• Hi, If you cannot get into the site, be sure to Contact Us. Please be advised that the app is no longer in use!

Is it lunch time yet?

I don't need any sympathy but I do need to say this and at least ask...does anyone know why something that should have affected me on the day that it happened would hurt a billion times more a year later? I have been crying for 6 hours non stop and can't talk face to face to anyone not at all. I have been such a cow all day long because I really don't want this not now not ever but it just won't stop.
 
Maybey because you can't stuff the hurt down with food this year???

Is it really all about this one thing? Could it just be a build up of all the things your going through at the moment, and the floodgates opened?

Take care hunni xxxx
 
kurstywursty said:
Maybey because you can't stuff the hurt down with food this year??? Is it really all about this one thing? Could it just be a build up of all the things your going through at the moment, and the floodgates opened? Take care hunni xxxx
Click to expand...
no hun definitely this one thing it's just that it happened to be the start of everything and now I can't change it because it's too late to try. Even though it probably wouldn't have made one bit of difference anyway but I'm rambling so thanks hun xx
 
I think that no matter what went on in your previous life and no matter how it all ended, she was part of you and you were part of her and it's only now you are coming to terms with it and allowing yourself to accept that it's over. I think what your doing is quite a normal delayed reaction. You are after a person with feelings and it may have been hard for you to finely let go a year ago. :)
 
mouse57 said:
I think that no matter what went on in your previous life and no matter how it all ended, she was part of you and you were part of her and it's only now you are coming to terms with it and allowing yourself to accept that it's over. I think what your doing is quite a normal delayed reaction. You are after a person with feelings and it may have been hard for you to finely let go a year ago. :)
Click to expand...
wow hun I think you have hit the nail right on the head. Have heard of delayed reaction but never experienced it. So Thankyou I'm not going mad after all and if this means it will eventually stop then I'm going to be ok (at least I hope I am). Just got to accept that I really do have feelings then and deal with them accordingly. Thanks again hun xx
 
Well the tears have finally stopped and I think it was because I needed to tell someone that doesn't judge. Trying to tell someone face to face I just couldn't do because the questions would start and I can't give answers when I don't understand why I care after what I went through. So now I can try and fix what damage I have done today to my poor family. Oh well only 364 more days to go. Xx
 
cupid1964 said:
I don't need any sympathy but I do need to say this and at least ask...does anyone know why something that should have affected me on the day that it happened would hurt a billion times more a year later? I have been crying for 6 hours non stop and can't talk face to face to anyone not at all. I have been such a cow all day long because I really don't want this not now not ever but it just won't stop.
Click to expand...

I agree its emotions that in the past we've managed to shove back down inside with food to dull the hurt and pain...... but also a couple of days ago you said you needed to let it lie now, that you no longer wanted to let your past have a hold over you (or words to that effect) i thinks its almost a mourning for the past and after all the Mother.... no matter what happened between you guys she will always be your mother and that leaves an empty place in your heart no matter how much we try and cover it up .... its a great mask, hate.... it covers up our hurt our pain etc ...... I think hunni its also called healing and cleansing :) let it out..... trust me its a great start to that healing process. Funny how its easier to cling on to those old hurts rather than to let it go and heal.... this wl journey has a funny old effect lol your past (just like mine) is very much tied into your layers of protection, as they start to shed so will the past issues crop up, some will be difficult to deal with, some will bring back a whole host of emotions and reminders but one thing is for sure that with each of those barriers you have to cross the next will be easier and so on..... In the meantime sweetness, don't beat yourself up for these feelings just let them be, let them take their course, honestly they are better out than in :) take it one day at a time, just be gentle and kind with yourself until it passes (and it will) i promise this will make you stronger sweetness :) better equipped to face the next hurdle and soon somewhere down the line all your weight and issues will suddenly all fall into place.... its like the mist clearing and everything will be so much clearer ;) Mawwwwwwhhhhhhhh huge hugs x x x x x sending love n light sweetness x x x x x x
 
Crystalrainbow said:
I agree its emotions that in the past we've managed to shove back down inside with food to dull the hurt and pain...... but also a couple of days ago you said you needed to let it lie now, that you no longer wanted to let your past have a hold over you (or words to that effect) i thinks its almost a mourning for the past and after all the Mother.... no matter what happened between you guys she will always be your mother and that leaves an empty place in your heart no matter how much we try and cover it up .... its a great mask, hate.... it covers up our hurt our pain etc ...... I think hunni its also called healing and cleansing :) let it out..... trust me its a great start to that healing process. Funny how its easier to cling on to those old hurts rather than to let it go and heal.... this wl journey has a funny old effect lol your past (just like mine) is very much tied into your layers of protection, as they start to shed so will the past issues crop up, some will be difficult to deal with, some will bring back a whole host of emotions and reminders but one thing is for sure that with each of those barriers you have to cross the next will be easier and so on..... In the meantime sweetness, don't beat yourself up for these feelings just let them be, let them take their course, honestly they are better out than in :) take it one day at a time, just be gentle and kind with yourself until it passes (and it will) i promise this will make you stronger sweetness :) better equipped to face the next hurdle and soon somewhere down the line all your weight and issues will suddenly all fall into place.... its like the mist clearing and everything will be so much clearer ;) Mawwwwwwhhhhhhhh huge hugs x x x x x sending love n light sweetness x x x x x x
Click to expand...
thanks hun as always you know exactly how I feel and always get it right. I believe our paths must have crossed in another life as you know me so well. I have as I said finally stopped crying but unlike before I don't feel the guilt about doing so. My poor hubby didn't get much sleep before his night shift and the kids ears are ringing but I couldn't stop. So today is a new day so I will go with the flow and as always take it out on the cleaning up as long as I don't wake hubby tomorrow. I have made myself a promise when I went to see my pops and was heartbroken to see how little he has left and that's to be closer to him as I feel to many years lost between us. He knows how much I love him so I don't need to worry about guilt on that score I need to spend much more time with him. For him and for me. Thankyou so much hun you have helped me so much since I joined and I am so very grateful xxxx xxxx
 
One of your biggest coping mechanisms has been taken away hun and no matter how far down the line you come what happened last year hurts and it will continue to hurt n that's fine. Your emotions may change and range from deep upsetment to deep anger. I hear things on the news or watch a film etc and I can be in floods within minutes. The grief turns up unannounced and in the oddest of places but it's ok! X x big hugs! Hope you feel better soon x
 
Hi Cupid
Hope you are feeling better today.
Sorry to hear about the crying, seems your emotions were locked away for a while. So I should take the crying as a good thing, it means you are feeling emotions and letting them go.
Crying is not a bad thing, it releases some calming brain chemicals and maybe you need them right now,
it's a cleanising to make you feel better.

Take care xxx
 
Thanks so much everyone....went to the doctors today as I couldn't sleep and was still crying off and on right up to me seeing her. Her theory was pretty much a match to all that's been said on here so thank you. She asked if I want bereavement counselling however it's spelt then went in to see my regular doctor who says I could need more than that as due to a report on my file from a psychologist I saw as a teenager it could be PTSD. And that's long term help. He prescribed me some sleepers for the weekend and giving me time to think about it for a while. Gonna see how I go because before I had nobody and support from no-one.....joining this site and being able to speak to friends that don't judge me has been a lifeline I never could have imagined possible and not just for the surgery. I can say how I feel without having to turn to the man I love with all my heart. He's the love of my life that gets angry that he can't help me and I think that's because he can't do anything about it. He knows about as much of my past as daisy in a meadow but his anger causes such stress for me it's not what I want for him. So tonight I will sleep and hope that it's dreamless. To all of you I will be forever indebted.

Done my weigh in at doctors today and I don't know that it will change by morning. This week loss is 3lbs and takes me to 18st 11Lbs my lowest in 16 years. Enjoy your weekend dear friends I have the house to myself so bed time after I catch up with my soaps. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Being a fellow sufferer of PTSD i can full understand..... i have been offered many amounts of help, many of which wanted to rake over the past,others wanted to make me into super woman and push me beyond my limits far too quickly, but after moving house and a new doctors surgery i got booked in to see the councillor here, She has been the best thing ever..... her help was just plain simple 'talk therapy' no expectations on where it would go, we just chatted my issues out as they came up....and i must say its been the best thing for me ... i never wanted to rake over my past, i was terrified i would have to re live it all. I always knew i had to re visit to a degree to heal, but it happened quite naturally and very painlessly too. She made me see how things affected me as they happened, the best support i could have wished for along side of my wl journey, because everything did come up!!! I had just the 6 sessions spread over a long period of time, and the door is open to go back, which i will. She also gave me so many hints and tips and strategies :) All the years of not understanding fell into place, i learned to deal with things when they happened and learned to forgive myself as to why they happened instead of the usual 'i don't get it!!' 'stupid me' blah blah...... take all the help they offer hunni, if it helps, but don't do what doesn't suit you.... most of the therapy's really didn't work for me.....in fact some set me back many years..... so be careful.

Of course any kind of talking is always going to help hunni, unfortunately we are no experts lol yes we've been thru similar so can comment on our own experiences, but we are all different.... if you feel you need the help take it, see how it goes :)

LOL hubbys !!! as much as we love them, they just don't understand the deep emotions which us women have :) everything is pretty much black and white to them ....... even now , and my hubby knows a lot bout me and my past, but he still can not make the connection when things crop up and how and why things effect me so badly. I guess that why women always need a friend around to chat to where as they tend to be more stand alone lol

Know hunni we are always here to support you ....no hesitation :) x x x x x x get a great nights sleep, hope the nightmares stay away tonight x x x x sleep tight x x x x
 
No sleep last night but feel so much better today...after my appointment to see surgeon about my. Gall bladder I'm going to join spindles. As I'm now 50 I only pay £20 a month. I get unlimited use of the cardio room, resistance training room, swimming pool, sauna and jacuzzi free towels, a personal trainer to be with me as long as I want or if not a buddy link to reception if I need help. Add to that Apples (free) and robes to chill on the lounger. Open 7 days a. Week and no contract so can cancel when I choose. Now that's what I call a deal. Really excited I know it will take a long while to build up and I can't do what most people do due to disability but I can at least enjoy trying :)
 
That sounds like a good idea, in back to the swimming next week can't wait, but yours sounds o much nicer mine is just the tatty council job lol glad your feeling a bit better today. Just take it all as it comes :)
 
Glad your feeling better hunni and that sounds amazing think I'll move there n join just enjoy and don't overdo it slow and steady wins the race and all that
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top