...... sure you all want me in tears today, such a lovely post..... not sure if you got my email..........would love to chatxxxxxxxxx and be friends big hugs xxxx

 

[mandy-1975]

Youve come up trumps once again Brett. Cant rep you as need to spread it around.

And Mandy, more hugs from me too hun (((mandy)))

Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[shelbell]

Hi Mandy,

Sorry I haven't replied sooner, it's purely selfish as I struggle to think how to put things in words. See, I don't see you the way you see you, I see a caring, kind, funny person who has a lot of people around her who genuinely care about her. I see someone who has been very successful with the surgery, and has changed so much physically in a very positive way. I see inner, and outer, beauty.

I understand things are tough for you, and I wish I could magically make it all better, but I can't do that sorry You know where I am if you ever want to talk. I know I never sign in to MSN any more, but there are lots of other ways you can reach me

:hug99:

Shel x