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My Gastric Bypass Journey -Onwards and Upwards-Well this is a start

Thaialina said:
Hi Mandy,
I'm sending lots of hugs your way. Sorry I'm not on here a lot, life (not v exciting) and the gym (grrr) are taking over. Glad you had a lovely day on the beach and that you have a lovely new bag. Hope the dr appointment helps xxx
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Hi Sara,

Thank you........ means alot!!!!!!! new bag is lovely!!!!

Thanks for hugsxxxxxxxxx

Drs went okish..... got to go back next week........
 
Morning All

Well, im feeling so tired today!!!!!!! not sleeping well at all.......... which i know is expected!

Was looking forward to a nice small salad and some fish last night for tea, well made it, and in the end binned it not eating very much of it at all.... the fish tasted awful.... i usually like it... and the salad well i spent all night feeling like it was stuck and feeling sick!!!!!

Got my support group to go to tonight, its an organisation called cisters, it works out fortnightly, on a friday evening, the last one i went to, i didn't get a chance to talk much about whats going on in my head, but the lady sent me a card and a cd she had done for me, of what she calls warrior music, they say that when its tought you need to listen to some warrior music to lift your spirts...

Well its been in my car ever since, and there are a few that i don't like but can understand why, but one of them, is not sure of title..... goes step by step day by day.... if you know the one, well i listern to this constantly at moment.....

Well I need to get this off my chest!!!!

As you know I had a son from my abuser..... well I have never really had much contact with him now for about 12 years he turns 20 in April, he has been into some trouble and has not long been released into the car of a unit, that is there to help him.... looks like he is getting lots of help and also being kept apart from our mother... they refuse to let him go back to her........ (not sure if some of you know he is completely deaf) well about two years ago, he got in touch via texting, and all i got was it's xmas soon i want this and that.... nothing else no how are you, hows jordon nothing.... all what he wanted me to buy him!!!!!

Now I know that this is coming via my mother and learnt behaviour, but i couldn't put myself through that sort of relantionship.... well this time around, he has got in touch via the centre and support workers.... at first it was going really well, and i thought yep maybe we could build on this... see he doesn't know what happened to me or how he came about and he thinks is uncle(who is actually his dad) is the bee's knees and he also worships his nan!! but i was taking it one day at a time.... i won't give him my address or details of my life as i know he would tell my mother......

Well then it started, i got texts saying don't forget it's my birthday soon... i want a ps3... then i get nothing on Sunday i got another one.... exactly the same....... it makes me so mad!!!! I get that it comes from my mother and I understand that but it hurts and is so damaging that I don't know where to go with it all....

Spoke to my sister yesterday, she totally understands how frustrated I am with it, and she tries to be supportive, she told me to go back and say I want a bmw for mothers day!! LOL.......

Thing is non of this helps with the mind, or the whole eating thing..........

I knwo the good thing is i haven't been eating lots of bad things, I have been trying to me be good.... but in my mind if i could comfort eat like i did i would feel so much better!!!!!! sounds silly I know.........

well thanks for reading if you have...... sorry for just rambling on and on.......
 
Hi Mand dont know what to say advice wise but hang on in there chick things will get easier for you one day.....concentrate on you and Jordan let everyone else worry about themselves.... (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))...xx
 
it's not mad saying you would feel better if you could comfort eat. People comfort eat because they are stressed and the food provides a temporary relief...but it's a destructive coping mechanism in long run ....going to support groups etc is a better way

i have not had wls[wish i could] but i know one of the challanges is learning to deal with difficult emotions without food and finding comfort elsewhere...if i had wls and couldn't eat comfort food i would miss it alot...though i would still love wls as i hate myself for being heavy and greedy

i imagine for youwho has being through so much this is horrendousyly difficult but your doing well trying to face your demons without food


hang in there
 
Stupid said:
it's not mad saying you would feel better if you could comfort eat. People comfort eat because they are stressed and the food provides a temporary relief...but it's a destructive coping mechanism in long run ....going to support groups etc is a better way

i have not had wls[wish i could] but i know one of the challanges is learning to deal with difficult emotions without food and finding comfort elsewhere...if i had wls and couldn't eat comfort food i would miss it alot...though i would still love wls as i hate myself for being heavy and greedy

i imagine for youwho has being through so much this is horrendousyly difficult but your doing well trying to face your demons without food


hang in there
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Thank you so muchxxxxxxxxxxx
 
I can't say I know what you're going through because i don't. Maybe he is pushing you the boundaries to see how far you are willing to go and what he can get away with. I know that doesn't help you, be strong and stick to your guns and hopefully when he realises that you are not a push over the request for presents will stop, and he will realise that you are there for better reasons than gifts.
Hope you're feeling better soon chick. ((((((((BIG HUGS))))))) xXx
 
Mand for some reason you were not in my friends list I have added you....wonder were you went cos I am sure you were in there????? anyway your back in now and can view my blog...xx
 
Thanks Hunny....

Am goign to see if I can go home soon,,,, don't think there is much chance of it but will try..... my mood is getting darker and the fact that I don't feel to good....... think i am about to come down with something.....

Its amazing how many people have said to me you don't look to good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think they are trying to say something to me.... LOL

Big hugs everyone
 
Mandy nothing i can say can make that much difference, your 'son' is obviously playing you off against your mother which in the long term will not be good for him.

Take notice of what others are saying to you, if you do not look good, it probably does mean the stress is showing a lot. Perhaps some YOU time where you go away and use it to relax without any contact from anyone (or just one or two very close friends) is in order
 
Hi Mandy, have just caught up on your thread and wanted to say that I feel for you. That is not to say that I feel sorry for you, I would never say that. I just wanted you to know that even though we are strangers, your story and struggles move me. You have been very brave to have surgery & to come on here and honestly discuss your ups and downs. Know that others take comfort in the fact that you have been so brave & honest. Also know that because of your honest expression, you have gained a whole group of people that care about you and really wish for your success and happiness. We may not all be your close friends but we do care and I hope that you can feel that concern and hope for brighter days ahead.

Be well & know you are not alone out there.

Nic:)
 
phatgirl said:
Hi Mandy, have just caught up on your thread and wanted to say that I feel for you. That is not to say that I feel sorry for you, I would never say that. I just wanted you to know that even though we are strangers, your story and struggles move me. You have been very brave to have surgery & to come on here and honestly discuss your ups and downs. Know that others take comfort in the fact that you have been so brave & honest. Also know that because of your honest expression, you have gained a whole group of people that care about you and really wish for your success and happiness. We may not all be your close friends but we do care and I hope that you can feel that concern and hope for brighter days ahead.

Be well & know you are not alone out there.

Nic:)
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Hi Nic

Thank you so much for your kind and caring words!! they do mean alot to mexxxxx
 
I been spring cleaning down here, and having a real sort out!!!!!!!!! just found out my manager and friend is off sick for the week, whihc means not only do i do my job I have to do all hers too..........

xxxxxxxxxxx
 
Just a little........... can't decide do I go to B&Q tonight or tomorrow night...... going to redecorate jordons room.... he is having a man utd room....... it's gonna look so good..........
 
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