my hospital experience

[PurpleKylie22]

I have always tried to be a nice person. The person I am on here is the person I really am. I have no need for pretense and lies and none of you need any fake people in your lives either. I don't really know why he seems so intent on hurting me unless he really is trying to get me to leave him because he's too much of a coward to leave me. The ex is a good guy but I have had my fill of guys telling me I mean everything to them and then finding out it was just another bs line to get what they wanted. Maybe I should stop trying with men and look for a decent woman...??? Idk if anything will ever change about how I feel about the ex. Things are definitely changing about the way I feel about the husband though.
lots of love

Your going through too much right now to have any clue how you will feel in the long term about anyone I think. You have done all you can by telling the ex the truth so there's no nothing else you can do to change the way he feels about you. I think you are spot on with why you husband is doing it. Sounds very much like a typical man thing to do to "solve" the situation

My general view point is, life is too long to limit yourself to just one sex. There are Billions of people in the world and male or female you will find the right person when you are meant to find them. Don't rush yourself, enjoy getting to know yourself again. Moving out will be HUGE and will really give you a chance to actually work out what you want in life and what you like about yourself, who you are.

 

[VikiB]

you are so right about me not being able to make a decision able anything long term with anyone and the truth is as I have said before I really do just want to be alone. Don't get me wrong it would be brilliant having lots of friends to hang out with male and/or female but honestly I just don't really want a romantic relationship with anyone atm. I want to take care of me and do things that make me happy...maybe do some things I've wanted to do for years but my life was on the back burner so everyone else could have one. Deep breath...lol

 

[Tray3004]

Chin up hunni ur hubby is a selfish moron n karma will pay him bk xx hope u feel stronger soon ur doin great ;-) xx

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[Snow White]

I have always tried to be a nice person. The person I am on here is the person I really am. I have no need for pretense and lies and none of you need any fake people in your lives either. I don't really know why he seems so intent on hurting me unless he really is trying to get me to leave him because he's too much of a coward to leave me. The ex is a good guy but I have had my fill of guys telling me I mean everything to them and then finding out it was just another bs line to get what they wanted. Maybe I should stop trying with men and look for a decent woman...??? Idk if anything will ever change about how I feel about the ex. Things are definitely changing about the way I feel about the husband though.
lots of love

Hahaha! I told my OH I was using my remaining heterosexuality on him so he should appreciate it!

 

[pandora]

i often wonder if men really are worth all our time & effort , more often than not i decide no , so right now the only man in my life is my dad , & it will stay that way for a while to come .
stay strong viki , you're doing so well xx

 

[Nanny Og]

I'm a great believer in what goes around comes around. He'll get what's due for him in due course.

Try to keep your positive outlook as that makes you the stronger and better person

xx

 

[Dinda]

I can't claim to have read all your diary (30 pages - who's a popular lady??) but I DO know your husband is a waste of your time and energy. I would imagine living with him would be enough to drain anyones energy, confidence and self worth. You have also just had surgery and are dealing with all the ups and downs that come alongside getting to know the new you.

Your ex sounds like a nice person, accept that he loves you because you have positive qualities that are loveable/desirable. You can love his friendship and support without being 'in love' with him. It is really important he isn't led to believe there could be something more there - it sounds like you are making that clear to him. Leading people on and playing with their emotions sounds far more your husbands game, and it WILL catch up with hm.

I don't know how you have the strength to have other women sleeping under your roof. I could not hold my tongue on that one, no way. Get out as soon as you are safely able and don't look back.

As for your Valentines day dilemma - why not spend it with someone who needs and deserves your love, respect and attention? I'm talking about YOU. Have a night in/out with friends, or spend some time or money on yourself, if you can't financially stretch to a hairdressers appointment or facial get yourself a yummy face pack and soak in a scented bath. Enjoy the gorgeous and loving person you are - and treat yourself like a special person, not just one day a year either!!

 

[VikiB]

Thank you very much my lovely friends. I love you all so much and you always give me the strength I need to keep going day after day and grow stronger day after day. I am going to spend some time and energy on myself. One of my friends suggested going and having my eyebrows (and mustache lol) threaded. I have decided as soon as I make it to 200 lbs I'm going to get my hair done and I have other things I would love to pamper myself with so I will be treating myself to some much needed (and maybe even deserved) tlc. I am planning to go to my exs for vday but I also intend to have a long talk with him about our relationship and make it plainly clear I have no intentions of making it romantic any time soon if ever. I enjoy being with him and doing things (not sexual) with him but I really REALLY like the idea of going home (to my own place) when the night comes. I need time for me to just live...I never have. I've always taken care of someone and now it's time for me to take care of me.
hope all of you are doing great.
Have a good evening
lots of love

 

[Snow White]

I'm telling ya that girl at the Broadway is the mustache whisperer!!! Lmao

 

[Nige65]

Ive not read every post on here but can say that it never works second time round even if your ex seems great at the moment.

Oh and not all guys are bad people we all have faults male and female that makes us individuals with different personalitys relationships are hard work and people give up but to really have a good relationship all problems are shared equally any skimping or secrets and your doomed thats only my beliefs .

 

[Tray3004]

Hi hun glad ur feelin much better 2day enjoy ur pampering u deserve it xx

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[VikiB]

Ive not read every post on here but can say that it never works second time round even if your ex seems great at the moment.

Oh and not all guys are bad people we all have faults male and female that makes us individuals with different personalitys relationships are hard work and people give up but to really have a good relationship all problems are shared equally any skimping or secrets and your doomed thats only my beliefs .

You're right everyone has faults. Relationships are hard work and I have have put everything into this marriage and he still thought it was a good plan to have an affair. I even tried to suck it up and repair us after the affair but he just kept having the affair and then told me he wanted us to share him because he loved us both. She left him after a little while and all the drama but instead of letting it go he just decided to find someone to replace her with. I don't know what else I could do to save us. The ex is only an ex because I tried to move on and find someone new and it was too soon and I was still in love with my husband. If the truth be known I still am and I'm likely to be for a while but I know we can't be saved. He has no desire to save us...he wants to have his maid (me) and a spare (any other girl). Maybe its wrong of me to expect my husband to be faithful but I do. I have no intentions of going back to the ex right now either if ever I just like having a male friend who respects me. I hope someday to meet someone who has the same morals as I do and is as committed to me as I am to him. Btw I never had any secrets I kept from my husband he however still has loads of them. I hope I have not offended you or anyone else.
Have a great day

 

[VikiB]

Ok apparently I shouldn't have said what went on in my head. I apologise. I have had a hard time just dealing with life and didn't mean to be snappy about it at all. I was only trying to say I didn't give up until it was clear there was nothing left to hope for. I still have a small amount of hope because as much of an idiot as he is I still love him. I promised I would til death parted us and I tried really hard to be all he wanted me to be it just wasn't enough or I didn't try hard enough or he didn't.
I am sorry this has turned more into the saga of my life than it is about my surgery and the journey attached to it. I am well surgery wise. All my incisions have healed. The one that got infected is going to scar pretty bad but in the grand scheme of things I can live with that. I am managing to eat 3 times a day and snack once but I eat so little that even my daughter is starting to worry about it. I'm 12 days from real food but not sure how that is going to go since I have a hard time eating most things if I have to chew them and reminding myself to eat slow has become a mission. The nausea is finally doing better and only happens occasionally now. I have lost enough to be able to fit into all the pants I ever bought pre-op except one and should be able to wear them by next weekend. I am still losing about a pound a day. Have noticed that my hands are starting to look bony lol. Anyhow I hope you are all ok.
Once again I apologise for being a grouch yesterday.
lots of love

 

[Tonibones10]

Do not apologise for saying what you have, you are being so strong no not all men are the same just a lot of them are and there is no excuse for those kind of "men" there are some diamonds out there, I've never met them but you hear about it don't you, I'm glad your feeling abit better and hope you can start to eat more soon keep going sweetheart loads of love! Xx

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[NOMOREyoyo]

Its your Diary hunni so you can say what you want, ppl dont have to read comment or give advice, its nice when they do and sometimes not what you want to hear but hey aint that just true about life in general.... Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one.

Dont worry about ''food'' not everyone's tummy recovers at the same rate & my restriction doesnt allow me to eat alot either so keep doing what you're doing hunni and big ((((((hugs)))))) xxx

 

[Newmelani]

Don't ever apologize for anything you say here. I think getting it off your chest is healthy. Besides, you have lots of friends here. Great job on the weight loss! I can't wait til I start losing. I was hoping I would lose enough before I go back to work for people to notice. But, its not looking like that will happen. I think you just need to focus on getting your own place. Once you do that, everything will turn around for you!

 

[VikiB]

Ok I didn't get a call from the council so hopefully my bidding code will come in the week I went to the exs yesterday and we had a chat and I told him it makes me feel guilty when he gets me things because I know he is in love with me and I just want to be friends and he said I shouldn't feel guilty at all I have always been honest about things with him and he knows I only want and need a friend. He also said he hopes that someday we get back together but even if we never do he still wants me as his friend forever and he gets me things because he wants to so I shouldn't worry about it at all. Thats a huge relief for me. I do like him very much and would be lost without his friendship but as I said at this point in time friendship is all I want from anyone. I've spent too much time trying to please others it's my turn now.
I've lost another 2 pounds since Thursday. I was stuck for about 5 days not losing anything but I upped my protein (I just can't manage more food which was what was suggested to others) and I'm losing again. Though I suppose it's just me being an impatient idiot really lol. I made it through yesterday with no nausea. I know this is going to make someone yell but I had a tiny bit of diet coke. I can only drink tea and coffee. I hate water and squash etc juice makes me feel sick even if I dilute it and milk is a drink I have to be very cautious with. I do know I shouldn't have fizzy drink yet but it was so nice and I only had a very small amount.
I hope you are all fine today and warm (it's freezing here brrrr)
lots of love

 

[Tonibones10]

I'm glad your feeling better about your ex hun and well done on the weightloss keep going huni loads of love Xx

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[angee]

Sorry I've been down for a few days and just stayed off the forum because I feel like all my moaning is maybe putting someone off and I don't want to affect someone elses journey in a negetive way.
I'm feeling a bit better today though my head is spinning with things that are not wl related and I have a terrible inner turmoil going on.
I hope you all are well

Oh please do moan. It is good for you to get it out and you are not boring us.

 

[pandora]

glad to hear things sorted with the ex & you are both happy with the way things are , as long as you both remain open & honest with each other then things should be ok .