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Hi, I'm Kirsty, banded August 2014. My post op dairy

Well girls...two pound gain this morning. But I'm not down about it. As long as I am back in a loss position at the end of the week. Doing a liquid diet for two days to get this off :)

As dreamer said, some things are about compromise

I don't get away with much food wise though
 
Excellent to be positive Kirsty. You'll get it off. x
 
Fantastic Kirsty thats the attitude hunni..... Enjoy the journey, this is for life now............ no need to rush to the finishing line :) x x x x it will be off again in a couple of days and look what fun you had along the way x x x
 
Stayed e same on the scales again today so still +2lb. Still feel g ok about it as stuck to a liquid diet yesterday

Sooooo angry at Lindsay

I could not sleep last night and was looking through my phone at photos. He started on one...I had been away and out all weekend, now I couldn't put my phone down. How would I feel if the foot boot was on the other foot. Wtf!!!!!

It caused a major at 1am this morning and the. I couldn't sleep and I. At my desk at am this morning until 6pm his eve I g and I'm shattered and in a foul mood!!!

I left the house at 9am on Saturday and returned at 1pm on the Sunday to go to the lodge wih the girls

On Sunday I did just get changed and back out again. To paint my friends barn - she had asked for a hand, as she's turning it into a dog agility area. Lindsay's was included in the invite, but to be fair he is not fit for it. But he could have come with me and helped sweep the place clean

Yesterday my friend has been dumped by her partner so I went over to see her at 2.30 and was back by 5.30....then my friends daughter who has been dismissed fro work came over for so e advice and they did stay cha tring I t he do. I grow with me for. About 3 hours

The thing is, before my op, I was happy to sit on the couch, eating chocolate biscuits and drinking g tea on front of the tv. Or at night sitting with wine and nibbles. But now, I am on the go all the time, I can't afford to sit around because I tend to graze and eat. Lindsay is obviously feeling neglected.

To be honest he is retired and I tend to be his main focus and entertainment...and I find it a strain at times. We can't go out together for more than 3 or 4 hours tops. One of our wee rescue dogs has terrible separation. Anxiety and we don't like to leave her. Lindsay's day is day time tv mostly and it drives me crazy!

He is still lying gi. Bed at present....I am working from the office I. The house and I am livid at him. But at the same time I can understand his point of view. Gone is the woman who would curl up on the couch for a few hours with him, she is now walking the dogs for longer, going to the gym, doing aqua fit, swim I g and not really present with hi all that much

Don't know if anyone else has experience ced this

Before my op he told me he was worried that I would get skinny and go away wih a younger man lol. I really did laugh out loud at that. But I dont know if he is feeling very happy with the new woman he is left with

It's funny the band has really changed my life...his is why I need to get something to do to be able to spend time wih him sitting down in front of the telly, because me constantly being on my iPad or phone is a bone of contention with him
 
I think we underestimate how our surgery affects our partners. I had a massive row with my oh cUZ he thought I was having an affair with best friend (a woman!) really he was just feeling left out. It's his choice to not go out, socialise etc & I felt it was very unfair of him to accuse me of something so ridiculous! So what if I'm out the house more, 9 times out of 10 im at work! I suggested my other half got a hobby / new interest & he's taken up mending broken laptops & selling them on ebay. It's helped a lot as hes got something else to focus on & it gives him a sense of achievement
Maybe your oh would benefit from developing his own interests too? Might be worth suggesting it hun?
 
Thanks E.... That is exactly what I have been suggesting to him. As this is not the first time we have had this type of argument. Xx
 
The trick is getting him to think it was his idea in the 1st place ! My mum is Olympic gold at it, she'll briefly mention something (she calls it sewing the seed) then she leaves it for a while, pops it into conversation randomly a couple of times & ta-da my dad miraculously has a good idea! It's hilarious to watch!
 
I've been married to someone who would have been happier if I'd stayed big. That way non one would lure me away from him!

Kursty you spell the issues out as you wrote the post . He's insecure a bit bored, at a loss with you not on the sofa and he feels threatened and lonely.

People only behave negatively when they face a fear or threat. Ie loss of something.

I think you both need to talk not row or bicker and agree something that you both can do together you both enjoy and protect your time together.

Sadly I also know that no matter how many times one can try to reassure another. The other person can often refuse to accept such words.

If you find you are both beyond pulling back from getting into rows a councillor for 2 to 3 sessions can help. First ones often free and sessions needn't go in forever or cost the earth.

Most importantly if you love him you'll find away to work through it and he in return will get there with you x

It's part of the journey my lovely. The op was simply 1 part of the changes a now it's the relationship dynamics bit too

Xx rest after work. Hot bath and no hoopla hoops x
 
Kirsty, the telegraph did an article this year reporting that women suffer from RHS - retired husband syndrome- if you get chance Google it, it will make you smile. I can identify exactly what you are saying as I too am in that situation but without the weight loss yet. As for the two pounds gained, you will lose that, without a doubt xx
 
Awwww Kirsty, that's total rubbish.

Apart from the doggy getting separation anxiety, it sound like hubby is too. He sounds like he's really insecure and your new found confidence is a threat.

Retirement isn't about sitting on the sofa watching telly though is it, and although yes, it was you that made the change to your life - if he is feeling left out, it's up to him to do something about it.

I say carry on with what you're doing. You're enjoying life for the first time in ages, you look great, you feel great - don't let anyone pull you down. Xx
 
Girls...Lindsay popped his head round my office door and said "here comes Johnny". I couldn't help myself. Burst out laughing. We had a long talk. He admitted it was a long weekend for him. He said he missed me. A lot of men would love an empty, but he miss me. He admitted he was behaving like a phsyco

We discussed that when the van is shut up for the winter we do not get out together much because we never leave the dogs for more than 3 to 4 hours at a time. We have decided once a month to send them to the sitter or even doggy day care and get out for a full day then head out for something to eat

It does not solve the problem of Lindsay having no real interests. He is actually very. Happy in front of the tv then the pub for a couple of hours but I think he understands that is not for me on my non working days

So crisis averted for now lol

Thanks for all the help and support xx
 
Aww it's a step in the right direction tho Kirsty,I hope things sort themselves out,men are a funny species sometimes xxx
 
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