mandy-1975
Regular Member
meant to add on top of all that, still have this cysititis and thrush, have managed to get into see the nurse at the surgery this afternoon........ real bugger!!!!!!
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My Gastric Bypass Journey -Onwards and Upwards-Well this is a start
- Thread starter mandy-1975
- Start date
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Thanks charliegirl.......... it was fantastic.... still smiling from it
hopelesscase
New Member
i would of still been in henleys
playing lol
playing lol
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Well been a manic day.... been looking for mincemeat everywhere, managed to final find some!!!!!! I want to do some baking!
Had my Jordon here in work with me today, and will be for the morning tomorrow....... tell you what it aint half stressful!
got a spliting headache, must be from all the mum, mum, mum..... think i might change my name.......
Hope everyone is well
Had my Jordon here in work with me today, and will be for the morning tomorrow....... tell you what it aint half stressful!
got a spliting headache, must be from all the mum, mum, mum..... think i might change my name.......
Hope everyone is well
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Morning Everyone,
Hope you all had a fab Christmas
Hope you all had a fab Christmas
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Christmas Day
Well had a wonderful day Christmas day, althought we didnt wake up till 8.15 am how late!!!!!!!!!! went to see my friend then back home and bit of brunch!!!!
Was off to spend xmas dinner with my father and his partner and her daughter and partner... fist time in 21years!!!!!!! I was apprehensive and scared!!!!!!!!! as you can imagine...
Well arrived and felt rather awkward, we dished out presents.... (thats another time) then for the starter my dad had made homemade soup.... I don't like soup so asked to not have anything... on the table were all these extras - bread, onions(pickled) beetroot.... salad.... so much food!!!!! i decided to have a bit of beetroot... I love it!!!!
Then was the main, i saw the plates with the turkey on it and my dad had put loads and loads onit i asked him to take a bit off......
Then the brought in the plates - he had but 6 huge roast potatoes on mine i nearly died... then there was so much veg and stuffing it was awful....
I did my best and managed a little!!!! then he tried to feed me with trifle, I nearly died! then we sat chatting all was fine, but then he decided he wanted to pick an argument...
Started telling me He didn't agree with me having the op...... that i hadn't thought about it, i was selfish, I could of lost weight normally i lost it and told him he knew nothing of what i had suffered as he chose to walk out when it came out i was pregnant at 13... his answer I WAS AN ADULT!!!!!!! well as you can imagine it got worse.... he proceeded to tell me that whilst i was being abused I should of known better as i was an adult!!! thats all he kept screaming at me... my husband stood between him and me as my father was grabbing me, which then resulted in a confrontation between them!!!!!
We left I was upset and feel terrible, can't stuff my face with food as my brain so wants me too....... and that was it!!!
He sent me a text saying he had sent me an email and he loved me..... Yeah right....
The email says I am always welcome in his house and he loves me........ and then it says if my husband wants to finsih what he started he is welcome to go round and he will kill him.... lovely really.......
I am upset but I am proud of the fact that I was an adult and had my say!!!!!
As for my father - I couldn't care a less about him now, he will die a lonely death...... he has certanily shown me his true colours... Im no longer that little fat gilr who he could control and manipulate!!!!!!
Well had a wonderful day Christmas day, althought we didnt wake up till 8.15 am how late!!!!!!!!!! went to see my friend then back home and bit of brunch!!!!
Was off to spend xmas dinner with my father and his partner and her daughter and partner... fist time in 21years!!!!!!! I was apprehensive and scared!!!!!!!!! as you can imagine...
Well arrived and felt rather awkward, we dished out presents.... (thats another time) then for the starter my dad had made homemade soup.... I don't like soup so asked to not have anything... on the table were all these extras - bread, onions(pickled) beetroot.... salad.... so much food!!!!! i decided to have a bit of beetroot... I love it!!!!
Then was the main, i saw the plates with the turkey on it and my dad had put loads and loads onit i asked him to take a bit off......
Then the brought in the plates - he had but 6 huge roast potatoes on mine i nearly died... then there was so much veg and stuffing it was awful....
I did my best and managed a little!!!! then he tried to feed me with trifle, I nearly died! then we sat chatting all was fine, but then he decided he wanted to pick an argument...
Started telling me He didn't agree with me having the op...... that i hadn't thought about it, i was selfish, I could of lost weight normally i lost it and told him he knew nothing of what i had suffered as he chose to walk out when it came out i was pregnant at 13... his answer I WAS AN ADULT!!!!!!! well as you can imagine it got worse.... he proceeded to tell me that whilst i was being abused I should of known better as i was an adult!!! thats all he kept screaming at me... my husband stood between him and me as my father was grabbing me, which then resulted in a confrontation between them!!!!!
We left I was upset and feel terrible, can't stuff my face with food as my brain so wants me too....... and that was it!!!
He sent me a text saying he had sent me an email and he loved me..... Yeah right....
The email says I am always welcome in his house and he loves me........ and then it says if my husband wants to finsih what he started he is welcome to go round and he will kill him.... lovely really.......
I am upset but I am proud of the fact that I was an adult and had my say!!!!!
As for my father - I couldn't care a less about him now, he will die a lonely death...... he has certanily shown me his true colours... Im no longer that little fat gilr who he could control and manipulate!!!!!!
Perissa
New Member
Jesus Mandy what a bast*ard. You DO NOT OWE THIS .....'MAN' ANYTHING. He wasn't, certainly isn't and doesn't deserve to be given the honour of being a father to you, nor a grandfather to Jordan.
You do not need his poison in your life.
Do NOT believe for one minute the people who say blood is thicker than water and family is everything. It ISN'T. Family have to earn the respect it takes to be family and when they abuse that respect you do not have to put up with it.
I take it all this happened in front of Jordan, what the hell of an impression has that made on him!!!!
I really hope you find the strength and peace that comes with doing what is best for you and not what is expected.
I really hate all this fake family stuff, they may be your family (I'm talking generally now not specific to your family) but that doesn't mean you have to like them or put up with the crap they dish out simply because they are family.
And as for saying that a 13 year old is an adult, NOT in the eyes of the law. He obviously thinks its OK to screw a 13 year old............
Edited to add that I am not sorry if anyone is offended by my post. You cannot even begin to imagine what the damage is like when your parents commit the ultimate betrayal.
You do not need his poison in your life.
Do NOT believe for one minute the people who say blood is thicker than water and family is everything. It ISN'T. Family have to earn the respect it takes to be family and when they abuse that respect you do not have to put up with it.
I take it all this happened in front of Jordan, what the hell of an impression has that made on him!!!!
I really hope you find the strength and peace that comes with doing what is best for you and not what is expected.
I really hate all this fake family stuff, they may be your family (I'm talking generally now not specific to your family) but that doesn't mean you have to like them or put up with the crap they dish out simply because they are family.
And as for saying that a 13 year old is an adult, NOT in the eyes of the law. He obviously thinks its OK to screw a 13 year old............
Edited to add that I am not sorry if anyone is offended by my post. You cannot even begin to imagine what the damage is like when your parents commit the ultimate betrayal.
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Thanks Hun!!!!!!!!! My emotions have been rather awry at the moment......... Yep was done in front of my little man Jordon...... he never wants to see that man again!!!!!!
Thing I think hurts the most is for so long I had been saying to myself it wasn't my fault and then he completely throws that in my face and blames me!!!!!!! mentally I am a wreck but i am keeping it together!!!! I completely agree with you on the family thing!
Thing I think hurts the most is for so long I had been saying to myself it wasn't my fault and then he completely throws that in my face and blames me!!!!!!! mentally I am a wreck but i am keeping it together!!!! I completely agree with you on the family thing!
charliegirl
New Member
Hi mandy only just seen your post, sorry you had such a lousy time chick....dont let the bugger grind you down, you hold your head up high because you can...we cant choose our friends but unfortunately we cannot choose our family...(((((hugs))))....xx
hopelesscase
New Member
Mandy you were not to blame it was not your fault not then, not now, never.
Any Adult who feels that they can portry the blame onto a child has a massive problem especially after all these years yr old man has a big problem GUILT.
hope the new year brings brighter things
take care
carole
Any Adult who feels that they can portry the blame onto a child has a massive problem especially after all these years yr old man has a big problem GUILT.
hope the new year brings brighter things
take care
carole
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Hi Guys thanks for your support!!! Well things, went from bad to worse! he sent me an email telling me it was my fault I should be ashamed of my behaviour, in the email, he states I was old enough and should known better..............
At first I wanted to argue abck at him, but in the end I decided on writing an email back and saying that i have come this far and acheived alot and it wasnt down to him, and that I can mangae another 20-30 years without him so bye..........
Yesterday I felt better about sending it, today I feel like poo.... doesnt help I want to eat and eat and I can't... as we know food makes me feel better.............
I have tried calling my support group but as i missed the last session i hadn't relised they are closed up until the 4th........
I just want to cry.... and i am angry I have let him amke me feel like this!!!!!!!
Just wanted to say Thank you for all your support, it means alot esp at a time like now!!!!!!!
At first I wanted to argue abck at him, but in the end I decided on writing an email back and saying that i have come this far and acheived alot and it wasnt down to him, and that I can mangae another 20-30 years without him so bye..........
Yesterday I felt better about sending it, today I feel like poo.... doesnt help I want to eat and eat and I can't... as we know food makes me feel better.............
I have tried calling my support group but as i missed the last session i hadn't relised they are closed up until the 4th........
I just want to cry.... and i am angry I have let him amke me feel like this!!!!!!!
Just wanted to say Thank you for all your support, it means alot esp at a time like now!!!!!!!
charliegirl
New Member
Hi Mandy dont feel bad about sending the email, you only said what you feel and its done now. You have to think of number one and thats you in this incident. Try to stop thinking about the food otherwise thats another way he is winning, dont let him. You are stronger than that and you will get through it. Dont give him another thought for a few days and give yourself time to breath and get your head around it all. There are families across the country all at each others throats at this time of the year so you are not alone....chin up chick...xx
hopelesscase
New Member
Hi mandy it always beggers belief that the time of year that people are going to possiably need most support are the times these places are closed.
As a foster carer i have worked with lots of children who have been abused over the years and the ignorance of some parents who would rather aportion blame to the child rather than realise they failed in protecting their children is unbelievable.
Dont let him get you down you had done so well and offered the branch to re build the bridges. He obviously still cannot be adult in all of this, you have yr own family to love and protect so put all yr efforts into doing that and leave him to work out where he went wrong as you get on with yr life.
take care
carole
As a foster carer i have worked with lots of children who have been abused over the years and the ignorance of some parents who would rather aportion blame to the child rather than realise they failed in protecting their children is unbelievable.
Dont let him get you down you had done so well and offered the branch to re build the bridges. He obviously still cannot be adult in all of this, you have yr own family to love and protect so put all yr efforts into doing that and leave him to work out where he went wrong as you get on with yr life.
take care
carole
Nic318
Post-op Gastric Bypass
Hiya hun
As Linda said don't feel bad about sending it, I think it was mild to be honest and my advice is delete any more he sends you without reading them because every time you give him a chance he messes it up and then you feel guilty.
You are the most generous, kind, loyal person I have met and you don't deserve that treatment.
Here's to a better 2009 for you hun and I'm sending you a huge virtual hug (wish I could in person)! Will see you in the New Year hun and always remember I love you loads xxxxx
As Linda said don't feel bad about sending it, I think it was mild to be honest and my advice is delete any more he sends you without reading them because every time you give him a chance he messes it up and then you feel guilty.
You are the most generous, kind, loyal person I have met and you don't deserve that treatment.
Here's to a better 2009 for you hun and I'm sending you a huge virtual hug (wish I could in person)! Will see you in the New Year hun and always remember I love you loads xxxxx
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Thank you Carole, I know doing the kind of work you do that you definaetly understand, and also understand how I am feeling........I am going to look at today as the end of an era and the begining of a new me!!!!!
Thank you for your support
Thank you for your support
mandy-1975
Regular Member
Thank you hun......... I know you you care........ I have my wonderful husband and son, and my friends like you and thats all i need to surround myself with......
