BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

[BandedHun]

Thanks girls and guys.

I had a break from coming in yesterday as such, didn't blog, didn't start getting to overwhelmed and just coped with getting my rest back on after gruelling night duty.

Weights still staying the sane but I'm not too stressed about it at the moment until my fill, the move etc is done I know I'm not as planned as I need to be with food etc. so it's my own fault. I know I need to eat sensibly once I'm moved. Ready meals are no good for me when previously my meals have always been fresh cooked meals.

Other than that, I've had my hair extensions out in again so that was a nice treat I feel ready to start training, only one week to go. So all fits in well with moving etc... I walked the dogs for an hour yesterday which was nice but couldn't get out today because the hair dresser was round all day. Back to work lates on Thursday and Friday ? my days off just disappear.... But they are days closer to the move and my long awaited fresh start. Scary going for a four bed detached to a two bed semi cottage but a welcomed move for me - defo! ? less cleaning !!!!

As for my band had my first bad experience, not chewing and too big equals/ ouch I feel that!!!! I needed to bring the food up , it was like my throat was pushing up and back down trying to force the food past the band but I just spat it out once the watery mouth was enough to bring it up... So any future banders... You will know when you have done wrong ... Because day to day food shouldn't hurt ... It doesn't. But I got complacent and lazy ... Then it hurt but I looked after myself after it and have eaten liquids today to rectify if it hurt my band at all .

So that's the update.

Thanks so much for your positive comments . I appreciate it - hopefully one day I'll be able to see what everyone sees xxx

 

[leedsburr]

Hey Hun, I know exactly what you mean about feeling inferior to siblings... I went through the same thing for many years... I came out to my parents and left home, my mum was so disappointed at first.. I partied, took drugs, and beat myself up over it... Looking back I didn't handle life well.

My brother then took over the family business and became the golden child.. It upset me for a while because I didn't feel like I had the chance to prove myself (mind you landscape gardening ain't my thing!) ... The thing I learnt out of it all was... The key thing is to be happy with yourself, and you are making the right decision with your op to change how you perceive yourself. Once you overcome that, you will be happier and this will enable you to realise that you are just as good if not better than your sister.

Sure we will do things in life that, looking back, we may have done different if we had the chance, but I don't look at those things as bad... I look at those as foundations to build on, make us stronger...

Hope your ok and sorry I ain't been on much x J

 

[BandedHun]

Thanks Leeds. Appreciate your sharing experience and past. I know it's hard and sometimes until we open up we never let go. I'm learning everyday now not to try and live by the past and look to my furure.

So DAY 19 post op ( pay day too) whooo!
The last three days since finishing nights I've been taking the digs out on this beautiful walk near our house - a long river walk with some steep 1 mile incline and decline in it too. Just trying to adjust my body slowly to getting active again. All my previous weight loss journeys all started with taking the dogs out for walks then building up slowly to running again after managing 4 weeks of fitting that into my life. I must say it has helped massively . I feel more alive ( still recovering from nights) but I feel more energetic. I don't want to sit for long periods. I've also looked at all my old ED folder I made and it's so sad the things I used to write and say about myself and things I got of the Internet. Think when I move the folder will be burned. I do feel like a new lease of life.

I've planed and brought my food ( disappointed it's a ready meal but seeing as I'm moving bases temporary until some urgent repairs are done at my building in vauxhall- I'm in charing cross... Full of take outa and restaurants ) so ready mean it is.,,

Today's food is /was

B - 2 egg white omelette -140k
2 slices of chicken chopped tiny 40k
Fixed onion finely chopped 17k

L- water melon freshly chopped in small chunks 90k
Pineapple small hunks freshly cut - 40k

D - waitrose light mushroom risotto - 363k


Drinks - water 2lt and a glass of NAS - 9k

Total roughly 800kcal

Plus my hour long march walk - 342kcaks burned!

Trying to really cut the carbs down but have only one meal with then... I know lots of you stay clear of fruit but these watery fruits really do steer me clear of sweets and chocolate that I so desperately crave.

On a crappy note- the house has been put back to the 25th April... Which is rubbish as now I've got a full week of nights to complete before moving .... So getting in on the Friday morning to get the keys that day etc.... Can't get the Thursday off either... But I will have a week off after . Thank god.
I've got my hair extensions back in and they feel lovely and fresh ( my hair dressers great. They look so natural )

That's about all for me. On a 12 hour late for the next two days then weekend off but at least I've got both bank holidays ... Need the cash for the house! So great timing' ?

Hope everyone's good, I'll hopefully have done sort of weight loss this week even if it's a lb I'll be pleased because until today I've been naughty... But for some reason I really wanna get my teeth into working the band... Think it's the idea of moving, my hair being done etc....

Anyway, I'll keep you all updated. Hope your all ok

Big hunniepuss hugs ? xxx

 

[sparklysue]

Hi BandedHun
I've been reading your diary for the past few nights and just wanted you to know how I love how honest and open you are on here. You say things that I can completely relate to.
I would think nothing to coming in from work and stuffing my face so full that I could barely manage my tea, but somehow I always did. I would then carry on snacking til bedtime. Laid in bed I would feel sick and could hear my heart beating in my ears, probably from the sugar overdose. Food controlled me and has done all my life. Up and down with my weight for years. I would join slimming clubs when I was younger and could get my weight down, only for it to then creep on again.
These last 6 years tho have been the worse and I'd more or less given up. My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers then cancer and died 2 years ago. My mum was my best friend and I told her everything so struggled to accept she wasn't going to be around.
Despite having my own family, when she died, I felt completely alone and still do to a degree. I turned to food even more as a comfort then. Then I decided I needed to get out of this rutt and drastic measures were needed.
Had my band fitted just over 2 months ago and my weight loss is quite slow. Lost 20 lbs so far and like you, have good and bad days. A few weeks ago, I was eating chocolate and crap and felt I was to be the one who failed with a band. Things have been easier since I had my last fill 2 weeks ago. It just seems that all of a sudden I've stopped hunting for food in between my meals. Most of my hunger is in my head so to have that desire removed is wonderful.
Only very few people know that I have had a band, my hubby, 2 kids and 5 friends. No family know at all and I'm not sure I will tell them either. Just can't be doing with negative comments from people who don't even know the correct facts but think they do.
You are absolutely stunning in your pic and I would love to look anywhere near as good as you do. I'm 48 and had got very frumpy since putting on weight. The one thing I am looking forward to is buying some clothes I will look decent in and for someone to say 'you look nice' rather than don't you look well!!!!!!!
I think you did the surgery at a good age. I left it till now as I kept thinking I would be able to lose weight and instead the scales kept going up and up. I'm 5 foot 2 and weighed 13 stone 4 at my biggest. I hope to lose about 4 stone. Hopefully I will achieve it this year. I do wish I'd done it sooner rather than kid myself on all those years.

Love reading your posts so please don't stop. There really are some lovely people on here and the support is fantastic.
Sue xxx

 

[BandedHun]

Ahhhh sparkly sue that's lovely that you read my diary, I try to be as honey and open about my past as I feel so alone sometimes in my head.

I'm working at the moment so I'll reply properly on the train going home ... Big hugs and chat anytime ... Sounds like u know exactly what I'm going to say coz your experiencing the same
?

Big hugs xxx

 

[BandedHun]

So I'm on my way home early as I'm exhausted and back in lates tomorrow too. Today has so far been successful for me. Successful in the fact that... I'm walking another 2 miles home once I get off the train. I've only eaten what I brought into work and eggs at home. I was able to walk thru Liverpool at station without grabbing something to snack on on the train ..., usually crap of some sort .... So it's been a success... ( if I can manage to NOT put something in my mouth when I get home ) ... Oooeeeer mrs! That sounds wrong! Lol

Today's calories on MFP are a grand total 833kcals.

I am feeling hungry but I need to overcome that in order to start the weight loss off ..., stalling doesn't feel good, ESP when I'm
Still not eating nearly half what I used to eat ....

 

[Crystalrainbow]

oooooooooooh er mrs indeed lol sounds like your doing fantastic hunni lots of positives to be proud about wd u You are doing so well am completely proud of you, just remember back to being pre op and now look at yourself, you sound so much more positive too its amazing how this journey can completely change the mind set. Its almost like self counseling...... maybe time for a new folder full of positives to help you move on to that brighter shinier new life ahead it all fits in nicely with the house move to !!! get home hunni and get some rest ...... your intake is looking good...... don't beat yourself up for being 'naughty' i don't believe in denying myself anything in moderation and sometimes the ready meals have their place too !! gl on a nice loss sweetheart x x x x catch up soon x x

 

[Babynurse]

My daughter is in Bradford so I'm always back and forth. Maybe when the surgery is over and we are feeling better we should organise a get-together. It would be good to have friends that understand xx

I also live in Lancashire & not far from the West Yorkshire border. I had my op 3 days ago at THG Dolan Park and having my follow up in Manchester.

 

[BandedHun]

Guys I'm up and down like a bloody Yoyo. Feel like I've wasted so much time, I should be on great weight loss now but I'm stuck at this weight at the mo. I know the fills going to help abit but my head just rules so much of my blinking food intake it's crazy!

I sat at desk at work yesterday ( it was very busy mind ) but you'd think it would distract me from food but Nope not Hunnie! The food was on my mind all day, what time can I have my ready meal... My fruit ... Blah blah blah ... I bore myself sometimes with it! I feel like a real bloater at the moment.

On the train still that running on a go slow for my bank holiday late shift! I just hope the whole of London behaves today and it will be a good day ... If they don't then . Darn! It's going to be a busy day- bank holidays are so unpredictable.

I didn't mange to get the digs out this morning as I didn't get into bed until 1230 asleep by 1ish and up by 8 this morning for Worky poo and my lovely river walk takes an hour - burns roughly 342kcal for the walk....

I'm wondering weather to start wearing my weight watchers pedometer? Or if there are any apps that monitor your walking ??? Any ideas my beauty's??? .....

On a brighter note. A week today until the house move ... Gutted it should have been Tuesday but... Pleased it's after nights ... Save the annual leave and earn the money .., whooo!

I've been reading everyone's diarys, dreamer, crystal, Adrienne, and everyone is doing so well.. But I feel like I'm still at the learning to stop eating / harming phase! ... I wonder if I told more people I'd feel like I had to make better choices. However those losses guys and girls on your diaries are phenomenal... All credit where credit is due... You all deserve it.... xxx golf clap xxx

Below is a photo of beautiful doggies on our walk before work yesterday

 

[Crystalrainbow]

ohh firstly Mrs your doing bloody fantastic yourself..............don't ever doubt your achievements !!! Just remember some of us (ME) had an awful lot more weight to shift than you hunni i was 20.5 when i started my pre op diet........... over 10 stone to loose, its bound to come off quicker to start with..........but trust me its still a darn difficult. Last week i didn't loose a bean the week before only -1 is just trying to learn how to work your body for the best possible results lol but i figure if you can get your head in right place the battle is won
Your river side walk sound amazing and the doggys yes get the pedometer out and get logging your steps on the 'a step in the right direction' thread come join us nutters lol walking is soooo good for the soul..... and takes the mind of food grrrrr some of the girls on the thread have got apps....speak to them they will know whats best

Your still a baby bander hunni it takes time to learn, its not an easy journey..... for me with an empty band 9 weeks post op its down to ME (the band has never stopped me at all) i eat from a small plate, eat to the 20 20 20 rule 3 healthy meals a day + a few snacks ie laughing cow lights, meringue nests or crispbakes even icepops lol just something to stop the mind feeling hungry (as im sure its not my tum lol) distractions like walking and being here all work nicely too............

Now im off for shower lol get dressed and out for a nice long walk, cheer myself up

Huge hugs hunni x x x keep that chin high your doing amazingly, and don't let that gremlin in your head tell you otherwise x x x x

Love n hugs ............ hmmmm am wondering about your job, intriguing !!!!

 

[clare-revised]

Hey Hunnie...
We never ever stop learning about ourselves....I'm 44 this year & it's still awesome that I can surprise myself

BIG PS - I've got a Bordeaux

 

[BandedHun]

Ohhh I love my DDB's... They are 6 and 7 this year and I know they will break my heart at some point but I love every second of them ... And the slobber.

Just been for a break walking round the strand for some excercise. It's lovely day. Interesting sights around here but was lovely getting out.

200kcals burned up and yes your all so right, I need to learn everyday. I just need to atop with the self saboteur in me. I deserve to be thin again but only if I can make a best friend out of my band ..... Rather than an enemy !!! :-( xxx

Signing off now to get back to work ... Baby bander over and out .... Xxx

 

[adrienne]

Hunnie

Your doing great babe!!! And don't you forget it!
Don't forget your surgery involves a lot of self control of which I have none!!!! My op means that I rarely feel hunger and when I do I can only eat a tiny amount if slop and then I either feel sick or full!
Plus most of the time I'm too tired to bother with food hun? you've got the hardest job fighting the hunger and the brain hunger
Give yourself a break !!! I insist! You are doing a really good job, I've done no exercise other than walking Arnold.
Xx

 

[Crystalrainbow]

Hunnie

Your doing great babe!!! And don't you forget it!
Don't forget your surgery involves a lot of self control of which I have none!!!! My op means that I rarely feel hunger and when I do I can only eat a tiny amount if slop and then I either feel sick or full!
Plus most of the time I'm too tired to bother with food hun? you've got the hardest job fighting the hunger and the brain hunger
Give yourself a break !!! I insist! You are doing a really good job, I've done no exercise other than walking Arnold.
Xx

Hear hear agreed....... having the band is not an easy option..... my friend had the bypass and she struggles to even want food!! ugh unfortunately until the bands working correctly its very much mind over matter. I go once a month and sit amongst fellow banders some babys like me and some 6 months in...... they are all itching to get their next fills to help with the feelings of hunger.......... so hang in there 1 day at a time hunni take everyday as it comes and cross the hurdles as they come too slow and steady wins the race x x x x x

 

[BandedHun]

Think I experienced PB-ing today .... :-(

Waited till 8 to eat my sloppy ready meal and managed to finish the whole ready meal in 20 minutes ( it was a roasted veg lasanage very soft and sloggy) and there was one piece towards the end I just thought it went in too quickly and too big a bite.

So anyway, boss said go home ... So I've had to rush across town in 30 minutes to catch my one an hour village train. Well... Whilst waiting on the tube station this acidy burp thingy comes up into my mouth and back down .... Hummmm... Tasted like lasange-acid -water.... Not nice. All journey I've had this caught sensation ( like a dullish ache under my rib cage ( where the tummy I now know is situated) it feels dreadfully uncomfortable ...

So then my train pulled into Liverpool st at 9 and had 2 minutes to get from the under ground across the huge busy platform to the other end before my train left ... My legs were burning!!! Big time! And my throat ... Dry as F**k ... Urgh...

Beep beep doors closing ( with more acidy ouchy feeling in my tummy and throat ) Iade it on to the train ( where I'm typing my return) ...

I genuinely feel like something is stuck, causing a massive discomfort in my throat pipe .... Not nice at all and serves me right! Piggy!!

I've felt bloated and had no hunger all day but had two meals


Omelette - 190 kcal

And the ready meal today waitrose roster veg low fat lasagne - 313 kcal

McDonald's latte- 140kcal

640kcals ish . Walked all break time around the street. ( like a hobo) and now got to walk the long journey home. Still with my yoghurt and fruit in my bag which I've calories up on my fitness pal already....

So all in all I'm shattered. Looking forward to two days off before nights week - again! And the moving home!! Whoooooo....

 

[Crystalrainbow]

awww hunni that dont sound too pleasant hope your home soon 'there's no place like home' feet up and rest..... i have no words of wisdom here, because its not happened to me but hope it passes soon rest your tum just fluids would help i guess x x x x huge hugs x x x mawhhhhh

 

[BandedHun]

Thankfully it's completely gone now I'm home and in bed after my 200kcal march home down the dark country lanes .....

Just short of 500kcals burned today and that's without a dog walk ... Which will take place tomorrow in beautiful Dublin Pinacle horse riding all weather boots ..,, comfy as hell ....

Thanks crystal you little super star xxx

 

[Crystalrainbow]

night hun sleep well x x x

 

[MrsDuck]

Just thought I'd pop by and say hello, I've been camping this weekend, but thought about you all, wondering how you were all getting on.

Keep going Hun - one day at a time xx

 

[BandedHun]

Hi guys and girls,

Haven't been on for a few days as sometimes I just don't want to be absorbed in the numbers and diet thing. Partly because I find it difficult when I'm stuck and everyone around me is loosing makes me feel like I'm a failure , inadequate and incapable. Plus I like to be honest about that fact. My foods were great during working lates but Easter weekend threw me. Takeaways were slogged about and obvs Easter eggs and this is not why I signed up to have the band at all. It's such a difficult time as well as being limited to the types of food and I minimal exercise then add a bit of going back to work full time shifts after two operations and 12 weeks off with a moving house up coming the very last thing in my mind is my self and looking after myself... This needs to change. This is why I had it done.

So I'm back on the train for a week for nights and they kill me. I eat when I'm tried . Bored, exhausted. Food food food is on my mind. But I'm going to try my hardest not to eat to night, and eat when I wake up tomorrow and have tea tomorrow night, I need a light day after a heavy weekend.

Oh btw my bands Definately there. I took a spoonful too much too quickly ( as complacency creeps in) and wham! Nope this bite was not going thru the band...

The saliva starts.

Then more.

Then heart burning feeling.

Then right I need to bring this up....

Yup! And up it comes.,,, tiny amount of dinner that's just not playing ball because greedy guts didn't leave it long enough.

I have an action plan for this week in order to loose weight too.

Involves walking home from work in the mornings, drinking litres of water and just sticking with the rules 100% ....

I'm ashamed with my self so much, I have this amazing opportunity I'm just not seizing and it guys me like a fish when I see others really doing well, I should have flipped my head over by now ... But I can't take away the fact I dislike myself so much.

I honestly thought WLS could cure it ... It doesn't come near, it is all will power.

You could cheat any of the surgery id you were stupid enough and blame the tool. Fact is a milkshakes go down great! I'd never bloody eat them before! Just coz it's easy ... Certainly isn't right.

So the rules it is for me... 100%!!

No more time wasting xxxx