Weekly weigh in

[Fuffs]

(((Hugs)))


It's no surprise you are where you are head wise. You have so much more than just yourself to contend with!

I really hate how doctors can leave people in limbo. It's very unfair.

You are right. When I hide, that is also when I am at my most vulnerable and in need of support.

So well done in avoiding the 'cave'. They reckon men use it. Buy I have frequented it too xxx

 

[amanda577]

With all you have to cope with penny, it's no wonder you need some support outside of the family... Hope your doctor can refer you for counselling maybe or at least a support group to help you deal with all of this.. You have done so amazingly well with the weight loss, and dealing with your son, and hubby & keeping it all together, that maybe you deserve a little time out to charge your batteries back up...

 

[chrisa]

I understand Penelope i am in the same boat want ot jus go run and hide, don't know how i have gotten through this week without bursting into tears, vrey close to it today, have to show the sen manager my resources tomorrow she wants to see them, probably wnat to pull them to bits, she has taken the key to my little room and told me to get a locker n use it, so did just that am playing the game even tho i am furious n upset bout it all. I ahev sent a kid to her room twice for it just making a point an dhave moved most of my stuff out she will geta shock when she goes down there. Tough tit. I'm not sleepin dunno bout you, gte to bout 3 if i'm lucky then am up, just so ticked off think we should put our family together and move intogether. My daughter recently got engaged to her bf, and my son is under the doc and hospital as he has been passing bits of blood n coughing it up too, sent straight to hospital last week for xrays and then has done bloods sputem the works and doc guna ring when all results are back, just bit more worry on our back. He is still having problems with his finances, think this problem may well be an ulcer and i would think it could be dow to stress bout his cash problems. Eh what a life we have, have come home had a good rant at the hubby, n he is going to work shortly so he has a bee in his bonnet now xx tomorrow can only get better xx

 

[penelope1008]

Omg who is living whose life here we both sound as if oneway or another we have similar crap going down that sod the families lets just run together.
I do hope the results for your son are just an ulcer rather than something sinister although just isn't meant lightly. Also that things go well tomorrow, deep breath if not & ask her to clearly clarify exactly what she expects in writing so if she moves the gate posts again you have written guidelines to shove where the sun don't shine!
I know the lack of sleep feeling I rarely sleep past 2 or 3 then doze if I'm lucky & until the alarm goes off, if I'm unlucky the brain kicks in & I'm finally falling asleep at around the time for the alarm & struggle to get up at 05.30 by the time I've washed my hair had a wash & got dressed it 6am feed the cats make my lunch, & breakfast sorted what needs to be got out for tea, possibly put washing on & or the tumble dryer, got round to eating breakfast & had a cuppa & meds its time to leave for work at 08.00. But then that sort of schedule is much the same for us all post op the up early to ensure we eat & drink before work. Lol
Whatever happens tomorrow remember you are good at your job & can do it with your eyes shut so don't let the ******* get to you. Here if you need me, or via email or phone!

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[chrisa]

Thanx Penelope, yes am ready to run away where should we set up a new home where in the country would you like top go most and I will be up for it. The ******** have got me down, i hat myself for being so soft, just cannot help it, I am good enough just can I show her I am, tech teachers have had ameeting with her tonight as i left so will see what he has to say in morning, cos he is NQT n so is the other tech teacher I work with the bulk of the time, problem is they see me more as a TA in practicals rather than an LSA, fine line sometimes, will let you know how I get on take care Pen chin up luvva n I'll try n do tha same. Hankies at the ready xx

 

[chrisa]

Well Penelope my day started bout 2.45am. Phone call from our son at work in night shift, was feeling ill again, chest pain coughing up blood his lift was taking him to A n E. He just rang bout 15 mins ago to say they have donr heart trace, its ok. They have done chest x ray, and its clear, they are now runningblood tests the doc doesnt know what is causing it, think he may end up having camera down n a scan to be honest. Just what I need bit more stress. Will message you tonight with whatever news I have hope its all bloomin good, supposed to be goin to Blackpool tomoro with work n come back Sunday, will have to wait n see, have a good stress free day Pen xx

 

[penelope1008]

Omg I hope they get to the bottom of it poor lad & poor you.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you today for all of it. I agree the fine line is to often blurred with my HLTA role in expected to the reports, monitoring, disabling & parent evenings that teachers do without the training I fell down that gap. It took a lot of asking to do the same in house training as the Nqt's as well as the gtp & PGCE students we have & that spread over two school years as I got forgotten at the start of one so had to do that part in the next round.
This week they've changed my hours forgotten my extra duties & changed the remit on those extra duties put notes out to tutors who've told the kids of the change all without telling me so I'm saying no its wrong having asked & been told at the start of term it hasn't changed to be told yesterday as due to their cockup over the pay level (HLTA rate rather than midday supervisor rate) for that breakfast duty I need to run it as a revision club to.
TGIF got detentions of my class & a teacher who doesn't work today but set them anyway! One of mine has break & lunch as having not done her homework & been caught copying it seemed to think she could apply her lippy before the end of my lesson (we have a no make up policy) silly girl & for those on lunch detention our lesson is just before lunch will they escape it, will they heck as like!
Good luck if you get away with school but family wins every time so if needs be school will cope!
Whatever happens be strong & try to get some down time.
My escape of choice is the Spanish mountains cheap way of life, warm & beautiful lets hope my lotto numbers come up this weekend!

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[chrisa]

He's just got home from the hospital Pen, all clear apart from the liver function has to go to gp this morning, hospital can't find a reason for it. At least he's home and I get some light relief boozing n dancing in Blackpool, unless anything else happens, have made a list to show her nibbs, of interventions and what strategies they will help to work towards. xx Have a lovely day uuugggghhhhh xxx

 

[chrisa]

Hi Pen hope all has gone well for you today. I thought I was guna cry this morning just so furious n frustrated, calmed down now, my boss said she didn;t have time this morning neitha did the other one had to wait til 3pm to show her my intervemtion ideas n resources. She said some was good picked few faults which wernt really bad but she had to knit pick something, then when I got ome guess what 4.50pm my cap fell off my tooth. I was crying couldn't believe theweek i have had to go straight up as they shut at 5 he mended it there n then and was back home for 5.15 £17.50 but its fixed now have had it on for 25 yrs its white gold, so drille dit out n cemented it back on. I am now ready for me night away at BLACKPOOL, to let my short hair down. Hope you have a good weekend Penelope and if i still feel the sam next week thinkn of goin to docs myself maybe get some anti depressants, very down at mo. xx

 

[Priceless]

Way to go! I had my weekly weigh in today. I am down to 231lbs from 285lbs. I hope we all can continue this progress. I had my surgery Aug. 28, 2012 (about 6 weeks ago).

 

[penelope1008]

Oh Chrisa, the b***h, but then why are we surprised. Constructive criticism we can take not picking is uncalled for.
Hope your sons appointment with GP went well sounds like a road of trial & elimination poor lad.
Such a pity about your crown to crown off a rough week ( sorry couldn't resist the play on words), so happy that he managed to fix it for you & you got away for your weekend, here's hoping you had a great time & could unwind a bit.
Fingers crossed for a better week for us both next week, it's a pity that work, our usual refuge in times of stress at home should be an additional stress for us both just now. Here's hoping we can both find a balance & not have to resort to medication to get us through, (but maybe that's a biased view of the meds from someone who only has an outside view of them).

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[chrisa]

HI, have had lovely time away lots of fun, just what i needed. Heres hoping we both have a better week work n home xx another meeting tomorrow bout performance management, 2nd lesson should be fun, not. xx

 

[chrisa]

Work still tha same have been crying today went saw my line manager well she is the next one down from the Senco who has been conducting meetings, still not a happy bunny, just couldnt show or tell her what I had done couldn't find anything I needed to looked a right pratt she wasnt impressed i could tell. I was in an hour came out had no break printing off lesson plans, not even time for a cuppa. Had part of me lunch, with a friend and that was it flood gates went, went back to see her, oh emailed Senco 1st but no reply til wait for it 5oclock this evening at home. She has requested I go and see her tomorrow. I have got a lot done tonight had my daughter making resources, once they aer made thats it isn't it. I will just print good few put so can keep some in each dept. I work in, then can specialise in Technology. Still so much can do but am guna goto bed am absolutely knackered after showing myself up today and no doubt when I see her tomorrow I wll be crying again. If it doesnt settle down may have to go and get some antidepressants, really bad at the moment. Bit happier have got some work done n out of the way but lots still to do. Hope your day has been better Penelope n hope your family unit is ok ours is at the moment, son ok for now. xx

 

[penelope1008]

Oh Hun so sorry your day was so rough, glad though resources are coming together but they take so long to set up. I sat for 45mins yesterday trying to get inspiration on resources for a lad I do extraction lessons with once each week, I need to do speech & Lang work with but my speciality is numeracy not that so have no idea, thankfully another colleague was free & gave me a few resources & pointed me towards others as she usually dies that area. I wouldn't have had that is the lad hadn't been off sick.
Maths department meeting tonight after work, with a team building walk around a local national trust garden tomorrow night oh joy!.
Tackled assistant Senco yesterday in overheard conversation repeated to me that the teacher I had problems with last year saying she was doing my performance management which I believed had been vetoed last year, ta's performance management normally done by Senco management team not maths. Said as she & I have the empathy & people skills of a Sherman tank driven by a blind & deaf driver I didn't think it would work on either side. St least I wasn't just stropping on them but come on she may be singing my praises this year but being patronised by her on how to do my job no thanks.
Here's hoping things improve for us both but sadly think we are both so low physically & emotionally that may be a tough ask. Stay strong Hun you are great at your job no matter what your being put through.

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[chrisa]

Hi Penelope yes sounds like our school, get to do all the jobs no one else wants n then they butter you up then go for the jugular. I had to go and see boss today(senco) my line manager had told her but so hasd the re teacher who is a long time friend of mine we ran a youth group together some years ago, we have always got on and I do 5 lessons with him now r.e. he went to see my LM last night n said he was concerned bout me he is a union man so wades in there, she passed it to senco, she was very sympathetic today, but has a habit of stabbing you in the back. Managed not to cry but filled up few times, but was proud of myself, she doesn't think I will be observed in Tech or Science because they want to be in a "wordy" subject she said. So looks like it will be RE, with me friend. We will have time to plan something good and hopefully all will be ok. xx Hope the week gets better for us both, hope your home life is improving a little also. Thins ok here as thye are worried bout me crying on and off so all being nice to me. haha the things us wives, mothers have to do. xx

 

[penelope1008]

Yay way to go your friend, at least they've backed off you a bit. I know what you mean it's great your friend is standing up for you & will help you get through this observation allowing you to prove you can do your job perfectly well if your given the support you deserve rather than brickbats!, however watch your back there's nothing like someone wading in for you & warning them to back off to ruffle their feathers.
Glad all at home calmer for you it's great we have loving families even with the stresses theory currently have for us. I went to a carnival club bingo last night won a few prizes & relaxed it was great. Just as well I had a full on day today with extra running around to add to it as well plus dept meeting.
One of our new angels inherited from another school after permanent exclusion should have gone to local learning centre but can't as mum works there as a TA so we got him, asd kid & has been non stop trouble since he arrived, well he went off on one & I had to find behaviour manager to help his TA, of course no where to be found, so grabbed Senco who went off on one, sent me to search & she went to help TA. 10+ mons of searching still no manager went back to report & she'd found them, typical. Went to continue to the lesson I should have been but found a man wandering the building trying to find reception so accompanied him there, now almost as far from where I should be as possible. Finally got there & continued the day, break disappeared, on duty at lunch, lunch break disappeared under work, last lesson with my delightful yr 10's interrupted by a fire alarm in a rainstorm! More work during hiatus between end of day & meeting, which runs late, no surprise there! Finally get to call home to leave instructions for tea as I walk home, so tea late for youngest who stacks shelves tonight until 10pm so he's gone with no tea but a snack as he flew out of the door. Hubby announces he can't taxi youngest to his climbing course in bournemouth on saturday can i do it, initial answer i wanted to give was no you do those ones but he's doing overtime so I guess its me in bournemouth for 4hrs while he naps before a night bed watch in bristol, just what I need not! Now down 3bodies, only me & eldest whose in his room, I shall be off to bed ASAP once I've finished a few bits. Roll on half term I need a break. Worried my friend in Spain as I was so down in my last letter, so tempting to run away for the week if only I had the cash.

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[chrisa]

Manic life similar to mine, Yep I am always aware of those who ruffle feathers and am always wary specially the Senco says one thing to ya then crabs you off to someone else, very wary. I went to bed last night at 8pm was knackered. But feel lot calmer but probably won't last, the other Lsa's feel similar but they have mainly one subject possibly small 2nd I have 3 Tech is the biggest, then Science n Re then I have 3 1:1's and one IT. It really has just blagged my head. But onwards n upwards lets hope today is better we have 2hrs Cpd tonight fun funf fun (uuugggghhhhh)xx

 

[penelope1008]

No weigh in this week, walked around Stourhead Gardens with colleagues from work followed by soup in the pub for tea. Had a group photo taken by colleague then assistant head/maths teacher asked a passing walker to take one of us all, saying you look like a trustworthy lady can you take our photo please, we'll the trustworthy lady kindly did shifting a bloke hanging around out of the way. So what! you all say, well what I & some of the others had twigged but this colleague hadn't was this trustworthy looking lady was Valerie Singleton of Blue Peter fame who lives in the area, so we all now have a tenuous claim to fame. Lol

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[chrisa]

Oh wow Pen, who needs David Bailey? I have an email today from the SEnco n my line manager my 1st observation is NEXT WEDNESDAY P 4. Oh they have really let me settle in!! I have spoken to my friend in re and we are going to plan it together, I ahve a piece to diferentiate and he is going to check it over and then we are going to sit down together n thrash it out. My God I will be a wreck next week, I am in Science lesson 3 before it so will be rushing from one lesson to the next, bloody typical, think they only watch for 20 minutes though fingers x. No doubt there will be alot of nit picking afterwards, n my role will be called into question, well they can do a running jump I will be ready for them. Do they actually speak to me when I am being observed or do they just appear while I'm working then slope off again? I haven't noticed in the past what happens?? Hope you have ahad a good day Pen xx

 

[penelope1008]

My last observation was for most of my lesson, then they left we sat down a couple of days later when we were both free to get feedback & talk about cpd's etc what they though needed work & what I felt & how we could do it together. In theory a great scenario it's never yet worked out that way & unless its been exam board changes meetings or a behaviour management course I found for free from my union so since passing my HLTA I've had no training any I've asked about I'm told isn't needed (dyscalculia) it's something that really interests me & could halo all kids not just number dyslexic kids, but hey go maybe I'm not in favour at the moment.
Day off tomorrow as inset days & ta's not in yay, will spend it marking no doubt & plan to phone GP for an appointment & start the search for help.
Hope you have a good day & I'm sure you'll knock their socks off next week. Go show'em girl.

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