emmahc1975
Active Member
You. & your daughter look adorable together. Hope she had a good birthday & hope u had a good day too.
-
Hi, If you cannot get into the site, be sure to Contact Us. Please be advised that the app is no longer in use!
BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary
- Thread starter BandedHun
- Start date
clare-revised
Eyes on the prize
Wowzerrrs....you're goin thru the mill Hun...seriously!
Hugs n pic is fab, you look gawgus xx
Hugs n pic is fab, you look gawgus xx
WeightlossDreamer
Well-Known Member
Well done Hun it's always difficult to see the positives at such hard times but your doin great fab pic! X x
BandedHun
New Member
Urgh! Y is life so testing. I need to get this down because I'm not sure I'm being selfish, irrational emotional so 2nd opinions mean a lot.
I've blown my top tonight what started calmly escalated in to a blazing row. The OH Sunday night booked to go to Cyprus ( this morning) he asked if it was ok and I just said go what u want. Thing is Teds and Lola's ashes are ready this week. It's two weeks today since it all happened and Sunday is my 31st birthday. Both my OH and my daughter are now not with me. I feel like **** anyway. Nights are killing me. I'm just not sleeping. I feel constant stressed. Unable to eat. Not concentrating at work. I'm really having a hard time with it all .
I didn't think after the last 2-3 weeks with the move, the dog the pigs his daughter my daughters and soon to be mine birthday he'd have the heart to up and leave me at this time... But he has .
Thing is I work full time. Pay all the bills. I'm left with the new sofa bill and huge vet bill and he's spent what little cash he has on not helping me, but going to Cyprus. No card. No present left for my birthday .... Nothing. He said he will do it when he's back..... Don't bother! He can't give me what I want. And being in Cyprus with his chav drunken family doesn't make me feel much better. I feel worthless in fact.
All he throws into face is the band the fact I didn't all that money I earnt on the band.. Baring in mind I've paid for pretty much our whole lives since getting together. He still can't get full time hours. Despite passing s his rail exams.
I'm fuming. I'm hurting and I'm so lovely inside and trying to explain that to him and him understand is such a waste of my breath.
I'm never going to forgive him for leaving me to deal with everything at such a delicate time.
Am I being selfish?
I'm so scared of panic attacks . The stress. The loneliness in the new house having only jus moved in . I'm sick of it .
He has the audacity to say to me he gates his life! Jesus is love to have all my bills paid a smart little house and work 22 hours maximum a week! I'm so bitter inside.
I'd die for a break and run from it all right now ... No such luck ... A huge vet bill a brand new sofa and bills to pay mean I can't.
I hate him right now. I just want to crumble up inside ... Y do I put up with all this ?.
I've blown my top tonight what started calmly escalated in to a blazing row. The OH Sunday night booked to go to Cyprus ( this morning) he asked if it was ok and I just said go what u want. Thing is Teds and Lola's ashes are ready this week. It's two weeks today since it all happened and Sunday is my 31st birthday. Both my OH and my daughter are now not with me. I feel like **** anyway. Nights are killing me. I'm just not sleeping. I feel constant stressed. Unable to eat. Not concentrating at work. I'm really having a hard time with it all .
I didn't think after the last 2-3 weeks with the move, the dog the pigs his daughter my daughters and soon to be mine birthday he'd have the heart to up and leave me at this time... But he has .
Thing is I work full time. Pay all the bills. I'm left with the new sofa bill and huge vet bill and he's spent what little cash he has on not helping me, but going to Cyprus. No card. No present left for my birthday .... Nothing. He said he will do it when he's back..... Don't bother! He can't give me what I want. And being in Cyprus with his chav drunken family doesn't make me feel much better. I feel worthless in fact.
All he throws into face is the band the fact I didn't all that money I earnt on the band.. Baring in mind I've paid for pretty much our whole lives since getting together. He still can't get full time hours. Despite passing s his rail exams.
I'm fuming. I'm hurting and I'm so lovely inside and trying to explain that to him and him understand is such a waste of my breath.
I'm never going to forgive him for leaving me to deal with everything at such a delicate time.
Am I being selfish?
I'm so scared of panic attacks . The stress. The loneliness in the new house having only jus moved in . I'm sick of it .
He has the audacity to say to me he gates his life! Jesus is love to have all my bills paid a smart little house and work 22 hours maximum a week! I'm so bitter inside.
I'd die for a break and run from it all right now ... No such luck ... A huge vet bill a brand new sofa and bills to pay mean I can't.
I hate him right now. I just want to crumble up inside ... Y do I put up with all this ?.
flutterby1966
Well-Known Member
Hopefully you are now asleep bh. Lack of sleep can heighten all these emotions and make things seem worse than they are and far less easy to cope with. Sometimes good just to be able to vent off. He's probably oblivious to the majority of what you are feeling. No answers, just big virtual hug xxx
flutterby1966
Well-Known Member
Can he not get himself to the airport so you can sleep?
BandedHun
New Member
Ok. I need to get out if work as it's doing my head in and it's crazy busy.
The last 72hours I just continually keep crying. Trying to come to terms with every thug is really hard and being alone is so much harder. I feel like a mixture if home sickness, lonliness, grief and just complete depression. It's awful. Im scared of eating and always feel like ill black out and any moment and im pale and very exhausted.
But life goes on, I feel I need to get a grip and sort myself out, it's ok to hurt. It's the first time I'm having to take on everything and be alone in doing it and 72 hours on and lots of tears I'm still alive still getting into work and back and still trying .... I can be proud for that I guess.
Nights doesn't help either as it completely drains and drags the week out. And I HATE Thursday - into Friday as it's nearly time for 5 days off and it blinking drags!!!!
Anyway, I'll update you all how I'm doing and my plans for my 31st birthday.... Alone. Lol ... Such a loser I am xx
Hope your all great xxx
The last 72hours I just continually keep crying. Trying to come to terms with every thug is really hard and being alone is so much harder. I feel like a mixture if home sickness, lonliness, grief and just complete depression. It's awful. Im scared of eating and always feel like ill black out and any moment and im pale and very exhausted.
But life goes on, I feel I need to get a grip and sort myself out, it's ok to hurt. It's the first time I'm having to take on everything and be alone in doing it and 72 hours on and lots of tears I'm still alive still getting into work and back and still trying .... I can be proud for that I guess.
Nights doesn't help either as it completely drains and drags the week out. And I HATE Thursday - into Friday as it's nearly time for 5 days off and it blinking drags!!!!
Anyway, I'll update you all how I'm doing and my plans for my 31st birthday.... Alone. Lol ... Such a loser I am xx
Hope your all great xxx
Hey chick fab weight loss but crap way to get it :-(
Why don't you get yourself a spa day booked for your birthday - go for a bit of pampering and do whatever you want xx
Bloody men - but leaving you to look after yourself may backfire as I'm sure you're less stressed without him.
Look after number 1 - I learned that the hard way after years having my ex skid a every weekend only to leave me for a much older woman when they were grown up.
Grrrrr xxx
Why don't you get yourself a spa day booked for your birthday - go for a bit of pampering and do whatever you want xx
Bloody men - but leaving you to look after yourself may backfire as I'm sure you're less stressed without him.
Look after number 1 - I learned that the hard way after years having my ex skid a every weekend only to leave me for a much older woman when they were grown up.
Grrrrr xxx
Crystalrainbow
Well-Known Member
Hmmm men armholes* i love the spell checker 
sometimes i think we're better off without em !!
Anyways Hunni hope your doing ok sweets sorry not been a round (been pretty crappy myself too) just sending a huge hug x x x x mawh stay strong sweetheart Nikola's right look after no1 bugger the rest x x x x x
sometimes i think we're better off without em !!Anyways Hunni hope your doing ok sweets sorry not been a round (been pretty crappy myself too) just sending a huge hug x x x x mawh stay strong sweetheart Nikola's right look after no1 bugger the rest x x x x x
BandedHun
New Member
Hi guys sorry I've not been myself recently. What with moving the dog step and daugther law battles my OH going away at the time of my daugthers and my birthday has all left for one very stressed out sad hunnie ? ... However. After 7 days of complete I can't eat anything I then went and had my fill number 2 .... I'd lost 11lbs since the last fill which was great but I told them I was extreme stressed out the last 7 days... Still am struggling a bit of I'm honest, so anyway, I don't feel smaller infact I feel pretty grosse most of the time.
Haven't done my measurements as I seem to have lost my paper with it all written on during the move, bit gutted really. I have the photos but I'm not quite ready to do before and after a as I'm no where near where I want to be.... I'd love this band to get me to 11st again and stay there but I'm not working it how I should.
So this 2nd fill has really made a difference, I can't stomach much. The Dietican said out no more than 1.5ml in taking it to 5.5ml in a 10ml band - now baring in mind I struggled with the 4ml in my band with some foods, I thought it was a lot, so they put 1.5ml in my band then I tried drinking and it just stayed in my throat... So I ended up having 0.5ml taken out... God my stomach was sore. I could drink water with the 1ml only in... So went home.
Last couple of days I'm hoping it will settle down but I can't eat much, nothing in the morning, in the evening I can suck crisps ... I even tried ice cream this evening ... Nope. And the bloody noises my band makes ... Sounds like someone's drowning in my throat... I'm going to give it till weds and if it's still not going to get loosened up I'll go back and have the fill taken out and stay at 4ml for a bit,,. I'm also concerned about the stress having an impact on the band tightness as I'm aware it really does ....
So that's my update. In the 13s now but for me it's still far too much ....... Xxx
Haven't done my measurements as I seem to have lost my paper with it all written on during the move, bit gutted really. I have the photos but I'm not quite ready to do before and after a as I'm no where near where I want to be.... I'd love this band to get me to 11st again and stay there but I'm not working it how I should.
So this 2nd fill has really made a difference, I can't stomach much. The Dietican said out no more than 1.5ml in taking it to 5.5ml in a 10ml band - now baring in mind I struggled with the 4ml in my band with some foods, I thought it was a lot, so they put 1.5ml in my band then I tried drinking and it just stayed in my throat... So I ended up having 0.5ml taken out... God my stomach was sore. I could drink water with the 1ml only in... So went home.
Last couple of days I'm hoping it will settle down but I can't eat much, nothing in the morning, in the evening I can suck crisps ... I even tried ice cream this evening ... Nope. And the bloody noises my band makes ... Sounds like someone's drowning in my throat... I'm going to give it till weds and if it's still not going to get loosened up I'll go back and have the fill taken out and stay at 4ml for a bit,,. I'm also concerned about the stress having an impact on the band tightness as I'm aware it really does ....
So that's my update. In the 13s now but for me it's still far too much ....... Xxx
BandedHun
New Member
Thanks Nik...
I literally can't stomach anything .... Just tried yoghurt ... Straight up . In agony.
Going to leave it till weds if it's no good I'm going to get a defill... I've going to try and have milkshakes and protein shakes as I'm so empty and light headed so I know I need to do something . Oh well let the stress commence
Hope your all well xxx
I literally can't stomach anything .... Just tried yoghurt ... Straight up . In agony.
Going to leave it till weds if it's no good I'm going to get a defill... I've going to try and have milkshakes and protein shakes as I'm so empty and light headed so I know I need to do something . Oh well let the stress commence
Hope your all well xxx
WeightlossDreamer
Well-Known Member
Hits Hun sorry to hear you've been struggling and stressed. Try to focus on you. You may find you need a defill to have a fill when your so stressed might not have been a good idea as bands naturally get tighter when were stressed anyway x x x
BandedHun
New Member
Hi guys and dolls sorry not been on, god 7 days of not stomaching much at all was awful. I was just desperate to stomach something, but literally on the 8th day it's settled nicely.
I've learnt a few things..... Bread? Nope do not eat anymore, rice? Nope! Do not touch. Tomatoes? Be careful they like to come back up at a later date.
I'm going to say to you all I'm no angel at all when it comes to this weight loss surgery, I pretty much am eating what I want but the portions are 1/5th the size I would off eaten. I'm not having weight I'm not loosing loads either. I had a very interesting conversation with the dietician at my last fill and the full nurse repeated the same. They both said DO NOT go on a strict diet with this, the idea is you eat normally, no drastic low fats, no not having a ice cream on a day out etc .... Be sensible but never deprive yourself, the aim is not to loose a shocking amount if weight quickly only to put it all on again, the aim is to slowly adjust your life.... Every month I feel I'm achieving that. Through all the stress and little binges I have I'm slowly letting my head catch up with the band, I don't need that portion of food anymore. Ones enough, and slowly but surely the weight is coming down with it.
If I want to loose slot more I could, but I just don't want to feel like a slave to food and calories and excercise etc, obvs I'm going to get back into my distance running eventually, but at the mo I just want to focus on learning my bands capabilities... After all I'm a baby bander, I defo feel for me it's the right choice. Getting into the fills and how they work etc is great. Learning how to cope with the fills well .... That's a challenge in it's self.
Overall my life feels simpler. After teds shocking passing I'm trying to look at life in a much more simplistic way. Rather than making everything a rush and drama coz it's not happening now,. Can I honestly hand on my heart say I deserve a 2st 4lb weight loss so far .... Hummmm not really. If I want more I will have to make better choices. For me there's no point moaning about it. I'm not putting on weight which is what of normally go if I loved off of 6 days take outs or restaurant eating on a row....
So anyway, all is good in the hood and I hope you all are doing fab too xxx
I've learnt a few things..... Bread? Nope do not eat anymore, rice? Nope! Do not touch. Tomatoes? Be careful they like to come back up at a later date.
I'm going to say to you all I'm no angel at all when it comes to this weight loss surgery, I pretty much am eating what I want but the portions are 1/5th the size I would off eaten. I'm not having weight I'm not loosing loads either. I had a very interesting conversation with the dietician at my last fill and the full nurse repeated the same. They both said DO NOT go on a strict diet with this, the idea is you eat normally, no drastic low fats, no not having a ice cream on a day out etc .... Be sensible but never deprive yourself, the aim is not to loose a shocking amount if weight quickly only to put it all on again, the aim is to slowly adjust your life.... Every month I feel I'm achieving that. Through all the stress and little binges I have I'm slowly letting my head catch up with the band, I don't need that portion of food anymore. Ones enough, and slowly but surely the weight is coming down with it.
If I want to loose slot more I could, but I just don't want to feel like a slave to food and calories and excercise etc, obvs I'm going to get back into my distance running eventually, but at the mo I just want to focus on learning my bands capabilities... After all I'm a baby bander, I defo feel for me it's the right choice. Getting into the fills and how they work etc is great. Learning how to cope with the fills well .... That's a challenge in it's self.
Overall my life feels simpler. After teds shocking passing I'm trying to look at life in a much more simplistic way. Rather than making everything a rush and drama coz it's not happening now,. Can I honestly hand on my heart say I deserve a 2st 4lb weight loss so far .... Hummmm not really. If I want more I will have to make better choices. For me there's no point moaning about it. I'm not putting on weight which is what of normally go if I loved off of 6 days take outs or restaurant eating on a row....
So anyway, all is good in the hood and I hope you all are doing fab too xxx
emmahc1975
Active Member
Its good to see you are getting on well & nice to read a post from a happier Hun
