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fjsinc said:
Thank you Paula, Im not overly worried about my gain, as its right on cue for my (new found) lady cycle, It is a bit disappointing because I was super good last week, lol! I'm struggling a bit with the psychological side of things at the moment. When I look in the mirror I still see the old me, I know I'm smaller but feel I look odd in clothes. I see all the lumps, bumps and unsightly folds. BUT 3 times in the last 2 weeks I've walked passed a mirror in a shop and failed to realise I was looking at myself. My brain is playing tricks on me. Been xmas shopping, aggghhhhh! B: Almonds, yoghurt and berries. S: Cappuccino L: Chicken and herb mayo sandwich. S: Light Frappaccino. D: Homemade pizza and salad. S: Kitkat,
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I know exactly how you feel about the psychological side of thing. I feel the same about how I look. I just don't believe people when they say "your just tiny" I don't feel it or see what they see.

I've asked for a referral to psychology, as it's really bothering me and starting to freak me out.
 
Paula Lewis said:
I know exactly how you feel about the psychological side of thing. I feel the same about how I look. I just don't believe people when they say "your just tiny" I don't feel it or see what they see.

I've asked for a referral to psychology, as it's really bothering me and starting to freak me out.
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Me too Paula, I waiting for some CBT slots to become available. I went through this whole process without psych input, but now I really feel I need it.
You know I feel quite dissatisfied, and guilty because I should feel grateful. But I am grateful, and pleased, and proud. My head is all over the place. The world treating me differently was a thrill at first, but now I find it a little disturbing. I liked my personal identity before, I naively thought it wasn't going to change.
 
fjsinc said:
Me too Paula, I waiting for some CBT slots to become available. I went through this whole process without psych input, but now I really feel I need it.
You know I feel quite dissatisfied, and guilty because I should feel grateful. But I am grateful, and pleased, and proud. My head is all over the place. The world treating me differently was a thrill at first, but now I find it a little disturbing. I liked my personal identity before, I naively thought it wasn't going to change.
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Oh my gosh! This is exactly how I feel! And I resent people saying I'm so muh happier now.
 
fjsinc said:
Me too Paula, I waiting for some CBT slots to become available. I went through this whole process without psych input, but now I really feel I need it. You know I feel quite dissatisfied, and guilty because I should feel grateful. But I am grateful, and pleased, and proud. My head is all over the place. The world treating me differently was a thrill at first, but now I find it a little disturbing. I liked my personal identity before, I naively thought it wasn't going to change.
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I know it's weird isn't it? I feel that people think I'm fishing for compliments when I try and explain what goes through my head, how I feel and what I see when I look at myself.

While I'm grateful like you for this wonderful gift, I feel like I'm an alien in someone else's body. I also struggle with how my loose skin on my tummy looks. I'm not bothered about any of the other areas. But my 'apron' turns me sick.
 
Thank you Paula and Yvessa. I'm glad it's not just me! People only want to hear the positive side of things. They assume that I feel happier, because I am healthier, fitter and more attractive. End of the story. It's just so much more complex than that. I feel sad because so many people seem to think that I couldn't (or maybe shouldn't) have been happy before. I hate people telling me how I must feel, and when I try to explain how I actually feel, I either get dismissed or contradicted.
I am genuinely happy with my progress, but really struggling to make sense of the changes in me. I know what you mean Paula about being in an alien body. I feel so awkward and odd!
 
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I have to admit I don't try and explain now because I get told but look at how much your already lost! Like I'm not allowed to feel frustrated with a slow loss.
 
Hi grils have just been readin the posts I can equate with everything said. 2yrs and 3 months out I am in the same size clothes for the last few months however when I put them on I look like I have put weight on dunno wether I have with only walking exercise or wether its the mind playing tricks. I only wlak these days the stretches and that have stopped just cannot get a routine going these shifts have me all over the place sleep is crap and never the same night after night. I t is difficult I had hoped to get something nice for Christmas. I have looked all over however because I am very static the clothes I like all seem to be in the worst type of fabric which ar eok for 1 wearing then that's it they will just cling.I have managed a nice dress from bonne Marche not what I was looking for but tried it on and it fits nice tried 2 actually the one I liked most looked awful, too big on top but lovely round bum thighs and hips would have had to have taken in under the arms in darts really gaping my top half is a 16-18 but my bottom half is 18-20 anything really figure hugging would be a 20 and that is the style so I got a 20 this one has short sleeves and is a better bit. will have to dress it up.
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This is it I do like it but not what I thought I would get. I like glitter and the last few years have had a sequin top or sparkle dress, disappointing really. My head still hasn't caught up and don't know if it ever will.The good thing is because I started my new job this year no one knew me before and at this other new project no one knows me as being any different, to them I am just bit larger than others but don't look out of place where as I was huge before. I am terrified of putting it back on but why do clothes not look the same on us, what are our minds upto????? I have no answers ladies just more questions, This is a life time thing and like everything else answers will not come till they are meant to and think we all get disheartened and discouraged most of all by those who poo poo what we have had done and say we have took the easy way out. Its one almighty fight. Give in??? NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I like nice dress but love wearing trousers also, but its difficult to get nice non static trousers that don't cost the earth. I like a skirt however stopped wearing them when I was bigger as my legs used to get sore especially with tights on. Now the problem with skirts is if they look n fit nice when I sit down I feel too restricted and my tummy doesn't like it. Cannot win really but I have always had a difference in sizes of my top and bottom half. Before my op I dared to dream I would be skinny for the 1st time eva but the reality is it will never be like that for me sometimes it makes me sad. Oh I know I have come a long way but so have others and managed to come down passed me and further down. Sometimes I get cross but just have to get over it and move on and think where I would be now if I hadn't had the surgery xxxxx
 
You've done really well chris. And your right to focus on where you'd be without your bypass. Your friendship and words if advice and support have meant so much to me. Your inspirational xx

Here's today's menu.
B- Fage with grapes and strawberries.
L - 1/4 of brown tuna sandwich beef and salad.
S - 2 squares of dark chocolate with raspberries.
T - Left over chicken fajita.

Drinks - Tea, coffee, water, nas squash.
Exercise - weights, bike hill interval, rowing, 1 hour Zumba class.
 
Words of wisdom, as always, Chrisa.

I spoke to my mum about how I'm feeling, and she thinks there is a battle going on in my head. She's right I think, its between my fear of all the changes that are happening to me, and the fear that I wont reach my goals.

My appetite has just revved up big time. Its that lady cycle thing, so just going with the flow. Bit shocking though, could maintain on what I ate today, but I know its not a typical day.

B: Hazelnuts and almonds. Yoghurt.
S: Crisps.
L: Turkey and stuffing sandwich.
S: 4 crispbreads with chicken and Philadelphia.
D: 1/2 pork chop with broccoli, carrots and mash.
S: Left over cous cous salad.
 
I think we have all done really well. I just feel that we've spent a lifetime idealising skinny and it's been so far out of our reach for so log we wouldn't know what it was if it hit us on the face. My weight is so stuck at the moment and its getting me down. And as a result I'm feeling fat. But I have ought my Christmas dress and can get Into it. Size 16 wiggle dress. Never in a million years would 30 stone me have believe it.
 
Paula Lewis said:
I know it's weird isn't it? I feel that people think I'm fishing for compliments when I try and explain what goes through my head, how I feel and what I see when I look at myself.

While I'm grateful like you for this wonderful gift, I feel like I'm an alien in someone else's body. I also struggle with how my loose skin on my tummy looks. I'm not bothered about any of the other areas. But my 'apron' turns me sick.
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Oh my word!
Today I actually sent a text to my hubby saying I'm sick of feeling alien(same word alien)
I'm really struggling too and it's getting worse,it's quite overwhelming at times.
 
This is it Chrisa. Need to lose a bit for it to be comfy by Christmas but its an incentive I needed right now.
 

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emma-louise said:
Oh my word! Today I actually sent a text to my hubby saying I'm sick of feeling alien(same word alien) I'm really struggling too and it's getting worse,it's quite overwhelming at times.
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It is Emma. I'm often really overwhelmed by how I feel. To the point where I feel very stressed by it. Yve, you look beautiful. That colour really suits you x
 
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