BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

[kurstywursty]

Banded. I was very secretive about my band until recently. Now I find myself just blurting it out. I no longer feel ashamed that I couldn't do it without the band. I want to rush up to every fat person I see on the street and tell them to do this wonderful thing lol. What a pain in the ass eh?

Funnily enough I have not told my closest living relative my brother. I wanted to surprise him in March when I get off the plane in Phoenix. But my sister in law has just sent me a txt to say she is coming home in January for a week. I am now wondering what to tell her and have been fretting over it. I told Lindsay that I will tell her I got fed up feeling like a failure every day of my life

Funny enough I brought up good today for the first time. I ordered a bowl of soup and it came with crusty bread bi took two mouthfuls of the bread and felt it coming back up. Luckily the friends I was with know about my band and one of them has also had the band. I had to dash to the loo. What a weird awful experience It was like bringing up
Slime yuk

It's up to you. But it may be less stressful to tell your family and just sit back and enjoy Xmas. You never know they may surprise you

 

[Xenia67]

Banded, I was in the police for 15 years and left after a very stressful time, the whole reason as to why I am so over weight. It is a huge decision to make to leave. I have good days and bad days about having left, but deep down and for my sanity I'm glad I did. I have told nearly everyone that I'm am having the band, only two negative comments so far. Luckily my family have been understanding, which did surprise me I thought my mum in particular would be negative but she has been supportive. You know them best, but it may surprise you, your mum might be relieved to know you are not making yourself sick. Whatever you decide, this forum will still be here to support you. Go steady and be kind to you x

 

[flutterby1966]

Everyone and anyone knows about my band and I haven't had a single negative comment (to my face) and I don't care about anyone who doesn't have the guts to be up front and honest with me. everyone is entitled to their own views. Some are vocal because they care/worry and others just because they focus on the negatives rather than the positives. Its nobodies business but your own, BH, do what makes you happy! Too much time/energy can be wasted on worrying about what others think. If you don't tell them ... Eat more slider food over Xmas to minimise the risk of having to pop away from the dinner table? xxx

 

[SingerMo]

I've only told my family and best friend so far. I think I will wait until I have lost the weight to tell anyone else.

What is it you're afraid of? Rejection, judgement, disappointment? If the worst case scenario were to come true, what then?

My best friend is always saying how brave I am. I don't agree but I do think we can handle so much more than we think and often it is fear that holds us back.

You have done so well on your own and if your mum thinks you're bulimic, she might be relieved by the truth.

I hope IF you do tell them they surprise you with love and acceptance. Sadly this is not a perfect world.

You will always be loved and accepted here.

 

[Nikola]

5 people know about mine - my mum and dad, other half, daughter and one work mate. I told my workmate in case anything happened to me in work post op lol !

My main reason for holding back is that I have a health and fitness related job and worry if anyone found out it could impact my career hence no photos on here !

As oopsydaisy says it's nobody's business but yours.

Love the new clothes btw xxx

 

[BandedHun]

Thanks everyone.

I've had a hectic two days with solicitors yesterday and my nephews 1st birthday Sunday. Ate lots of picky bits. Birthday cake, mini wraps, Pringles, quiche... When I weighed myself... No change, today? No change. Still 10:7 can't grumble but my bands tight. Think with the stress of yesterday it's just needs time to de stress.

I'll do a proper update later but just wanted to say sorry been super busy and I'll be back.

I do log all my food on MFP when I'm eating rubbish too and have noticed that I'm rarely touching 1600 kcal's on bad days so maybe that's why I'm not gaining weigh ( most is maybe 1/2 a pound - seems in volume - so needing the toilet etc) but then it goes back to 10:7.

Got some tiny super skinny 10 new look jeans. Oh my god when I saw them I thought no way am I getting in them... I did! Crazy. So I've got three pairs now. Super skinnys in 10 and normal skinnys in an 8. I can't grumble with that.


Right I'm off to take daughter out for day and then a night alone tonight. Whoooooo!

 

[BandedHun]

Oh and I've while heartedly decided I'm NOT telling my family. They saw how stressed I was yesterday and my mum knows I'm not bulimic now. She just feels im stressed with work and that's the weight loss and " dieting" I've been doing

Thanks for all your advice everyone! ;-)

 

[sharon2014]

Hey love, been a busy week for me as well, that's good about no gains!!! Although want a loss it will when ur body catches up hopefully!!

Maybe at another time u will tell ur family, but it's your business and no one else xxx

Keep up the amazing work love xx

 

[kurstywursty]

Love the new photo Banded xx

 

[BandedHun]

Thanks everyone.

I'm having a **** time with food this week. Really am struggling to eat right, got a hankering sweet tooth and I just can't focus. I tried cooking all day today. Made a lovely roasted butternut squash soup ... And a free chicken and tarragon and mushroom casserole with creamy Mexican potatoes... Was lush but I let myself binge! What a twat I am.... Chocolate and biscuits! And I look pregnant! I've got a round pot belly and it's awful! I can't do my size 8s up!!! :-( I don't wanna get big but I'm scared I'm on a bad path for xmas! Nooooooo.... I must I must I must sort my binges out, ( micro binges) I need to tell myself would a size 8 person eat this .... NO they bloody wouldn't!!!

Get a grip Bandedhun'

 

[sparklysue]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Today was a one off, just try to get focussed again tomorrow. I know all too well when your head is in the wrong place though.
I know you will get back on track as you did it before and will do it again. Good luck xxx

 

[BandedHun]

Thanks.
I'm being pushed for a decision by Saturday with work and it's causing me untold grief and beating myself up mentality... I'm short with everyone and im struggling to get a grip on my emotions... Still even this small food is my comfort and punishment. It's crazy my bands allowing it today and last night! Grrrr! So annoyed with myself!!!! I wanted to push to 1st dec and start off new year fresh start but walking away before is just not feasible.... :-(

Oh gosh I'm in such a pickle and it's effecting my mental strength :-(

Thanks sue xxxx

 

[kurstywursty]

Banded...you are so strong and determined. You said to me last week that we can't change the habits of a lifetime and a history of food addiction overnight....or words to that effect...so take your own advice babe....of course you will turn to your old friend in dire times....but as you say a micro binge!!!!

Decide tomorrow to be on track....cut out the carbs, they only induce the cravings...you can do it, and be back in those size 8 jeans by the weekend

I beat myself up badly when I loss control, which I still do...but the beauty of our band is that it limits the damage physically...but our poor fooked up heads still suffer big time

I have been really fearful that I am at the limit of my weight loss, that it am going to fail....but.....a couple of good food days under. My belt has me. Feeling invincible again. Come on, get invincible

 

[sharon2014]

Banded I feel for you love, I hope things start to move forward on the work front....your mental wellbeing is important and sometimes a fresh start with no plan is the best but only you can decide whats good for you.

Please dont beat yourself up about what you ate, its understandable and you can bounce back from it, I agree with Kirsty cut out the carbs as it does limit cravings!! I had started introducing them back as per my dietician and i stalled, so got rid of them again, not hungry and got a loss this week!

Remember what ever your decision on the career front, you have the love and support of your family and everyone here!! xx

 

[SingerMo]

Thanks everyone.

I'm having a **** time with food this week. Really am struggling to eat right, got a hankering sweet tooth and I just can't focus. I tried cooking all day today. Made a lovely roasted butternut squash soup ... And a free chicken and tarragon and mushroom casserole with creamy Mexican potatoes... Was lush but I let myself binge! What a twat I am.... Chocolate and biscuits! And I look pregnant! I've got a round pot belly and it's awful! I can't do my size 8s up!!! :-( I don't wanna get big but I'm scared I'm on a bad path for xmas! Nooooooo.... I must I must I must sort my binges out, ( micro binges) I need to tell myself would a size 8 person eat this .... NO they bloody wouldn't!!!

Get a grip Bandedhun'

Be kind to yourself.
Tough love is good to give yourself a good talking to but don't beat yourself up.
Hope things are better today. You got to your goal now you need to enjoy it. Just not with micro binges lol

 

[BandedHun]

Thanks peeps.

I've really gone down hill this week. Nose bleeds. Burst blood vessel in my eyes. I feel awful all the stress of work ... I'm not eating good food only crap and I expect a gain this week just purely on the fact my trousers feel tight.

I need to get my head straight for my health sake. I still haven't gotten round to bleaching my teeth with my new £200 set, still haven't started doing excercise and I've now ditched every single peice of clothing over a size12. So my clothes are now all XS , S or 8-10 .... Jeans and tops. If I don't get a grip of my emotions then those clothes will soon not fit! Silly isn't it. I think maintaining 10:7 feels so weird and it stayed with some naughty foods then when the crap started with work again and I feel all lost im kinda struggling and wanting to punish myself every night. Tonight has been a packet of McCoy and some Galaxy 2 lines and a cuppa tea. Last night was a tin of macaroni cheese and Galaxy! What the hell was I thinking!

I suppose it's good to see that even being at the lowest weight ever it's still a struggle everyday to maintain the weight you want to be. It doesn't go away. I just wanna go to my SW class Saturday and start a fresh week , looking and loving myself again. I have to be realistic. This is always going to happen. Like so many have echoed my words, how can we be expected not to turn to our faithful friends of a lifetime when we are in times of crisis.

I'm happy this is happening to be now. I have a good chance of sorting this before xmas so there's no massive issue around xmas. Going back to the gain I expect, I do know that the majority if it will be volume. Not actual fat going in my body just volume or junk in my gut system. So it's easily repairable.

I did a massive clear out of my daughters wardrobe and found her Franklin Marshall hoody and UCLA one. Both size 8 neither fit her and also my step daughters size 8 miss Selfridge jeans.... Yes you guess it they all fit. It did make me finally see how little I was. I would love to be 140lbs. That's 10st exactly but I'm just saying that coz I feel I need a chase to work towards. But I am Truly happy with my weight and grateful I achieved it in 6 months instead of a year

So hers my picture in my daughters size 8 UCLA jumper. Excuse no make up and greasy hair . We spend the day insulating out dig pen, fitting the central heating and lighting in there too... So scruffs on !!!



Size 8 jumper ;-)

 

[sharon2014]

Well banded, for no makeup etc your still looking fab, amazing u can fit in those clothes!!!

Lots of changes for you but I think it all happens for a reason! Don't beat urself up about the slip ups, they happen, but start new week fresh and u be back on track xx

 

[sparklysue]

I'm soooo jealous, and it's not even tight on you.
Do you think you are struggling because you are now at your goal so you don't have any more weight loss to aim for?
Everyone says maintaining is the hardest part.
You look fabulous, hope you soon feel happier xxxx

 

[WeightlossDreamer]

Looking good hun. I wouldn't worry too much about the bad week u understand where you've gone wrong and that eating like tat isn't good so don't stress yourself too much just sort it out next week! Must be lush to have a wardrobe with nothin over a size 12 in it! X x x

 

[BandedHun]

So still 10:7 ... No gain with my mad week. Can't grumble. This maintenance malarkey is hard graft and there's no celebration for it either . I'm starting to wonder whether I need to try loose say 3-4 more lbs,.. Just for xmas?!?!? I don't know. I just don't want to keep moving the goal post.

We went and brought a new heavy weight Dorma super king duvet it's amazing and then new diamonity bedding... In silver. Picture doesn't do it justice at all its shiney and just amazing!!!! Also got two new river island shirts ones silk and some primark shirts to knock about on too.

Whilst out, for the first time in 6 years I saw my brother in law today well... Ex ... The one who abused me. I stood frizen whilst he stared at me like I was **** on his shoe, looking up and down at me. I felt sick. OH clocked and looked at him, pointed in his face and shouted in front of everyone rapist c...U...N...T Ooops. And the guy backed away. Everyone was looking and he was bright red, I just stood shocked that I seen him again Bd it just made me feel dirty. It's crazy how these people have the ability to make you feel as if you are the one in the wrong. Still it was lovely to be with a guy who stood up and protected me, in front of hundreds of people ( pls I hope it's not offended anyone the language) im ok with it now. I didn't feel great at the time. My bands tightened as a result as I've been anxious. I'm just hoping I can eat my pork chop for dinner...

So there we are... Today's antics!!!! Zxxx