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Toto's diary

3 more sleeps until my op on Thursday...aaaaggggghhhh. The nerves are kicking in a bit but I think its excitement too. I just want it over with now. Haven't had a great weekend on the pre-op diet... think I've had some last suppers again...ie a steak, which I guess is hard to eat afterwards and some lager which again is fizzy and difficult to enjoy after too. I couldn't help myself. Anyway, I'll be controlled for the next 2 days and fingers crossed for Thursday. I'm on the theatre list for 10am and hubby is taking me in and staying til I'm awake. Nice man :)
Fingers crossed folks! xx
 
An hour to go until I leave for the hospital at Murrayfield in Edinburgh. Can't sleep! I've been awake since 4am and although I don't feel particularly panicked, I just want it over with now. I can't imagine what it feels like afterwards. Will I be able to turn over in bed easily? or will my stomach muscles be really sore? Will I cope with the wind pain?
And isn't it always the way that when you can't have anything to eat or drink you could murder a cup of tea and a bit of toast! It seems really odd that I won't be chewing anything for a fortnight...hahaha.
Ach well, I'll be a lot thinner soon and that can only be a good thing.
I'll be back after I've been stabbed :)
Hope to see you soon and many thanks to everyone for all your support over the past couple of months. xx
 
I'm home!!! Thank God I woke up!
It was all quite a whirlwind experience and I kept having doubts al the way through. I even started crying on the operating table before the anaesthetic hit me.... what a nightmare patient I was! But they said that its all very normal and not to worry. So I'm done!
The first 24hrs haven't been much fun. Headaches, nausea ( but it passed) and lying on my back with the inflatable booties on was not comfy. I also had a reaction to the dressings which is annoying but no ones fault.
My stomach is tender but I can walk about ok and I just had half a tin of Heinz Tomato soup...pure heaven after 24hrs of water! But my stomach is complaining a little ...not sure whether to worry or not!
I really wish I could have lost weight without surgery but I can't because I have so much to lose so I'm going to stop saying that now! I've got a gastric band and I can't ask for a refund :)
Thanks for all your good wishes...think I'm going for a sleep cos I didn't sleep very well last night.
Speak soon xx
 
Yesterday I felt really under the weather. When I woke up I found out that I was allergic to the replacement dressing I was given as well as the first ones (Mepore 1st then Tegaderm 2nd) and all my skin surrounding my 5 wounds was irritated and red and in places it was blistered and weeping :( -I was very unhappy cos I didn't really have anything else. I ended up using a gauze swab (sterile luckily) and some sellotape which worked a treat!
Then all day I couldn't get a breath and felt quite lightheaded. Then the left shoulder pain hit. OMG... it took what little breath I had left away! I couldn't believe how painful it was...like someone stabbing into my shoulder joint. So I phoned my nurse who was lovely. She said the shoulder pain is normal and will pass and is due to CO2 gas trying to get out of your body and your left shoulder is the highest point in your body that it can get to. Its also when your diaphragm is irritated from all the swelling and this causes pain up there too. That also causes the breathless feeling but not to worry as it's all normal. I was really grateful for her advice because I was feeling really down and full of regrets. She also told me to take off the DVT stockings now and to take off all the dressings too. I could had hugged her!!
So I'm into Day 5 post-op, I've been for a walk and I feel soooo tired so I'm off for a nap.
Liquids going down a treat....dont feel hungry at all. That's truly amazing. Long may it continue.
 
Day 6 and I've got oral thrush now. No luck eh. I feel quite frightened of food today. I made some chicken and veg soup but I pureed it to within an inch of its life and even then I kept finding little 'bits' in it and I spat them out. I guess I'm being overly picky but I'm so scared something awful will happen. What a woos! Wondering what I've gotten myself into :(
 
Feeling really negative at the moment. What have I done...etc. Not sure how I'm going to cope with food properly...Scared stiff of things getting stuck and PBing in general..... Things that I thought through before now seem like huge problems ie. no more big xmas dinners!
I really don't feel in control of it. Think I'll go back to bed and have a duvet day and hope for better days :(
 
Gave myself a talking to yesterday and eventually got my head around the fact that there is no going back now. And I can't exactly get a refund can I!
Its 7 days since my op and I've lost 10lbs in the week which is absolutely brilliant (although I'm still on fluids) and has contributed to my general lift in mood. :)
Its not just that though...I feel better in myself too...wounds are healing well, plaster allergies are clearing up(that was horrific) and my energy has reappeared...I've got my Mojo back :)
(Just a shame I don't look like Cheryl Cole though haha)
So, all in all- a positive day today - feel the love folks :)
 
Day 14: Crikey- what a misery I was last week! My poor husband must have been wondering what to do. Luckily he's so laid back he's almost horizontal so he's still here- thankfully :)
I feel so much more normal this week. Got some energy back and I can swallow whole tins of soup now! However, with the healing and the swelling going down I must admit I'm feeling hungry. Perhaps starting pureed food today will help that because I truly haven't felt hungry up until last night.
I've got 6 days until go back to work and I'm a bit nervous how I'll cope. My job is quite stressful and very busy and I'm on my feet all day too but other people can do it so I shall try to stay calm.
Thanks for listening.x
 
***Warning- misery alert!!****
Day 2 on sloppies.
I'm actually feeling sick of myself. I'm so self-absorbed and keep over-analysing every morsel of food going down my throat. I don't know whether its my age and its difficult teaching an old dog new tricks or at least new habits with food ,but I feel totally unconfident about my food choices. I'm so scared of something sticking in my band.
Yesterday I have some corned beef which I mushed down with some sloppy mashed potatoes (about 2 tbsp) and it was really tasty but I just didn't know if I felt full and then I kept stressing that it might be too stringy and get stuck and my stomach was making all sort of weird and wonderful noises. We were at my in-laws house at the time and my mother-in-law made a comment that she thought I shouldn't have eaten it and it totally floored me! As if she knows anything anyway! I think I'll just stick to eating at home for a while until I feel more confident about what I'm doing.
If anyone has any pearls of wisdom regarding things getting stuck and PBing in general I'd be grateful. I like having control of my life and I feel so far out of my comfort zone I could cry! What a wimp eh.... and I truly hope I can become more positive soon.
Thanks for listening.
 
Hi MrsPill, you are braver than I am. I have had only one pureed meal since being allowed to move onto a sloppy diet but I didn't like the feeling so I have decided to stay on a liquid diet until the 12th august (my first fill). I admire your determination despite the worry if the foods will stick!
 
Travellingman said:
Hi MrsPill, you are braver than I am. I have had only one pureed meal since being allowed to move onto a sloppy diet but I didn't like the feeling so I have decided to stay on a liquid diet until the 12th august (my first fill). I admire your determination despite the worry if the foods will stick!
Click to expand...

Dear Travellingman,
I'm amazed anyone would think I was brave! I thought I sounded like a royal pain in the A***!! Its so much harder to cope with changing your diet than I EVER thought but I don't want to eat sloppies for ever more so thats why I push myself. I suppose I have to remember that it was only 2 weeks ago that I could barely swallow half a bottle (110ml) of slimfast so I'm progressing slowly.
Today I made some chicken & red pepper casserole. Its very sweet and tasty and I've blended it to within an inch of its life. There is probably enough to feed most of Europe so if you fancy 4 tbsp I'll post you some :D

Your fill is much earlier than mine...I have to wait 6 weeks so its on 30th August and the first one is done by Xray. But my nurse said I can have more done by xray if I want during my first year.
Anyway, have a good weekend. Thanks for your reply x
 
My sister gave me a good talking to over the weekend about keeping my spirits up and not dwelling on stuff. She said that it sounds like I'm going to find changing foods a bit stressful and to just take it slowly which is right. I've cooked some nice pureed food and I shall stop stressing about the being sick...although I haven't been sick yet!
Back to work tomorrow...it'll be nice to think about something else for a change!
 
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