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BANDERS UNITE ! Get to know each other chatter !

Neen said:
I'll pm you the links in a few x
I definately think as the weeks go by and you start to feel better physically and see some weight go, you should definately get your CV up to date and register with some employment agencies xxx Get that working life sorted as it is too big a slice of life to be miserable in.

Just wanted to add this as I was thinking about it further, you say about it being a bad time to change jobs, but I think it could be the perfect time, you were brave enough to go for an operation to change your life as your weight is one of the causes of your unhappiness and discomfort, well your work is another major cause of your unhappiness by what you have said. Why not just be brave again and get yourself out of the situation?
Any downsides eg a pay change etc have got to be overshadowed but getting away from this negative person who's undermining you and your self esteem.
I think it would be a positive step to cut loose and go somewhere new, meet new colleagues and be yourself and stand up for yourself from the start.
Don't tolerate the crap because you feel you aren't able to get something better. This could be the start to a whole new better phase of life, together with the band helping you to cut the weight x Please have a think about it and get that CV out there to some good agencies online.
Even if you don't immediately find something, just knowing that you're declaring yourself available for new jobs and have taken steps to find one should have a really good psycological effect on you and how you cope with work and the cowbag boss from hell till something better turns upx

The anxiety is a signal telling you this situation is not good for you and you need to change it. The anxiety will not go away until you address the cause..eg your job!! Rather than try and suppress your anxiety use it for what is, the trigger to change things for the better x
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You are so right Neen. The situation with her is not going to change. I have been doing a lot of thinking about it and I know that I can do one of two things - find a new job or simply leave her to do what she thinks will wreck my career and work around her. I have been doing the work around for a long time with some success but it has taken its toll and I cannot again compromise my health for the job. This is a shame because I like the work I do. I would really have to do something completely different as what I do is specialised and I would not find an equivalent post anywhere in the country. This is the big thing I need to get over.

Mr TB is very worried and it does not help his medical condition, so it is very tough at the moment. I have promised him that when I go back I will not do the long hours or put up with the crap that was going on before I had my op.

I needed the op to sort out my health i.e. get off the BP meds and I am stunned that has started to happen much quicker than I expected. I do not want to compromise this progress and the job is a real threat to that. Need to go in with a new head and start as I mean to go on until I find a way out.

Thanks for the support - it means a lot when I know you are dealing with so much yourself.

tranquil x
 
I think if it's possible, as well as getting your details out on view, I would also log/record everything she does to undermine or disrupt you and then once you have a decent amount of evidence, go to her superior and make a complaint.
Bullying in the workplace is not something you should just roll over and accept or put up with to avoid a scene.
Don't let her do it to you anymore x
It wouldn't suprise me if she is keeping you under the thumb because your efforts are making her look good and not need to do her job properly, I wonder if you considered that
 
Neen said:
I think if it's possible, as well as getting your details out on view, I would also log/record everything she does to undermine or disrupt you and then once you have a decent amount of evidence, go to her superior and make a complaint.
Bullying in the workplace is not something you should just roll over and accept or put up with to avoid a scene.
Don't let her do it to you anymore x
It wouldn't suprise me if she is keeping you under the thumb because your efforts are making her look good and not need to do her job properly, I wonder if you considered that
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I know exactly why she is doing what she is doing and have been logging it for a long time. It is bullying and I have been conscious of this a for a long time. The problem is everyone knows she is doing it - including the head of the department but no one seems to want to deal with it. I can stand up for myself - the only problem is I am likely to do something fairly drastic - so I have to keep my temper under control or you might be visiting me in Holloway!

Do not worry - there is more than one way to skin a cat;).

tranquil x
 
OK , well go over enough heads and there will be someone who doesn't know and will take steps to stop it. You have to make yourself a pain in someones neck and keep pressing them about it or it will not get sorted.
Think about what really matters in life, you and Mr TB's health and happiness, money comes and goes and you are a capable smart woman...you can do anything x
 
Neen said:
OK , well go over enough heads and there will be someone who doesn't know and will take steps to stop it.
Think about what really matters in life, you and Mr TB's health and happiness, money comes and goes and you are a capable smart woman...you can do anything x
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Here here Nina, shes sooooooooo right TB you can be whatever you want to be! XX
 
Thank you both and now I am blushing here...

I am stubborn if nothing else and really do not want to go back to life before. So much has changed already and I am determined to hang on to this. I will not let the old moo get me down:D.

tranquil x
 
Look at it this way, not only is she intimidated by your capability and SUPERIOR skills enough to act like this, when you start losing weight and looking fantastically slinky she will probably scratch your eyes out as well...arm yourself with staplers and ............ I can't write what I want to say at this point but you can imagine I expect :D
 
Neen said:
Look at it this way, not only is she intimidated by your capability and SUPERIOR skills enough to act like this, when you start losing weight and looking fantastically slinky she will probably scratch your eyes out as well...arm yourself with staplers and ............ I can't write what I want to say at this point but you can imagine I expect :D
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Lol! I am not sure about anything being superior - but I like your thinking:D.

tranquil x
 
Lol, go Neen!! TB I agree with everything she says.

Afternoon, I'm just in from work and I'm shattered, it's treat night so hubby is bringing home a mcflurry and I can't wait mmmmm xx

Oh I lost 2lbs, wohoo x
 
Neen and dotty c I just read your posts and collapsed with laughter. Neen if I thought that babysitting your kids would impact I would volunteer her - but she has a stone heart and is the coldest person I have ever met - no emotion whatsoever. I sat in a meeting with her with another person who was in a terrible state - had suffered a terrible family tragedy. The person broke down in tears and she actually sighed and rolled her eyes while she passed them a tissue. I think that will give you an idea of the kind of person she is. Oh well....

Well done on the loss Sarah. Seems like we have a few people on a roll - long may it continue.

tranquil x
 
Neen said:
I was expecting the kids to do her in rather than touch her heart :D
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Ooooh....sounds like a better plan - are they under 10 - below the criminal age of responsibility??? :D Just kidding:8855: but the thought was sooo appealing.


This has made me look at the meeting I have coming up with her on Monday in a whole new light - just hope I do not get a fit of the giggles talking to her now - with that image I have in my head of Neen's little ones doing her in:8855:.

tranquil x
 
:8855::8855::8855::8855::8855:

She is a classic 80's power dresser - jackets with buttons.

Wonder if I could interest her in a new bright jacket..

Gets the needle and thread out:whistle:

tranquil:D
 
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