Yvessa
Well-Known Member
thanks hon, but honesty that's why I see.
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Yve's Photo Diary - 4 years on
- Thread starter Yvessa
- Start date
A.Positive
New Member
Oh Yve, I so wish for you to be able to see the truth and I know in time and with help you will.
You really do amazing!
You really do amazing!
Bally
Well-Known Member
I'm sure you do, but it's not what we see.
We see a very brave lady who has lost another her (in weight) in the last two years.
Please acknowledge your wonderful success, Yve!
Lilacglittergirl
Fit and fantastic!
Yve - it's about what you have achieved. And that is awesome. After drastic weightloss we all face coming to terms with being thin with body issues. Especially so for superlosers. I do understand that for you, you might be unhappy in yourself, but can assure you that is not what other people see. I know there are parts of me that are not 'perfect' (and, yes I had my boobs done as I couldn't come to terms with the loss, even after processing the breast cancer scare in August) but I am a jolly sight more attractive than I was at size 24! The bits I don't like are only on display when I'm naked or partially clothed ... Let's celebrate our achievements and not get too hung-up on the negatives. I conclude there are millions across the world who have come to terms with body changes much more challenging than loose skin xxxxxx
emma-louise
my new life!!
Are you ok yvessa? You don't seem yourself..
You really have done amazing,..but I understand where your coming from.
I definetly don't see myself as my new small size..and looking at my loose skin makes it worse for me.
But how can I be big still when I'm fitting in 12s...smaller in some items.
I think in the early days of weightloss I did feel smaller..now I am just plodding and just getting on with it.
I still find it hard to adjust in so many ways still..even after all these years.
Yvessa
Well-Known Member
Thanks guys. In all honesty Emma, I'm not sure I am okay. Like you I know that my clothes say I'm smaller. But for some reason I just can't see it. I have been to my team and have an appt with the psychologist for body image issues. I have to admit I thought size 12/14 was the holy grail when I started this journey. But it does not seem to be as easy as I thought it would be.
ceecie74
New Member
I really feel for you Yve....I'm sure like me, you thought getting down to a size 12/14 would be the end to all weight related issues and you would be much happier. I'm starting to realise drastic weightloss creates a whole new set of problems!
I'm glad to hear you are seeking professional help and admire you immensely for sharing your journey so openly. You are an inspiration and beautiful. I hope you resolve this issue swiftly. You deserve to FEEL extremely proud and pleased with yourself and your new reflection.
X
I'm glad to hear you are seeking professional help and admire you immensely for sharing your journey so openly. You are an inspiration and beautiful. I hope you resolve this issue swiftly. You deserve to FEEL extremely proud and pleased with yourself and your new reflection.
X
femfrankie
Shrinking For Sophie
I really understand where you are coming from Yve. In my minds eye I'm still huge even though my clothes tell me something different but intermingled in all of that I get periods of absolute clarity where I do feel and look skinny. It's utterly confusing and mind warping at times. I can only put my trust and faith in those close to me as they give reassurance that yes I really am skinny.
Don't sell your soul for anything Yve, loose skin is indeed the devil's burden, Never saw it coming that it would upset me so much. I was lucky to be able to afford to have it removed but then along comes something else to not be happy with or regain starts and you have the added fear that will ruin the plastics. Really it comes down to getting your head in the right space. That is the right space for you not anyone else. Keep on tackling your issues, then everything will fall into place. Good luck you have done brilliantly just got a little more work before you can settle and enjoy it but it will come.
A.Positive
New Member
This breaks my heart. I really do feel for you and can fully appreciate where you are coming from. Your brain just feels full with it and there is no way for you to escape... Yet! You will get there, once you have the tools in place and be happier. I agree with CCPM, regarding having something else to worry about once the plastics are done with. Heal yourself inwardly first. Xx
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Bally
Well-Known Member
Sorry to read you are unhappy, Yve.
I agree with CCPM and I'm not sure I will ever be happy with my new self. It's like I'm sabotaging my own happiness.
I was chuffed with my weight loss until I went to the second plastic consultation (a couple of week ago) where they told me I scored 25 over 30 on the Pittsburgh scale (Post-Bariatric Body Contouring: A Classification of Contour Deformities after Massive Weight Loss: Application of the Pittsburgh Rating Scale). I had scored 18/30 at the first consultation in June so I gather that my skin sagged badly between June and October. I now know that I have terrible skin problems. A plastic surgeon told me.
But now I'm not even sure I want the plastics done. I have my bingo wings op booked for November 13th on NHS (I know I'm very very lucky) but I cannot make a decision. I'm worrying about scars. What if the scars are worse than my saggy, wrinkled bingo wings?
As CCPM said, we will always find something we don't like. We are used to not liking ourselves and our brain continues to use the same old schemes.
I hope it's only a matter of time, and I hope it from my heart for all of us that have come from a very long and hard journey.
I agree with CCPM and I'm not sure I will ever be happy with my new self. It's like I'm sabotaging my own happiness.
I was chuffed with my weight loss until I went to the second plastic consultation (a couple of week ago) where they told me I scored 25 over 30 on the Pittsburgh scale (Post-Bariatric Body Contouring: A Classification of Contour Deformities after Massive Weight Loss: Application of the Pittsburgh Rating Scale). I had scored 18/30 at the first consultation in June so I gather that my skin sagged badly between June and October. I now know that I have terrible skin problems. A plastic surgeon told me.
But now I'm not even sure I want the plastics done. I have my bingo wings op booked for November 13th on NHS (I know I'm very very lucky) but I cannot make a decision. I'm worrying about scars. What if the scars are worse than my saggy, wrinkled bingo wings?
As CCPM said, we will always find something we don't like. We are used to not liking ourselves and our brain continues to use the same old schemes.
I hope it's only a matter of time, and I hope it from my heart for all of us that have come from a very long and hard journey.
A.Positive
New Member
Yve, it is easy for your mum to make such comments because she is so close to you and she looks at you "in that way". Perhaps she feels she is being helpful in some way? Whatever, those kinds of comments are so unhelpful.
As a regular Joe, passing you in the street, I would look at you and see a well dressed, thirty something lady and nothing else. If I took the time to scrutinise your appearance for some reason, I would see a tummy yes, but I wouldn't think anything of it. Many, many ladies have tummy's (I do at 7 stone 8lbs and a bag of bones. I even had it prior to my 11 stone weightloss due to birthing big babies) and that is just how nature has dealt with us. I would never look at you and think or say anything derogatory; not because I am not that way inclined but because there truly is nothing to think and nothing to say. I know that no matter what we say and how many times we say it, this will all be something that you have to come to terms with in your own time and way.
Please be mindful of how much weight you are trying to loose also. Even though I could not eat and my weightloss could not be controlled (by anything I did), I was chasing that "magic" number. I felt that 10 stone was a good weight to be, until I hit 10 stone and it wasn't enough. I was thrilled I could not eat because I could keep losing and fast. I could see the numbers drop on the scale and my rational brain could look at those numbers and know I was becoming too thin, but the body I saw in the mirror just didn't correspond. I can see it now though and I dislike it very much. I look like a small child and have been told as much. People visit us and look horrified when I open the door but don't want to say anything for fear of upsetting me.
You cannot diet the loose skin away Yve. Please, please take care. xx
As a regular Joe, passing you in the street, I would look at you and see a well dressed, thirty something lady and nothing else. If I took the time to scrutinise your appearance for some reason, I would see a tummy yes, but I wouldn't think anything of it. Many, many ladies have tummy's (I do at 7 stone 8lbs and a bag of bones. I even had it prior to my 11 stone weightloss due to birthing big babies) and that is just how nature has dealt with us. I would never look at you and think or say anything derogatory; not because I am not that way inclined but because there truly is nothing to think and nothing to say. I know that no matter what we say and how many times we say it, this will all be something that you have to come to terms with in your own time and way.
Please be mindful of how much weight you are trying to loose also. Even though I could not eat and my weightloss could not be controlled (by anything I did), I was chasing that "magic" number. I felt that 10 stone was a good weight to be, until I hit 10 stone and it wasn't enough. I was thrilled I could not eat because I could keep losing and fast. I could see the numbers drop on the scale and my rational brain could look at those numbers and know I was becoming too thin, but the body I saw in the mirror just didn't correspond. I can see it now though and I dislike it very much. I look like a small child and have been told as much. People visit us and look horrified when I open the door but don't want to say anything for fear of upsetting me.
You cannot diet the loose skin away Yve. Please, please take care. xx
ThinnerJemima
Here all the time.....
Really hope you find peace with yourself Yve, you really are a great lady.
My skin was purely cosmetic but I am ok at looking in the mirror since I've had it done.
Sending good vibes
My skin was purely cosmetic but I am ok at looking in the mirror since I've had it done.
Sending good vibes
femfrankie
Shrinking For Sophie
Arrrrrgghhhhh mums!!
They think they can say anything to you as they think we won't in some way be offended by it.. My mum is the same... Day before our cruise she came out with "I would be looking at getting those veins sorted pretty quick" thanks mum :sigh: I spent the rest of my holiday uber self conscious about them & doing my best to cover them up.
I truly feel your pain as I think most of us big losers here are in the same boat as regards the extra baggage that comes with such a massive loss ..but
Can I be honest with you and I'm ready for the flames here .... Yes you can get into the 8 outfit but does it really fit?? I can get 8's on but the saggy skin and flaws shine right through so I need the size above for it to look right and sometimes it just won't look right at all so is best avoided. As a rule I don't wear control wear as I find it uncomfy to be honest but there are times where there is just no way round it for an outfit to look right. Annoying as it is the saggy skin comes part and parcel of WLS and as much as I hate it if it means sacrificing the smaller sizes for my clothes just to look right then so be it. I would love to get my top half into 8's but it's not worth the damage to my self esteem as it's just to darned fragile. I just keep remindinding myself what would I rather have? my old well filled size 36 body or the saggy baggy size 10/12 I have now. No argument really.
You are one gorgeous lady hun that's acheived so much and mum needs to be proud of it too without the pointed remarks. Just like mine! (((((Hugs))))))
They think they can say anything to you as they think we won't in some way be offended by it.. My mum is the same... Day before our cruise she came out with "I would be looking at getting those veins sorted pretty quick" thanks mum :sigh: I spent the rest of my holiday uber self conscious about them & doing my best to cover them up.
I truly feel your pain as I think most of us big losers here are in the same boat as regards the extra baggage that comes with such a massive loss ..but
Can I be honest with you and I'm ready for the flames here .... Yes you can get into the 8 outfit but does it really fit?? I can get 8's on but the saggy skin and flaws shine right through so I need the size above for it to look right and sometimes it just won't look right at all so is best avoided. As a rule I don't wear control wear as I find it uncomfy to be honest but there are times where there is just no way round it for an outfit to look right. Annoying as it is the saggy skin comes part and parcel of WLS and as much as I hate it if it means sacrificing the smaller sizes for my clothes just to look right then so be it. I would love to get my top half into 8's but it's not worth the damage to my self esteem as it's just to darned fragile. I just keep remindinding myself what would I rather have? my old well filled size 36 body or the saggy baggy size 10/12 I have now. No argument really.
You are one gorgeous lady hun that's acheived so much and mum needs to be proud of it too without the pointed remarks. Just like mine! (((((Hugs))))))
femfrankie
Shrinking For Sophie
But what point were you trying to prove Yve... That you could get into it? If so be prepared for the not so good "oh good god" feeling and mums reaction to it as well. As Apositive says you can't wish the skin away it's there and we have to accept that to a certain degree and hope that one way or another we get plastics eventually and I can understand Ballys fears on that too. It may not all work out to the perfection we want either. I think my age probably has made me a bit more accepting of the skin issues that & the fact I have bought 3 kids into the world so I was never going to have the body of bo derek at the end of all this. ... It would have been nice though
