Why do people try and jeopardise their operations?

[Fat Again]

Why do so many people eat something they shouldn't so soon after their operations?

My answer to the above question is because I can. Where is it written in blood that I can't have a biscuit, a peice of chocolate or a glass of wine.

By having a little of what you like has not jepodised my weight loss, in fact it has helped me along on this journey.

Im so thankful that I can have the occassional treat, it makes me feel quite 'normal'

After a bypass I would imagine that it's impossible to go back to old habits and really jeopodise the process, speaking from personal experience I can no longer eat a whole packet of biscuits, a whole bar of chocolate, a whole tub of ice cream, a complete slice of bread, a whole plate of food, a whole bag of crisps, etc.etc.etc.

 

[gaelic girl]

I didn't qualify for funding as i did'nt meet my PCT'S criteria so had a choice forget about it or fund it myself. I could not have got a loan fot the amount i needed so took the emotional route of using money my late dad had left to me and the family. In my mind that makes me more fortunate in that i'm not even having to pay it back, that said it took a huge loss to be that priviledged. I have no problem with genuine people who need help for whatever reason getting their surgeries on the nhs but please don't underestimate the fact that mentally your addiction has not disappeared. It is there for life and what we need to do is use our tools to help fight that addiction regardless of whether is food, smoking, alcohol or drugs everyone deserves at least ONE chance to regain control. I never had my bypass not to eat the odd treat its part of my test to myself that i CAN do moderation and be in control. I had my annual check up yesterday and my team are delighted with 9 stone gone and perfect blood levels and health so i must be doing something right! We are all entitled to our opinions and also entitled to challenge these opinions in a constructive manner i do it every day in work without ever finding the need to make it personal. So lets keep that in mind guys when we have these debates on emotinal and strong subjects. Big hugs to all xx

 

[Grace]

delighted

I'm delighted to hear that at some point post-op I will be able to enjoy the odd 'treat' food wise. That is what 'normal' slim people do. They enjoy healthy diets but occasionally have the odd treat, be it food or drink.

That is what I aspire to.

But there also has to be other ways to be kind to ourselves.

In AA (alcoholics anonymous) people acknowledge their addiction, and to stay 'on the wagon', they know that they can never drink alcohol again. Because one drink will lead to another, and another.........

is gastric bypass or other weight loss surgery the way to beat this addiction but also be able to eat normally? Or do some people have to treat their food addiction in the same way alcoholics or drug addicts have to treat theirs?

I so hope that the former will prove true for me, rather than the latter.
But I guess that only time will tell.

I guess everyone's different?

Jaffa, you are completely entitled to your thoughts and your opinions, and I truly hope nothing I said earlier has hurt or offended you, because that wasn't my intention at all.

Well done on your progress thus far.


and big hugs to you. xxxx

 

[jaynefrances]

Apologies if i'm dragging this post out, but i didn't get online yesterday and would like to stick my nose in !
I am one of those who does not manage to live a pious post op life. I was a food addict before my op and i'm still one now. I fear i may always have this addiction.
The operation, funded by the NHS (although i consider that irrelevant) has meant however, that i have made great progress with my eating addiction as it now restricts the amount of "bad" foods i can eat and has also made it easier for me to make more healthy food choices.
But i am weak and therefore will often fall from the path of rightiousness !
What i love about this site is that most (not all unfortunately) of the lovely people on here are prepared to listen to me berate myself when i feel guilty about this and respond to me in a non-judgemental manner and be respectful of my feelings.
I usually feel that this is the only place i feel safe enough to share my failings and find that writing about it can be very therapeutic.
I know that the original poster commented that she expected some reactive comments to come from her post and naturally, because of the way the post was phrased, this is what happened. This could all have been avoided if the questions had been phrased a little differently.
Freedom of speech is a wonderful right that we all have but i'd like to think that on a forum like this, where people come to meet people in similar situations to themselves and feel supported, that we can do our best to be positive and friendly in our interactions with one another.
There is little to be gained by being judgemental towards people who are clearly struggling and its much more proactive to offer constructive advice than to make them feel even worse than they already do.
Most of us face critiscism from others outside of this site and i therefore think that this should be a safe haven where we can be honest about our shortfalls without the fear of recrimination.

 

[thinnerangela]

I too can't understand how people put on loads of weight following WLS.

I was a saint for the first 12 months post-op - I ate only what I should - since then the odd bit of chocolate and the odd cake have crept in - both give me the dreaded DS tum - SO I'm not a saint and my halo is a bit tarnished - and I have a sore bottom!!

We all have different reasons for over-eating and personally I feel there isn't enough therapy given to analyse bad eating habits - I know I wasn't and am not addicted to food - I believe firmly there is an addictive personality and I don't have it.

I don't think it makes a jot of difference whether one paid for ones op or had it on the NHS - there is no way I could have paid for my op - I haven't worked since 1985 since being retired form the NHS on health grounds following a back injury.

WLS is a tool - not a cure for obesity - and as such has to be used as a tool - we all knew what we SHOULD have been eating and how much we should have exercised beforehand - knowing and doing are not always possible.

ON the other topic - liver transplants and alcoholics - or liver transplants and drug addicts for that matter - please don't assume all alcoholics that have transplants go back to drinking.

Hubby had to stop drinking for a year before he was considered for his - undergoing extremely random blood alcohol tests - one strike and you're out - and sign a contract to say he would never drink again. He waited 18 months for the call to come and received a liver that was not first quality from someone who unfortunately was diagnosed with cancer post death. Just means annual scans for us for 5 years as it doesn't directly affect hubby.

Hubby hasn't had a drink for 4 years - and admits he never realised how ill he was before his op

Having said all this NO-ONE will ever know how grateful we are to his donor's family.

I think its good to have these contentious debates

Angela

 

[Bev]

Dear Jayne and Angela,

I am so pleased that you have both raised your views, which reflect my sentiments on this posting...

Having worked for many years in a mental health setting, I could not agree more that resources should be directed to the psychological needs of individuals either through addiction or by choice...

Very often the needs of patients are not considered important if a plaster cannot be seen and put upon the body... when it comes to the mind... people are often subdued or medicated since that is the easy way out...

From my experience, a forum such as this, which gently supports on the days when we are feeling 'fragile' and we all have our 'fragile' days can play a vital part of the social network situation pre and post op...

I am learning continually from others on this site and have received overwhelming support and references to any questions...

The important factor concerning this website is that the majority of us show a mutual respect and as Mixxy rightly said earlier 'understanding' and if there is one word that I wish could be emphasised it is that word... since most avenues of respect, thought etc etc.. have to have 'understanding'...

Please never feel unable to raise any question or point, since I for one would go out of my way to try and show understanding and a balanced response.

With much love and good luck... as we all walk together on our respective journies xxx

 

[keeley86]

Keeley86...... I didn't try and go down the NHS route I just rang my provider and booked it, I wouldn't have been big enough to get funding as far as I know you have to have a BMI of over 60 with co-morbidities etc so believe me there is no bitterness to those who have had it funded by the NHS!! Comments like that make me laugh because it seems to be peoples only argument to those of us who went private!

Jaffa.... its not peoples only argument at all and i wasnt refering to "those" that have had it done privately i was refering to you and what must have been going through your head when you started this thread as it came across very bitter. your the one that has put us all in the middle of an NHS vs Private war! and its wrong! so i am glad that this makes you laugh because im sure that no one is laughing. the question you was asking should have been asked to all regardless of how its been funded! because to be quite honest with you how anybodys WLS has been funded doesnt even enter my head in this way when reading and posting on this site.
maybe after reading everyones responses on here you can be more "understanding" and "supportive" in the future. because after all......this is a support forum and you shouldnt be trying to make people feel bad for having a bad day.
enough said! i hope you got your answers you were looking for

 

[phatmomma]

This has been a contentious debate, the main message i got was those who had the nhs operations shouldn't eat anything that is not full of nutritional value... Does that mean if we go private we can eat the same old crap as before without being judged by the people on here i like to think of as friends?

Oh heck i dont have the cash to go and pay for my op now, but if i win the lottery i'll pay for someone on here to have their op and that way were equal and i can have a biscuit if the urge arises.....

Oh yes, and i can eat a whole slice of bread, i could probably manage a little bit more than one but on the very rare occasion i may have a sandwich/toastie/wrap i always ensure i don't eat to restriction as i try and avoid carbs...

 

[PoppyCorn]

This has been a contentious debate, the main message i got was those who had the nhs operations shouldn't eat anything that is not full of nutritional value... Does that mean if we go private we can eat the same old crap as before without being judged by the people on here i like to think of as friends?

Julie, that's what I got from the original post. Not that jepordising your bypass was the issue, but that if you had an NHS op 'How dare you!'. Which is where I took exception.

Saying that because someone had NHS funding they're less human (to err is human after all) just seemed redonkculous.

If Jaffa meant to ask why we all sometimes stumble and make mistakes, then that's a perfectly valid question, which I think has been answered - several times .

 

[k8y bear]

Well i thought i might add my sixpence worth whilst i'm at it.

People make mistake regardless of funding, and a person shouldn't be made to feel a less deserving part of society because "shame of all shame" they have had NHS funding, and have fallen back into a bad habbit once or twice.

Your first comment came accross as a tad elitist if i dare say, which is a shame.

I ate myself into the body that i have at the moment, I know i have caused a lot of my own problems, i would have loved to fund myself but having a psychiatric condition and physical predicaments, working part time just doesn't bring the funds in.

Most of my life i have lived in personal torment and self loathing, which ment i either self harmed or over ate, which culminated a few times in suicide attempts. Does this mean that i am less deserving of psychiatric help as it is on the NHS as i had since tried to kill myself?? I think not.

I hope and pray that if i have a "dip" in my moods after my op that i dont self medicate with food, the wrong sort, But even if i do, i know there are people out there, such as the people on this site, who understand and do not judge.

Your second post looks as though you have a total diffusion of responsibility about your comment jaffa, I'm sorry my lovely, you were the one that made the distinction between NHS and private,
It does look as though you have lit the fuse and watched to see how it will blow.

Please understand that when comments made like this, people will react, It's almost as if you were saying NHS are less deserving inept gluttons. Good luck to EVERYBODY how ever funded on their journey. :grouphugg:

 

[Bev]

There is no mileage in anyone putting another down... we are all in the same boat and we all struggle from time to time, we are not programmed machines.

I really think that understanding and tolerance of other people's situations is most important, I for one would not want to see any of my friends on here put down, or hurt in any way, since loss of confidence with weight issues is an enormous problem on it's own.

Calling for some care and understanding for others and hoping that this thread does not leave any negative lesions... opinions will always vary, but the majority of us do try our best to show extreme understanding and thoughtfulness.

With much love to my precious friends on here xxx

 

[cherry]

very well said bev x

 

[gaelic girl]

Bev you think like me maybe it is our jobs that teach us that. It has been a heated debate and an emotional one but its nice to see that the majority have managed to keep it objective and not made it personal. We are all in this together. Big hugs to everyone xx

 

[Bev]

Absolutely, there is no point having a 'target practice' every situation stands upon it's own merit... the main thing is that everyone has something to bring to this forum, no matter what that is, our journeys are destinations which will be arrived at from differing directions, but the majority of us have our 'fragile' moments... inc., you Jaffa...

Where ever you are and what ever you are doing, make yourself feel better... it can be done and if you feel damn angry... go and get on the treadmill and work it off!

xxx

 

[Bev]

Positive thoughts...

The good you find in others, is in you too.
The faults you find in others, are your faults as well.
After all, to recognize something you must know it.
The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well.
The beauty you see around you, is your beauty.
The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are.
To change your world, you must change yourself.
See the best in others, and you will be your best.

 

[k8y bear]

There is no mileage in anyone putting another down... we are all in the same boat and we all struggle from time to time, we are not programmed machines.

I don't think i put anyone down Bev...At least i didn't mean to? Or is this my guilty conscience? lol
xx

 

[Bev]

My point is that wherever possible, one thing that we have in common is that many of us have great sensitivity which requires an 'understanding'...

I would not want to see any of my supportive friends on this website hurt, in any way or made to feel that they are unable to come forward and say how they feel.

Thanks xxx

 

[yorkiegal]

Why do people continue to eat the wrong foods after surgery?

As a pre-opper I can only guess but I would imagine it's because a long term addiction to food doesn't go away overnight. After all, if we were able to make the right food choices we wouldn't be having the op in the first place. Would any of us really choose risky surgery, a lifetime of taking supplements, chances of getting a hernia, post op complications, etc etc, if there was any other way to lose weight?

When I first came to this site I was of the same opinion as the first poster. I couldn't believe that people were sabotaging their surgery so early on. But from reading those posts over the last few months, plus having therapy myself, I've come to understand it a lot more. If anything it has helped me a lot to prepare for my own wls journey. If I'd gone into this with the mindset that I will be perfect post op and will never lapse, I think I would risk setting myself up for depression and a huge sense of failure. But instead I can read the posts and realise that we nearly all lapse occasionally. As a binge eater I was lapsing every day. Post therapy that is happening a lot less and hopefully post op will be even rarer. I'm going to go into it with the best intentions and if and when I lapse I will treat it as one incident and get back on track again, and I'm damned if I'm going to blanket myself with guilt each time because all that does is make each lapse last longer and feel worse.

Re the references to drug users and methadone etc. When you criticise them for their lifestyle aren't you just doing the same as the people who say George Bests alcohol addiction can't be compared to our food addiction? They are all addictions, they just have different impacts on other people, such as anti social behaviour or an inability to work perhaps. The unemployed heroin addict has just as much right to nhs treatment as the unemployed (due to their physical fitness) obese food addict. Many of us became addicted to food due to emotional problems. We could just have easily have become addicted to something else, in fact we may have in the past.

 

[k8y bear]

Get over it K8.

A tad harsh me thinks??? Much love xx

 

[Bev]

Enjoy your day and much love to you too! xxx