Quick update from me. It's been a week and a half that I have had my forth fill and still feeling the restriction massively! So very happy with it. Not feeling starving anymore, eating of a side plate ONCE (lol) and not snacking between meals.... unless at work and bored... sometimes... really need to sort a new career path asap!!! Any sugestion welcome, plus what a bonus will it be to say to my boss, screw you!!! I would like to be self employed but you need to have the courage and confidence in yourself that you can make it and earn enough money to pay for bills and mortgages etc.... so if anyone knows where I could find self confidence and courage let me know!
Anyway, after moaning for so long about not having any restriction and been able to eat everything, I find myself been completely on the other end of the story in the fact that I can eat about 5 or 6 mounthful of whatever it is then I am full. So far today I had two biscottes with low fat flore for breakfast and 2 eggs scrambled for lunch, could not even finish it and a milky coffee. Now to explain even further what feeling the right level of restriction does do you: OH made brownies now anyone knowing and reading my diary will know how much I ADORE his brownies, it's better than sex!!!
(shush don't tell him I said that!) and as we are going to see my family for Easter he decided to make some. Now I am seating upstairs going through a tidy up of my clothes and take stuff to the charity shop, he shout out from downstairs, do you want to do the dishes of the brownies. Now before people think I am is slave and do the washing up, he meant, do I want to lick alll the bowls, spoons (which is what I always do) but this time, I went no thank you, I am good. Now i just said no to lick a bowl of melted chocolate!!! an hour ago he said, i cut you a piece for you to try and I said maybe later. It has been an hour and it still there!!! And I don't feel obscese by it just that right now I am still full from lunch and will have it later when I fancy it. It's a like a different person took over my head! Is it related to the band? or am I on a high from sorting out old too clothes, am I just in a right frame of mind right now? Maybe but who cares, for once I said no thanks to something involving chocolate and don't feel like its a sacrifice!!! I am just weird, I know! Anyway, going to see my parents on thursday, have not seen them since christmas, will they notice a difference I hope so. Do I care, yes of course, but strangely enough, not as much as I used to.... humm..... So this is the happy note, the not so happy note is: Now that I cannot physically eat much, I feel cheated if what i eat isn't really what I fancy! Also now I feel completely all over the place because it has been a stressful week and for the first time, I could not eat my way out of those feelings.... don't know how to deal with those emotions, usually I used to feed them now I cannot, so need to deal with them, and I don't like it!!! But I keep telling myself it surely has to be more healthy to deal with emotions head on than use food to counter act them... Boy oh boy what a learning journey this band malarky is!!! right enough rambling from, I still have this browny waiting for me.....
i am no angel!
