SunnyJ band 25th October 2015

[sunnyJ]

Thanks Mrs b,


I need to track what I'm eating though again everyday to keep an eye because I haven't been doing.

today is weigh day ... Ive managed a whole week with only one sneaky look st the scales. I hadn't lost any weight though :-( even though my work trousers are definitely looser.

About erm 2008/9 I did a fad diet for 12 weeks and got down to 14.10 then went of track and put it all on again!

Last week I was 14.13 so not far off lowest then.

 

[sunnyJ]

I did have the guides bake sale last night and my daughter (she's the baker not me) makes gorgeous cakes and I had to have a fairy cake muffin she'd made - lush but naughty!!

Especially as I'm still supposed to be having mush, until sun!! It was very moist and light!

I've noticed my daughter was a partner in crime with my eating behaviour - we'd encourage each other to bad choices and binges. One of the main reasons I wanted to make this change was because I didn't want to harm her anymore by teaching her bad habits/ food behaviour are ok.

She's being amazing. She's more aware of what she eats and what I eat! So I was allowed only one fairy cake and that was too much! I'd usually have eaten most of what was left!!


Had to get the prune juice out again yesterday :-( I like it but it's a bit too sugary for me and sets off cravings but I need the help it's been days! Even the trusty old coffee hasn't worked.


Wishing you all a fab day ... Love to all xxx

 

[sunnyJ]

Oh more ... Sorry guys

I was advised to write things down and keep a journal -- great idea but in all honesty I've tried that repeatedly over the years (I have many books with a few pages written in then discarded- usually saying the same stuff ) and I never stick to it... I just don't. But this diary I am sticking to and using as s place to get out the stuff I need to (within reason) etc

So sorry if some/ most of it is rambling (I seem to be rather good at that lol).

Love x

 

[MrsBeaver]

Dont worry about rambling. I love reading your diary. I am the same as you....I start off well with a diary and eventually it dies off lol. And dont worry about your weight....first week of mush....I was the same for the last two weeks, gained half lost half etc.....seems that I am now on my way down again. Our bodies are still recovering.

 

[sundown]

You're doing really well Sunny! Meditation sounds like a great idea if it's something works well for you. I've tried it a few times but I'm way too much of a fidget - I find going for a walk through the fields calms my mind.

It sounds like your eating habits are changing. I totally recognised that guilty secret of actually being quite happy about evenings you had on your own pre-op where you could eat what you wanted. I used to find my mind drifting to what I'd eat that night when I had an evening on my own! I'd go into the supermarket thinking 'Do I fancy Chinese or Indian' and end up getting one of each and eating both!

Now I find my mind drifting to what nice film or TV show that Himself would normally hate that I can enjoy on evenings I have to myself.

 

[sunnyJ]

Tv shows sound much healthier sundown


I had my first uncontrolled binge today after broccoli soup ..:-(. So my son has decided broccoli is a trigger food (which I kind of knew). Strange thing to have as a trigger food but I just couldn't put the pan (I know how bad is that) down! It was whizzed up but then I had 2 fairy cakes ... So full I've not eaten anything else all day (this was about 12). I really hope I haven't done any damage to my stomach.. I've no pain just uncomfortably full all day.

I don't know what comes over me... :-(

 

[MrsBeaver]

I know how you feel....hubby was out from lunchtime yesterday, I was like a caged animal....moving from fridge to cubboard.....it was bizarre.....I think we just sometimes fall back into old habits....it will take time to adjust x

 

[kurstywursty]

Sunny. Thanks for your supportive message on my diary ;-) x

I had years of therapy for an eating disorder. Latterly the method changed and mindful meditation became a big part of the sessions

Mindfulness is the simplest concept but one if the hardest things to put into practice - but so worth the effort (message to self here)

Jon Kabat-Zinn has written books and has some amazing down loads for iPods etc. worth a listen

Good luck. You seem to be doing great

Blips along the way are part of the journey - stay strong xxxx

 

[Crystalrainbow]

so many think a weight issue is all about weight.... I have discovered over the course of this journey its not LOL getting your head in the right place is key..... once your there the weight is easy, trust me LOL good luck hunni your making all the right steps x x x x

 

[sunnyJ]

I think yesterday what I realised was before whenever I've done a diet, I could always break it when I subconsciously wanted/ needed a binge (usually to fix some anxiety/ or something)... But now with a band I can't do that!!

So what was bothering me....

Ok so just written a huge post about what was bothering me, then I deleted! But it helped to write it out !

X

 

[sunnyJ]

Thank you all for your posts. X

It is a journey and I can do this I can. I'm so annoyed with myself though for yesterday.

I'm sort of panicking thinking OMG what have I done to myself.., I've had a band but I might not be able to stick to the rules all the time... But I've had it so I need to!

Thanks Kirsty I'll have a look at that, maybe I'll do a meditation now X

 

[Crystalrainbow]

that's what will keep you on the straight and narrow yes some days you will get mad or down right angry you cant anymore but they get less and less as time goes on.... that's were the mindfulness comes in...... the need to stop and take a breath/step back before u launch into that binge..... its not always successful...... its so easy to shovel in a few 100 cals in a short period of time ..... chocolate is my go to...... but its easier not to have the stuff around to begin with...... the hate, eat, beat yourself up, eat, cycle is hard to get out of..... its best not to go there..... get out and walk instead or phone a friend.... write your diary it all helps.............AND after a short period of time that moment passes!!!

My hub made me mad this morning....the earge to hit the cupboard was there....although nothing in the cupboards (shopping needed) it quickly passes once I got on here lol x x x x

its all part of the journey...you will learn so much about yourself once you figure it out, its plain sailing x x x have a great day

 

[Crystalrainbow]

ps don't dwell on it..... huge smile on and move on x x x

 

[sunnyJ]

Thanks crystal ... X

 

[sundown]

Sunny - slips can and will happen. We can change our innards over night with the help of a surgeon, but we can't change our emotions and mentality - the same things will still pee us off and the same coping mechanisms will kick in. The thing is, your band is making you more aware and if you are more aware you can pause and either decide to do something different from usual or at least examine what you did and coming up with a different coping mechanism for the next time your head is in that space.

My go-to was always wine. Something upset me and I'd crack open a bottle of white and not stop until it was empty. Now I've not drunk for 6 weeks and I'm aware that when I do drink again, I'm going to have to be really careful not to let it me my emotional crutch again.

We will all get there - statistics are on our side when it comes to WLS surgery in a way they most definitely aren't when doing standard dieting.

 

[sunnyJ]

Thanks sundown X My go to used to be wine too but I stopped that erm quite a few years ago and seemed to have unconsciously replaced it with food, so now to tackle the underlying stuff.

Life is a journey and we're always learning about ourselves and constantly evolving who we are on this journey. I have a lot to learn about me and how I deal with the world around me and life. That's my opinion anyway ;-)

So today I'm awake and it's a new day so I'm going to start afresh. I'm going to read my diet info from my provider and hopefully have a better day. I don't really know what I can or want to eat. I'm vegetarian so protein is not easy as I'm avoiding cheese ( I can binge on cheese). Although I can probably binge on anything given half the chance. Hmm lots to think about. But I think I'll start with a cup of tea and riddling the fire - it's a bit chilly and frosty this morning


Hope you all have a fab day

 

[emmahc1975]

I've just discovered a veggie sausage made by tofurky, an American brand, each sausage has 20-25g protein. Ideal band food as very dense & tasty too. I partially like their polish style sausage

 

[sunnyJ]

Oo I've not heard of those before .. I wonder if suma sell them? Where do you get them? I'd definitely give them a go.

I'm just deciding whether to try sundowns banana egg pancake but I don't usually have eggs .., in fact there's none in The house (doh so no pancakes )

so I might try tofu scramble ... For breakfast instead.

X

 

[emmahc1975]

You should find them in a health food shop. There xmas roast looks good too

 

[traceyb79]

Hi sunny.

I have reprinted all the guidelines I can find for a gastric band so will join you on the focuses journey.

I am a veggie as well. I have been living off of danio yogurts which are good to get fibre in. I found a different one in adds last night. Arla protein. It has 20g of protein per pot. Not sure what it tastes like but I will give it a go,

Wine is also my crutch and I have started turning to it again so I am going to not touch any alcohol until my works Xmas party in three weeks as a start.ideally I want to stop altogether but will set myself little challengers first of all.

Good luck hon X